Monday, November 30, 2015

Sometimes We Just Mess Up


                           Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey. 

When  I first found the story below, I knew I had to share it with the rest of you. Actually, I laughed out loud, because which one of us hasn't messed up and behaved in a very unflattering way? We are all human. We all make mistakes. I hope you enjoy and may it bring a smile to a dreary day.
I was driving down the street one day and pulled up behind a man at a red light. I looked at his car and I saw a bumper sticker on the back that said, “Honk, if you love Jesus.” So the light turned green, and as I got in the left lane to pass him, I beeped my horn a few times and waved.
Well, I apparently infuriated that fellow. He had forgotten about the bumper sticker, so he threw his hands up in the air and started yelling at me out his window. I couldn’t tell exactly what he said, but I know for sure it wasn’t “Jesus loves you.”
As a believer, you’re going to live your life under a microscope. When people find out you’re a Christian, they’re going to look at how you live your life and make a judgment by seeing your attitude toward others and how thankful you are to God for the blessings He’s given you. Fair or not, that’s how it goes!
So how do we live in front of a watching world? Humbly. Accept that you’re not perfect. Give thanks for the many blessings in your life, knowing who gave them to you. Ask forgiveness when you make mistakes and show grace when others do. Serve the Lord passionately and you’ll be a powerful witness to a watching world.
By Jack Graham 

Have a Blessed day everyone.

Sunday, November 29, 2015

The Day After

                                          Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.

Many of today’s moms  trudge around in circles from morning until night, wondering how they can get everything done. Many are employed full-time while also taking care of families, chauffeuring kids, fixing meals, cleaning the house, and trying to maintain marriages, friendships, and spiritual obligations. It’s a breathless way of life we call “routine panic.”
Dr. James Dobson

It's been a long, but wonderful Thanksgiving Holiday. We are definitely enjoying the four day weekend, even forgetting what day it is for real. 

We are also taking a break from the everyday chores of living like laundry and washing dishes. This morning our kitchen sink looked like a pile of dirty pots and pans. I think every spoon, bowl and cup was in there that we owned. Not only was the sink overflowing, but so were the counters.  

We laughed out loud upon seeing that huge mess. We are two people and yet we have created such a mess. That's what happens when we become lazy for a day.  Can you imagine a family of five or more?

Living life creates a mess and we are so hard on ourselves if we don't reside in that perfect Brady Bunch household. Appearance means more to us than the quality spent with our families. 

Well, that's something we can't be accused of during this Holiday weekend here in this apartment. We did tackle all our chores today after giving ourselves a break, but everything we did, we did in a leisurely way. There was no rush, no condemnation, no self analysis. We are on a small vacation after all. 

Reality of the work week will be here sooner than we may want it. At least, we can enjoy the few days of laziness that we are blessed to come our way (lol). So enjoy your life, folks. Once in a while, we just have to forget about those dishes. 

Have a Blessed day everyone.  

Saturday, November 28, 2015

A Day Well Spent

                                          Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.
Is life a noxious weed which whirlwinds sow?
A useless flint o'er which the waters flow?
Not so!
A life well spent has not its weight in gold;
It is the clearest crystal earth doth hold,
A gem beside which suns seem dull and cold.
--Robert Louis Stevenson.

Having stayed up pretty late the night before, the last thing I wanted this morning was to get up. The rainy weather outside didn't help. All I wanted to do was stay in wearing my pajamas, watch the mystery marathon on WYCC and crochet. Nothing new there. That's all I ever want to do.

This morning was a little different. I had a coffee date with an old friend from work. A few years back, we worked together on the same shift and had lunch almost every single day. She's been wanting to get together for a long time now. 

This morning the last thing I wanted was to meet up with anyone, but I went and I couldn't be happier that I did. We laughed so hard that it actually hurt. We cried a bit, too. We shared, we experienced, we renewed. 

Driving back home, I realized that I needed this excursion with a friend. My first instinct has always been to retreat into the background, opting for a life of a lone wolf. God has other plans for me. He wants me to go out and engage others if not for myself, then for them. I'm constantly struggling to become a people person who fellowships. Everyone always seems to be surprised when I tell them. I guess it's because I really do try to make an effort, but it requires quite a bit of work. 

