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Showing posts from October, 2016

The Reading List 2

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My Earliest Memory

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Everyday is a brand new day,
                                                       everyday is a journey.

The three small children ran through the farm fields, happily laughing, their blond hair glistening in the Summer sunshine. All around them the golden rods of wheat swayed gently amidst the breeze of the day. 

That's my earliest memory of my brothers and I. How old were we? I'm not sure, but I had to be younger than seven. That's how old I was when we arrived in the United States. You see, that memory was of a time in Poland where we lived on a farm.

Why that scene has been etched in my mind, I can only speculate on it's meaning. It could be the freedom as children we experienced. The only responsibility we had was to keep our rooms clean, respect our parents and do our homework. We were together, often bickering about who's turn it was to do a particular chore. That's the life of a child.

I wish I could say I…

This Is Now

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Everyday is a brand new day,
                                                    everyday is a journey.

These past few weeks, my mind has been centered on my grandmother Bernice back in Poland. Even though this time should have been spent celebrating her 97th birthday, it turned out to be more bittersweet than we anticipated. You see, my grandmother Bernice is in her last days here on Earth. 

It breaks my heart to see a woman who has made such a huge impact on my life as well as my children, suffer. We imagine death to be a peaceful act of someone simply closing their eyes, taking a deep breath and passing on. Unfortunately, it isn't always so. I've seen a grown man with tears rolling down his cheeks in pain as he lay dying. There are some who pass quietly in their sleep just as my Uncle has a few years ago. Either way, death is not pleasant nor should it be.

We should be made to FEEL something. When I saw pictures of my grandma…

When We're Wronged

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Everyday is a brand new day,
                                                       everyday is a journey.


One of the hardest things to do is to pick ourselves up when our whole world crumbles. There is a feeling welling up inside of us that we cannot, could not ever possibly rise up from this rejection. Rejection, because that's basically what it is, a rejection of our deepest desire. 

There are so many of my friends that have gone through heart wrenching and painful moments in their lives where someone hurt them deeply. It could be a husband or wife, who has betrayed and left the family home. Or a father/daughter relationship that has struggled for way too long. How about the two friends whose relationship broke in half due to something no one can even remember any longer. Unforgiveness can eat away all our JOY leaving us with nothing, but with bitterness and emptiness. 

To all those who have been hurt and unable to forgive, let…

Here We Go Again

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Everyday is a brand new day,
                                                     everyday is a journey. 


Negativity generates and breathes anger.

There was a time where I loved to watch reality television. One thing I can tell you is that when these people fought, they fought with everything within them. It would be violent with a lot of throwing things and ripping out their hair. Another thing I noticed was that they never acknowledged their part in any of the fights. Everything was the other persons fault, usually followed by expletives. 

Look at the picture above. You can see the house reflected in the water perfectly. It's the same when we glance in the mirror and see our reflection in it. A real smart sister-in-Christ once told me the first thing we all need to do when addressing a situation is to accept our part in it. No one can take the entire 100 percent of fault. Acknowledge your part. Once you do that, I guarantee you will see and handle things differently. 

Back to the rea…

Oh, That F Word

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Everyday is a brand new day,
                                                                 everyday is a journey.

Lately, it seems that I cannot go anywhere or open a book or devotion without some reference to forgiveness. At first, I would skim over it, really dismissing it's contents, because I have no need for forgiveness. I dealt with what I needed to a very long time ago.

We all think that, don't we? You know that's a lie. The problem is that I do have issues, ones I thought I let go. I think, in a way, we always have something ranging from the minimal to the major. I, myself, have been harboring issues in regard to my old Church, my Ministry and even some of my family. Even though I have forgiven these offenses, I haven't been able to let go of them. Everything would seem fine and then suddenly we run into that person or see them on social media only to evoke these emotions once again. Talk about re-…

My Heart Is There!

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There is nothing more beautiful these days than the colorful changing of the leaves. When the weather shifts, becoming colder and windier, we enjoy hearty soups and all things pumpkin! The desire to burrow down in our comfy abodes for the long haul of Winter is strong. After the busyness of Summer, we're ready to just relax.
Already my mind is fluttering away like mad with ideas for all indoor projects. Even in my Ministry, we collect donations of yarn like little squirrels hiding their precious nuts. Winter time is spent crocheting more items than any other Season, usually donating to several charitable organizations per month. Yes, it's a busy time for my Ministry. 
There's also our hearts. They, too, need a time of preparation for the upcoming months. Just think of all the Holidays that we celebrate during this time. We have a harvest where we give thanks for the past year for both the good and the bad. That's what Thanksgiving is all about. Then we have Jesus' …

Under Construction

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Everyday is a brand new day,
                                                       everyday is a journey.


