Throwback Thursday


                                            Everyday is a brand new day,

                                             everyday is a journey.

  Here we are with another Throwback Thursday upon us. We're taking a look into the past in the year 2013 and providing a small update on where we are now.

 Nothing has really changed since this post. The same fears plague Emily as they did back then. What has changed is my outlook on death. I would worry what would happen when I'm gone. We all have that one child that is an overachiever in all areas and the one that needs a small nudge. I have one of each. Guess which one I would be worried about the most?

 All that changed this year as I have undergone a trust issue with God. What am I so worried about? Does He not say He will provide for us and take care of us as long as we believe in Him and lead Christlike lives? Am I not a child of God? Then why am I a slave to fear?

 Does that mean that I never show fear or worry again? Absolutely not. They still try to creep in once in a while, but I definitely try to squash these feelings away. I know there will be times where I will struggle with these issues again, but I also believe a time will come where I will overcome. 


A Complicated Life

Emily and I sat in front of the computer signing into my HR account at work. Every  portal opened, required another username and password. On the desk was the notebook with all the secret passwords. Who could remember them all by heart? Emily, rolling her eyes, exclaimed:

"You have to do all that just to get access?"

Yes, you have to do all that. Life is complicated and all these computers are made for our lives to be simpler, but really they're not. Somehow, they seem to complicate my life even more. Maybe, if I understood them better and actually knew how to use them . . . .

Taking in her features, my heart swells with love . . . . .and pain. Life is complicated and just thinking about all she will have to endure as a woman, a mother, a wife causes my heart to ache with pain. How can I make it easier for her? How do I prepare her for life?

 Emily's biggest worry? That I won't be around to help her grow as a young woman. Won't be around to help her fill in the blanks. My worry? It used to be the same. A young girl needs her mother. She always jokes that I need to write down in a notebook all the important facts of life. That would be a BIG book.

How will I know what to do if you're not here to show me?

I tell her: That's why women need other women, so we can help each other through this complicated life.  Our women friends will never leave you completely alone when I'm gone. They will be here. They will take over for me. They will pray for you and over you.

As mothers, that is our biggest fear . . .  .that our children will be left unprotected. Who will care for them? Who will be there to hold them tight?

I used to spend so much time worrying about my death. These questions would plaque me. The closer I became to God, I knew He would take care of all my worries. As long as my children seek Him to lead them, they will be just fine. It's His promise to us as His children. 

Have a Blessed Week everyone and know that you are loved.


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