 This whole  experience had me thinking about other times when I didn't go and what I possibly missed out on, because of that decision. So why do I give in so easily to the devil's whisper? Because I'm lazy. It doesn't require any work at all. If I listen and stay home doing what I want, it's easy. It's like deciding to give up sugar for Lent when one doesn't really care for sweets in the first place. 

Instead, I had to get up and shower. Dress appropriately (makeup and all) and drive in this miserable weather to the designated destination (a 30 minute drive). A lot of work when one is feeling lazy, but the reward was fabulous.

Not only did I have a wonderful time, but so did she. We as women need each other even if that means we are affirming the struggles we face as wives, mothers, workers etc. There is someone else out there going through the same thing as I. I am not alone. So reach out to that friend that you haven't connected with for a long time. Sometimes, we just need a hug.

Have a blessed day everyone. 

Thursday, November 26, 2015

Throwback Thursday

Highlights Of 2012
                                         Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone! This morning I'm feeling very happy, relaxed and extremely grateful for all that God has done for me and my family. I hope that all of you feel the same.
Today's post goes way back to 2012. I love going back and re-visiting the past. It's always great to see how far we have come as a family. I did discover something very true, though. The Fall/Winter Season does seem to be the time when I go into treatment. Here we are in November and going through another bout with cancer. I hope you enjoy.
As this year comes to a close , I find myself reflecting on the many things this past year had to offer . It's almost funny that I started 2012 with my second bout with cancer and I'm ending 2012 with my third bout . In fact , it seems my cancer likes to make an appearance in the Fall / Winter season .

The first half of the year was pretty rough with my treatments and the side effects were severe . My crying became the normal routine as did the feeling sorry for myself . I became quite an actress in hiding my true emotions from others . Going back to work was a struggle where I almost gave up my position , but I didn't . I stuck it out and  in the second half of the year , was promoted . Thank goodness I hung in there .

Of all the things that have happened this year , my slippers project has been my biggest accomplishment . All of my life , I've had good intentions placed on my heart that I've never acted upon . To have actually gone through with this leaves me in total shock to this day . I'm still amazed how God has spoken to me and I actually heard Him . I feel I have grown spiritually this year more than any other time .

We celebrated mom's 70th birthday with style . That party made me realize just how much I wanted to live to be the matriarch of my own little family .It felt good to finally admit that desire out loud .
I have come to love my grandchildren , developing a relationship with these two that will surpass any that I may have with actual blood grandchildren .

As the year ends , I can't help feeling happy with the way my life is going . These past five years have been a discovery of who I am destined to be . This year , I felt myself slowly blossoming into my own . Two days ago , a new addition was born into our family . That baby signifies hope and a bright future and I can't wait to be a part of it . . . . . no matter how long it may actually be for me .

I love life , but most of all I love my life and the people in it . Have a Blessed Life everyone .

Have a Blessed day everyone.

Monday, November 23, 2015

Are You Happy?

                                         Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.

Are You Happy?
The words jumped off the page screaming loudly to my heart. Are you happy? How am I to answer that loaded question? According to what category?
I don't know. I really don't know. It depends on the day or the situation or how I'm feeling. Maybe I should ask another question.

Are you rested? Is your heart full?  Is your cup filled with overflowing rested peace?

For so long I have been starving for that rest. Life's problems can be so draining of all our much needed essentials that only a contented heart can fill. Sometimes, we become way too busy and are not even aware of our hearts depletion. I have been searching for a renewal.

I sat in Church last Sunday and felt contentment. Contentment, because I felt the beginning of rest. It didn't happen overnight, it actually took over two whole years. I was afraid it would never come back.

Our hearts have to be fed to sustain it's growth. We can never flourish completely into our full potential if we don't provide the necessary nourishment. We all have our own levels of happiness, our own idea of what rest looks like.

Are you happy? Have you reached that stage where you can honestly say you're content with the status of your heart?

There are so many hurting people in the world that are searching for that rest, that happiness and contentment. Some find it and others blindly grasp at anything to attain it.

So am I happy? Yes, I'm on the road to a rested happiness. Where are you at?