I dislike construction! It seems we cannot go anywhere without a roadblock or deter posted preventing any further movement in our designated path. Or the process is incredibly slow. It is told that Ruth Graham's gravestone bears the words Under Construction: Thanks For Your Patience. Such a wise woman. I hope I show such wisdom as I grow older.

I've spent this weekend basically on my own as Emily went zip lining with her friend Jan in Rockford. When I'm alone the apartment is super quiet as I go about my daily chores. Therefore, my brain is in overload analyzing and brainstorming on everything going on in our life. 

I've found out something about myself. When change happens or a new plan is set in motion, I have no problem grabbing it with both hands. I'm all on board with whatever needs to be done as long as…

The Table

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Everyday is a brand new day,
                                                       everyday is a journey.

Before I joined the company I work for, I worked at the corporate headquarters of a well-known franchise. I have two very distinctive memories that spring to mind whenever I think of them. 

The first was the aroma of freshly ground, freshly brewed coffee whenever one stepped into their cafeteria. That delicious, rich smell I have never been able to find outside of the corporate building, not even in one of their stores. 

The second involved the CEO's desk. His desk was immaculate, with absolutely no clutter of any kind. Whenever one would pass by his office, he would have one sheet or folder on his desk. He believed that one could only work on one thing at a time. It's easy to guess that he didn't care for clutter.

I am nowhere near his style of working. If anything, I'm the total polar opposite. I have piles upon…

October Q & A

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Everyday is a brand new day, everyday
                                                 is a journey.

One would think that with all the sharing I do on this blog about my life, people would have nothing to ask me in person. On the contrary, people want updates. So here we go!

1. What is going on with your Tiny House?
My tiny house situation has been put on hold for now. There is nothing more that I would love than to buy a THOW (tiny house on wheels), move to Decatur by my son, and live out the remainder of my days doing ministry work. This is how I see my retirement. I don't plan on stopping to smell the roses, but plan on being active for as long as possible. I am so close to being able to retire from my company with full benefits that it would be silly of me to throw all that away. 

From time to time, you will see me posting a picture of a Tiny house, especially one with a layout I love. Recently, a friend found a THOW company locate…

Life Happens

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Everyday is a brand new day,
                                                       everyday is a journey.

Life has a way of repeating itself from generation to generation. I often think about the similarities from my grandmother's time to the present. Were her struggles the same as mine? We carry so much baggage around. Does that baggage continue it's journey through the ancestry pool? Were their lives any different from ours? Can we honestly say our lives are much better now?

Life happens so quickly. We grow up, get a job, get married, have children. Some of us end up divorced or widowed or in a broken relationship. The children are grown and we find ourselves alone. Life happens quickly.

What do we do then? If you are anything like me, you're always looking for that something else, for that next thing in my life. I mean, we have lived and done all the important things on our list, but what comes next?

My mind has been …

Taking A Break

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Everyday is a brand new day,
                                                       everyday is a journey.

This year has certainly been a year consumed with my health. From February until September, it has been all about my cancer. I've spent one appointment after another with various doctors and treatments. I am tired. I jokingly made a comment to my radiation doctor that I wasn't planning on seeing anyone until January of next year. He didn't think it was funny. 

When it comes to my health, he need not have worried. I do take care of myself and keep all appointments. I understand the importance of doing so. I just wanted to take a small break and focus on other things. There's only two or three months left and January will be here. Then the cycle will begin anew. 

I feel as if my life has been on hold all this time. Is it any wonder that I want to think and breathe something else? Take today, for instance. It's…

All Wrapped Up

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Everyday is a brand new day,
                                                       everyday is a journey.

I've been so wrapped up in my next bold step that I've allowed it to consume me completely. I've lived and breathed that project to the point where it became my idol. Everything else piled high in a dark corner somewhere as if not important. 

Every project we begin, starts with a fire within us. That same fire burns deeply and brightly infusing our souls with a fervor to get moving. We dare not miss a single Sunday of Church. We make sure we tithe exactly 10 percent of our income. We make a prayer list of how we want the project to turn out. Heck, we even do an altar call the very next Sunday for discernment with our eyes and ears. We do all that, because we expect it all to happen now.

It is very unrealistic to think it will be an overnight sensation. The minute things begin to stretch, we begin to doubt ourselves,…

A Proud Moment

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Everyday is a brand new day,
                                                        everyday is a journey.