Have a blessed day everyone.

Sunday, November 22, 2015

The 5 Step Program

                                         Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.
There is not a creature from England 's king
To the peasant that delves the soil,
Who knows half the pleasures the seasons bring
If he had not his share of toil.
--Barry Cornwall.
It's been an incredibly difficult work week with the cold affecting my poor old knees. I felt as if I was dragging a cement block instead of an actual foot. Horrible, truly horrible, especially since I'm on my feet all day. I couldn't wait for the weekend to come. So how do you get rid of the stress of the work week?
Step 1- You take a hot, bubbly soak in the tub. The problem was actually sinking into the tub and getting out of it. If you ever had swollen knees, you'd understand the difficulty in that feat. Once  I finally accomplished that, I think the entire building heard my "ahh".
Step 2-You get a massage. I have a membership at Massage Envy that my Aunt gave me for my fiftieth birthday. So I go almost every month for my free massage and today seemed like a great idea after a particularly difficult week.
Step 3- You have a glass of wine. I love red wine, absolutely love it. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not roaring drunk laying on the ground in blind stupor. A glass on the weekends or two happens to be great for the stress release. Besides, I never drink if I'm driving or on an empty stomach. I'm not having a drink to get drunk, I want to enjoy the wine.
Step 4-You have a slice of pie. I'm greatly fortunate that Emily is such a great cook. In fact, both of my kids are great cooks. Where they get it from is still a mystery. At work, they tease me endlessly on how lucky I am to have her. They also laugh jokingly that I'll probably starve when she leaves me. Sometimes a nice slice of something sweet and forbidden makes everything just right.

Step 5-You go to Church. There is nothing better than to leave all that mess of a very bad week right at the altar so we can begin anew come Monday morning. Church is the only way.

There you have it, my stress release weekend. Have a blessed Sabbath everyone.

Friday, November 20, 2015

The Hibernation

                                         Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.

Well folks it's official, I'm in total hibernation mode. No use in denying it. I could sit around and do absolutely nothing and be happy doing that. As much as I loved being busy and active, quite the opposite has been occurring now. Although, not by my own choice.

There have been so many changes these past couple of years that I feel as if our lives have been stagnant waiting for something, just not sure what that may be. We've been walking on a treadmill not really going anywhere, not making any headway or falling back. No matter how hard we try, pushing and shoving, there is no real progress.
I'm becoming more and more tired of the plainness, the sameness and the ordinariness of our everyday life. I'm ready for a change, but what is that change to be?
That's the huge question, isn't it? What's next in life. We all ponder it,  go into a depression over it, and for some of us, it can become a major obstacle to overcome. We become strangers to ourselves.
 This treatment has placed me in a very contemplative mood where I revisit and rethink many of my decisions and especially plans for the future. It seems this journey has come to a place where I want to explore the question "what else?"
As usual, it can be painful when we begin to shed our old selves. Are we really ready to face the new person that emerges from that shell? One can only try. I know that I've acquired a  certain boldness as my cancer transformation occurred eight years ago. I'm definitely not as afraid as I was of living life. In fact, I feel more of an urgency to live out my dreams and personal wish list.  

I guess there is only thing to say and do. Who's game for the next step of our journey? All abroad!

Have a blessed day everyone.

Thursday, November 19, 2015

Throwback Thursday

                                   5Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.

EveryEvery year at this time, I always take the majority of my vacation. A week of Thanksgiving and the two last weeks in December. This has been going on for years, except this year I had to give up Thanksgiving and a few days in December (team player stuff).

There is nothing more relaxing than to be off for at least a week at a time. I would choose projects to work on that required quite a bit of my time like writing or a difficult crochet project. Last year, I actually wrote the majority of my first e-book during this Holiday.

One tradition we have kept is eating tofu turkey on Thanksgiving with wild rice stuffing. Love it! Emily's adoptive family has moved to Puerto Rico and their Holiday dinners have ceased. My Godson added a baby sister Alexa to Lachlan.

So much has changed since 2012, but some things do stay the same. . . .the things that matter the most.

If I had to rate this Holiday , I'd say it has been one of the very best times ever . The best part is that we didn't do anything grand  just enjoyed each other's company .

Since the children weren't coming until the 28th, Emily and I chose to spend Christmas Eve just the two of us eating to-furkey ! Looking for the tofu turkey was an adventure in itself. This search has been over a year in the making until I finally wised up and asked people on facebook. Bingo! It was found. I have to say it was pretty darn good with wild rice stuffing. I would definitely eat it again.

After our big dinner, we sat down to watch re-runs of shows on the food network. With only the christmas lights in the window  flickering softly, we sat around in our pajamas enjoying each other's company. What an absolutely relaxing time!

The next day, I headed out to my mom's house to spend the day with her while Emily headed out to her second, adopted family for dinner. My mom  chatted to her heart's content about everything that has happened in the last couple of weeks! I sat there on the couch crocheting slipper after slipper while the hours just flew by without us even knowing it. What a great day that was! Emily equally had a great time if the video I saw was anything to go on. They just told jokes and laughed through the whole evening.

I guess the vacay was great not because of anything spectacular we did, but because of the company we enjoyed. Isn't that what holidays are all about? Last night, we had another addition to our growing family. My godson and his wife welcomed their first child, a baby boy Lachlan. God Bless!

Tonight, my littles are coming for an overnight visit so we can have our own belated Christmas. Nothing else could be more perfect.
Have a Blessed Week everyone.

Wednesday, November 18, 2015

A Dinosaur In A Modern World

                                          Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.

We all have experienced seasons of all types in our life. We have our good days and we have our bad days. It seems this week it has been more of the latter for me.
Last night in particular, brought to mind a time when I was travelling to Springfield via Amtrak. On our first stop, an older lady got on and made her way to the empty seat beside me.
She sat down. We said hello. She's visiting her son's family just as I. I like your shoes. Thank you very much. We chatted about the scenery and the weather. Where do you work? I've recently retired.
What? I'm a little shocked, because she isn't that much older than I. I ask her why.
You see, I worked in a bank handling large corporate clients. Then these young bucks straight from college came in with these new ideas and better ways to be more efficient. Suddenly, I found myself struggling to keep up in their world. I've worked there all of my life and I felt useless. I was afraid of losing my job. I thought that perhaps it was better if I retired and let those young bucks take over  since they felt they could do so much better than all of my experience.
You know, I thought about this woman yesterday and I understood completely how she felt. All of my upper management are in their twenties, the same age as my children. I listen to all their ideas and I feel like a dinosaur in a modern world. I don't have their energy. I don't have their technical know how.
Aging is sooooo difficult. This week I'm really feeling it. My legs feel like cement blocks every time I move them. I feel every ache with every movement my body makes. For the first time, I'm beginning to consider my options. I'm tired.

Have a blessed week everyone.

Tuesday, November 17, 2015

A Messy Avenue

                                         Everyday is a brand  new day, everyday is a journey.

There has been quite a mess out here on the avenue, bulldozer style. Every morning I awaken to the sounds of digging and drilling and clanging of the replacement of the sewer pipes. The massive machinery billowing great waves of dust that hangs in the atmosphere just below our windows. Thank goodness it is Fall and our windows are closed.
The streets are blocked and alleyways have become the new roadway as car after car searches for a way out amidst the construction chaos. Who ever thought there would be a traffic jam in an alley? Yet, it is all true and happening now on the avenue.
The atmosphere inside isn't any better. A shortage of parking due to this construction, and a  violation from the city inspector  over our dumping of garbage incorrectly has definitely set not only the residence on edge, but the landlord as well.
Yes, life on the avenue isn't quite the enjoyable picnic it has been at one point. Nevertheless, I still like all of them. I truly enjoy the people that are living here now. . . my neighbors.
Emily and I were just reflecting on how all the years we have lived here, they all have been spent under construction of one kind or another. If it isn't the street , then a remodel of an apartment in the building or the house across the street. Always hammering, drilling, pounding. It just never ends.

We definitely cannot wait for all of this chaos to end. It won't be long before the arrival of snow and all the construction work in our little Village doesn't look near completion. I'm worried about parking since I am coming home at night where everyone else is already settled for the night. Slim pickings, folks, slim pickings. Many a night I had to drive around in circles looking for a spot.

Here's hoping that Thanksgiving will bring some sort of end to this mess.

Have a Blessed day everyone.

Friday, November 13, 2015

Commonly Asked Questions

                                          Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.

The minute people find out that I have cancer, question after question follows as a deep desire is found to know more about the newest health threat. Cancer is everywhere. We all know someone who either has it, had it or is awaiting results. The number one question that is asked of me?

HOW did you know?
I actually felt my tumor, all seven pounds of it. The only problem was that I didn't even think it was cancer. I just knew that something wasn't right, maybe a bacterial infection of sorts, but as soon as Emily graduated I would go in for an examination. I didn't have time before that to go in.

Didn't you have regular pap smears?
Believe it or not, pap smears don't show ovarian cancer, only a scan or a blood test CA125. Ovarian cancer is called the silent killer, because it is difficult to diagnosis in it's early stages. A pap smear is good for cervical/uterine cancer or any other irregularities that women may experience. We are a complicated gender.

What were some of the symptoms you were feeling?
I wish I could tell you that my symptoms were red flags announcing I have cancer, but that's not what happened. I was extremely tired, lost weight and had problems with constant constipation. Who hasn't experienced all three at one time or another? The most obvious was my outward appearance. Unbeknownst to me, I looked sickly and several people mentioned at work their concern for me.

Let me honestly tell you that nowadays I am so aware of my body's aches and pains. If I'm tired, I take a nap. If something hurts, I tell my doctor everything. I get a flu shot every year, wipe down my desk everyday and make sure I eat healthy. I make a point to help my doctor's in the preventive care of my well being. It's all about preventive care. Make those appointments and stick to them.

Have a Blessed day everyone.

Thursday, November 12, 2015

Throwback Thursday

                                         Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a new journey.

It seems there is a pattern to my treatments. I become very tired and lack energy. Whoa, wait a minute, isn't that expected? Of course! The problem is with me. It makes no difference how bad my treatment may be, I still think I can maintain an active lifestyle. I continue to fill my plate until it's overflowing, believing I can do it all.

Not anymore. This time around, I'm taking it slow. Astonishingly, I'm not feeling guilty about not being productive. I am learning to relax and listen to my body.

O Wallow , Wallow
  I have to apologize for neglecting everyone...this blog duties at church . I have been wallowing in self-pity .  Have been laying in bed for three days ....sick .  This last chemo  took a lot more out of me than I can handle . I have one more to go in a month and I'm dreading it . This whole month has been dreadful for me . Something is going on inside of me . I'm sicker than usual : could feel despair setting in . Could it be because the end of chemo is near ?
  Reading one of my daily devotionals , I came across Joyce Meyer's , "The Importance Of
 Finishing". Here she says," there are a lot of people who step out and begin a  journey with God, but I don't think there are nearly as many who finish it".
  How will I finish my walk with God  in this journey? What is in store for me next? All I have been hearing is how I am almost done .....but there you all are wrong. This is not the end  but a beginning. It doesn't end with this last chemo. I don't get proclaimed brand new and go back to my old life. What should I do ? Where should I be ? I feel so out of place ...out of sorts . I can't even imagine going back to the old me .
 Do I continue on with this blog ? Does it end with my last treatment ? I don't know what to do .I feel like a dog that keeps going round in circles on his bed  until he finds that perfect spot and finally lays down . Where is my perfect spot ?

Have a blessed day everyone.

Wednesday, November 11, 2015

Before The Sun Comes Up

                                                Everyday is a brand new day, everyday
                                                 is a journey.
And who will walk a mile with me
Along life's weary way?
A friend whose heart has eyes to see
The stars shine out o'er the darkening lea,
And the quiet rest at the end of the day--
A friend who knows and dares to say,
The brave sweet words that cheer the way
Where he walks a mile with me.
--Henry van Dyke.

I sat on the marble bench inside the hospital awaiting for Radiology to open. It was early. I was very early. It was dark outside when I left my apartment, hardly any cars on the road.

I sat on that marble bench with an elderly woman looking through the ceiling to floor windows as the sun slowly appeared. I watched as the world awakened to a new day. So beautiful. So very beautiful. How I missed seeing all that Glory that each and every new day brings!

I remember many a mornings such as this one. I can remember the snow covered trees and cars as Winter's cold blast came through. I can remember the howling of the wind as it bent the tree branches to it's will. I can remember a storm that thundered and lit up the sky as the Earth was drenched in purifying water. How many times have I see  a beautiful sun appear on the horizon, shining brightly on all the greenery and lush beauty of Summer?

Can you tell how much I miss waking early in the wee morning hours? I sat there on that marble bench with that elderly lady so content and peaceful. I could have sat there all day staring out onto the streets below. Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.

Have a Blessed day everyone.


Tuesday, November 10, 2015

Simply Books

                                                   Everyday is a brand new day, everyday
                                                   is a journey.

My boycott of television during the week is still ongoing. I find that I don't miss it at all. Instead, I have been occupying that time reading.

First, let me say that I love books. Not just to read them, but to display them. I love their binding, their covers and just plain the feel of a book. I cannot even imagine reading without holding one in my hands. Books to me are to be cherished, respected and used often.

Before we moved into this tiny apartment, I had quite a collection displaying a variety of books and topics. I ended up donating the majority of them, because the size of our apartment. To this day, I regret it so much.

Since then I have begun another collection and I have to say it is growing beautifully. My hope is that in my golden years of retirement, I will be able to spend my free time reading all of them. Now, we know what happens when we make plans like that, the majority of time they never get realized. I'm hoping that my grandchildren will develop a great love of books and they can take them after I'm gone. Already my grandson shares that same love.

One of my favorite Disney Princesses happens to be Belle. Guess why? All because of the great scene where the Beast shows her the grand library. I've always loved that scene, because I understood how she felt. I hope you will find time to open up a great book and snuggle on a cozy couch.

Have a blessed day everyone.

Sunday, November 8, 2015

The Whisper In My Ear

                                         Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.

I  didn't want to go to Church today. I spent yesterday running around doing errands and before I knew it, it was over. Emily was serving both services this morning, plus a training meeting afterwards. The thought of having the apartment all to myself was so inviting.

Come on, you deserve it! The weekend is almost over and you've had no time for rest! What a perfect opportunity! Don't miss it! It's just one Sunday!

It would be so easy to listen to that voice whispering in my ear, but I can't.  It's not a good voice. It's the deceiver  and the liar. Don't be fooled.

Oh, that Holy Spirit that is living inside of me is whispering to my heart. Has God not been good to me? Has He not provided when the balance in the checking account was low? Has not that '98 Durango been starting up and running every single time? Only by His Grace am I walking around, only by His Grace.

With a heavy step and heart, off to Church I go. I'm glad I made it there. If I hadn't, I would have missed communion and the valuable lesson of the sermon. How can I start my work week with nothing to feed my soul with? What was I thinking?

Work is not sin, but because of sin work became cursed.

Have a Blessed day everyone.

Saturday, November 7, 2015

You Will Not Be A Procrastinator

                                        Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.

A tired face stared back at me in the bathroom mirror. The sun barely rose over the horizon and here I was preparing to start my day. Another thing to check off our "to do" list. I had to use all of my strength not to crawl back into bed.

You will not be a procrastinator.

We were doing so good lately in not putting things off until tomorrow even if that meant a fast-paced tempo throughout the day. We renewed our Id's at the DMV, registered for Open Enrollment for our insurance and made appointments for our flu shots. We even had time for a couple of job applications (for Emily)  right along with assessment tests.

This morning we're off for a tune up on our car and a quick coffee date with a friend. A quick coffee because my tiny apartment is once again brimming with baby blankets, hats and scarves from my Ministry ladies. We have to launder, fold and pack all the beautiful goodies for it's next destination.

You will not be a procrastinator.

Halfway through the day I want to stop and settle in for the day, but I keep reminding myself of that little promise I mentally repeat over and over again. I will not be a procrastinator.

It's so difficult to keep our energies running full-brim while the world seems to be spinning at it's fastest. We're all so tired, aren't we? Our plates never seem to be depleted, instead the opposite.

I often think about what my life in Heaven will be like. I imagine a peaceful existence where we will not hurry or run, but stroll. Imagine just strolling through paradise, taking in all the beauty around you. How lovely is that? A place where the word procrastinator will not exist.

Have a Blessed day everyone.

Friday, November 6, 2015

When The Devil Knocks

                                                          Everyday is a brand new day,
                                                            everyday is a new journey.

We never know what kind of day it will turn out to be when we awaken each morning. We get up, have coffee and a small bite to eat. We get dressed and venture out into the world.

Somewhere along the way, the devil has his own plans for you  with a completely different agenda.

An appointment gets cancelled, one that you ended up cancelling something else to make room for it in the first place.

Construction, traffic, road blocks, street cleaning, tree trimming and even traffic signal repair block your every turn as you go about your errands or on your way to work, all at once.

At work, your swamped and behind while more work is piling up. The computer goes haywire and suddenly doesn't recognize your password. Everyone has a problem and you're their solution. A headache comes on.

In the midst of it all, I turn on the radio and sing along praising our Lord. You see, I cannot allow the devil in and steal all of my joy. Too many good things have happened in my life to become embittered with ungratefulness. I cannot let the devil win, because God is just too good to me. He's going to have to work extra hard to ruin my day before I give in that easily. Not today, folks. Not today.

What is your outlet? Is it music? A walk admiring the beautiful scenery? Maybe a good book to lose ourselves in? What is your outlet in preventing from answering that knock? Use that weapon! Don't let him take what you've worked for so long and hard.

It's Friday, the weekend is upon us. Let us enjoy and bask in God's Glory. Have a Blessed day everyone.

Thursday, November 5, 2015

Throwback Thursday

                                         Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.
Uggh! Those unrelenting irritations! I believe God had me work through my cancer during this time. I think I really was too sick the first time. I needed to go through all of this to be where I am now.

Most of all, I remember feeling so very hopeless and victim-like. I had to deal with the concept of dying. That is so difficult to overcome and yet so necessary for anyone going through a chronic illness.

Getting Angry
  On Monday, I totally lost it and became so angry that I did something that I never thought I would. It started out with my car overheating as I drove Emily to work early in the morning. Once again, it was something real stupid like a rubber cap that needed to be replaced for the cost of  .99 cents. Whatever.
  From that point on nothing and I mean nothing worked. It was an escalade of events that came crashing down like a tower. I started crying  and I yelled at God. I just started yelling at Him when was He going to make this stop. When was this all going to stop already. I'm tired. What in the world could I have done for all of this to happen to me.
  You know, 5 years ago, it was different. I had so many surgeries and complications, infections etc. There were so many other things going on physically there really wasn't anytime for the mental part. Last time I was attacked physically and this time it seems I'm being attacked with my faith . I'm so overwhelmed  with all of this. My faith is strong but what happened Monday really scared me. I thought I was past that. I guess I'm not.
   I felt so alone. It took my girl to calm me down that day. She just amazed me in her attitude. My girl who is so negative at times, told me to quit stressing that God would take care of everything.
" Didn't I tell you  mom, that the car would get fixed? God took care of us. "
   I just want this to be over.

Have a blessed day everyone.

Tuesday, November 3, 2015

Low On Energy

                                         Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.

Not so in haste, my heart!
Have faith in God and wait;
Although he linger long,
He never comes too late.
Until he cometh, rest,
Nor grudge the hours that roll;
The feet that wait for God
Are soonest at the goal;
Are soonest at the goal
That is not gained by speed;
Then hold thee still, my heart,
For I shall wait his lead.
--Bayard Taylor.

I'm the type of person who thrives in the busyness of life, even though you may hear me complaining about the lack of time to accomplish tasks. I feel productive and useful when I can mark off items off the "to do" list. That's why it's so difficult for me to accept the new me with this hormone treatment.

I have had different types of treatments, each one came with totally opposite symptoms. Yet, I've never felt this sluggish, low on energy and basically immobile. I have no desire to do anything. I feel as if I'm taking a muscle relaxer or smoking a joint (without the high). All chaos could run rampart in front of me and I would probably just sit there and smile through it all.

I could sit on the couch and look out the window, watching the world go by. I literally have to force myself to get up and do something. This is so unlike me. What's worse is that I'm happy to do just that.

Now in the past, I would have gone with the flow until the treatment was over. This time it's very different. The treatment could last years, if I'm blessed. So I'm very worried that my energy level will keep going down and all the things I love to do will no longer be the goals that I can achieve.

Life seems to be ever changing, ever adapting to the different situations we come up against. Life is a constant problem solving to all the obstacles. So I'm trying very hard to find a solution to this new change in my life. I need to work, I need to volunteer and I need to continue writing.

Now take yesterday. Since it was Monday, I felt very much energized and ready to go as I walked into work. After lunch and still three more hours to go, I felt totally drained, tired and ready for bed. I couldn't wait to get home and take off my shoes. This morning, I struggled to get up at a reasonable hour. I'm not sure what will happen, but I can't fight it.

Have a Blessed day everyone.

Monday, November 2, 2015

When All Else Fails

                                          Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.

The praying spirit breathe,
The watching power impart,
From all entanglements beneath
Call off my anxious heart.
My feeble mind sustain,
By worldly thoughts oppressed;
Appear, and bid me turn again
To my eternal rest.

When all else fails. . . . stop! Stop whatever you planned on doing and give it a rest until further notice. This past Sunday that couldn't have been more true.

Coming home from Church, I quickly threw a glance into the laundry room and seeing the washing machine stand empty, I scampered up the stairs as fast as I possibly could. I wanted to do a load before someone else beat me to it. Grabbing the hamper, I lugged it downstairs only to find to my dismay that someone did.

Back and forth I went at least three times, lugging that hamper with me up and down the stairs. Each time the washing machine was in use. I gave up after that, deciding that maybe I shouldn't be doing laundry on the Sabbath in the first place.

Settled down instead to do my Health Benefits Enrollment ( it's that time of the year). My password is not accurate. Frowning I pull out my handy notebook where I keep all important information such as passwords. One cannot do anything online without a password anymore.

Once again, I have to reset my password. I don't know what it is about my job's website, but I constantly have to reset my password. It is a huge problem that I find annoying, because it shouldn't take this long and it does. The accessibility really stinks! So what happens when I finally do get the password right? Connection problems occur and the page cannot be found.

There are days where one should do absolutely nothing, but lounge around. If you even attempt to be active that day, life intervenes and problems prevent it from happening. All you have to show for accomplishment are your frayed nerves.

When all else fails, folks. . . drop everything and go watch a movie.

Have a blessed day everyone.

Sunday, November 1, 2015

A Worry-Free Sunday

                                         Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.

Said the Robin to the Sparrow:
“I should really like to know
Why these anxious human beings
Rush about and worry so?”
Said the Sparrow to the Robin:
“Friend, I think that it must be
That they have no Heavenly Father
Such as cares for you and me.”
—Elizabeth Cheney
It takes all of my strength not to worry about things. I have always been a worrier, stemming I think from my being a single mom. There was no one to share the load with and for that reason my children did get away with things, especially Emily. Looking back now, I know I could have done much, much better job than I actually have done.

Yet, letting go of the worry takes a lot of work. It all has do with trust. It's fine and dandy when things are looking great. I mean, it's easy to say I trust God when the balance on the checking account has more than a couple of digits, all the bills are paid, the children seem happy and you just got a raise.

Throw a monkey wrench into the mix at just one of these things to go wrong and suddenly we're up all night worrying. We can't help it, it comes so naturally to us worriers. I am trying very hard to just let go and allow God to take over.

As I headed out the door to Church this morning, I prayed that very same thing. It's no wonder that every single worship song dealt with leaving it at the Cross. I secretly smiled to myself. He always knows what I need, doesn't he? Where would I be without His guidance, His protection and His forgiveness? I don't even want to think about it.

So today, I'm a good daughter of His, leaving it at the Cross, but who knows what tomorrow will bring? One day at a time. One step at a time. Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.

Have a blessed day everyone.

Yarn Bombing My Life

                            Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey. Some murmur if their sky is clear, And wholly bright ...