As parents, we know our children better than anyone else. We know their faults and their strengths. We also have a mountain of hope for them especially when they fall down and disappoint us. I was very blessed to be a parent of children who didn't party hardy, drink or smoke or partake in drugs, or break the curfew. I was extremely blessed in that respect, but as normal everyday people, they had their faults. 

Both Emily and Joey had their one problem that followed them throughout their growing years. Many of nights I've spent on my knees begging and praying to God for them to overcome their faults. As I've said before, I love being a parent of grown children. I can now enjoy the fruits of all that labor. Don't ever give up on your children. Don't ever stop praying for them. Don't ever think they'…

The Next Bold Step

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Everyday is a brand new day,
                                                      everyday is a journey.

In all fairness, I have to admit this next bold step of mine has been proving more difficult than I expected. I didn't think it would be. I honestly thought this would be the easiest of them all. I'm sure you can imagine my frustration and surprise when one obstacle after an another has been placed in my way. I'm beginning to think it might not happen or maybe it was never meant to happen? Nah! It will take a little longer, that's all.

I like things to go according to plan, methodically and efficiently for all the pieces to fall into place. Remember, I over analyze everything? Everything is ready, except for that one final piece. 

It's hard to wait, isn't it? It's like that question mark that Beth Moore spoke about at the conference. Imagine drawing one, the first curve we make is the very beginning. I…

Just Fine

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Everyday is a brand new day,
                                                        everyday is a journey.

I've been in a Proverbs 31 Bible study with Lysa TerKeurst's Uninvited. She asked a very particular question last Friday.  Are you good at faking fine? I fake fine every single day. No other words come out of my mouth. There are a select few who will hear me tell the truth about how I'm feeling and only then briefly. 

In fact, I can remember a time back during my first bout with cancer, when a friend called. She asked me how I felt and I told her . . . . . the entire truth. It was a bad time in my recovery or should I say lack of recovery. She thought I had lost my will to live and had all our friends call me to make sure I didn't take my life. 

That was a horrible feeling I never want to experience again. I don't tell people how I truly feel for that reason. People who don't have cancer have this beli…

A Poem

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Everyday is a brand new day, 
                                                   everyday is a journey.
Today I took a mental walk 
along the dusty cobwebs of
things long ago.
I did not cry, vent or rejoice
as I watched from above 
flashes of events that tugged
at my heart so.
I stood at all the crossroads
some I deliberated long
 and some not at all.
Each turn and bend a new 
memory etched forever on
my soul.
Did I do wrong? 
Should I have said no?
Why did I do that?
I could have done so much
more!
The easy and painless memories 
so quickly erased,
 their existence gone.
The dark and brooding, 
the unforgiving ones locked
away in a vault to be opened
frequently on dark foreboding
nights where pity reigns.
Why do we go there?
Why visit at all?
Only painful and sorrowful 
memories live there
all alone.
I walk among these shadows
one last time,
 saying my farewells
to be locked away 
where no one dwells!

Have a blessed day everyone.

The Best Days

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Everyday is a brand new day,
                                                       everyday is a journey.

It's funny how much we change as we get older. I can remember a time when I was young, energetic and full of spunk. I could stay up all night, lay down for a two hour nap and run off to work like it was nothing. Nowadays, I'm lucky if I stay up past eleven at night. 
When the weekend rolled near, plans were made that involved actually leaving the house. Always on the look out for some fun thing to do.

I feel like I've done a complete 360 degree. None of the above interests me at all. Now, my best days involve doing absolutely nothing. I guess, that's the first real signs of being old.

This morning as I prepared for Church, I happily realized there was no place in particular I had to be at after the service. No errand to run. No social gathering of any kind. I could joyfully skip home, get into my comfy, mismatche…

Rah, Rah, Go Pink!

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Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.


It is a well known fact that my place of work (Avon) donates tons of money to breast cancer every year. We hold fundraiser after fundraiser and even select October as the breast cancer awareness month where we wear pink every Friday in support. 

In fact, one can see the famous breast cancer pink symbol everywhere. There are several types of merchandise ranging from water bottles to license plate holders. One can even ride in a pink taxi as a show of support. Let's not forget the numerous 5K Walks sponsored every year by various organizations. Breast cancer awareness and fundraisers have come a long way. 

That's wonderful, but what about all the other cancers out there? How come we don't see anything for the lung, the throat or even mine (ovarian)? Sometimes, I feel a real frustration when fellow co-workers inquire why I'm not wearing pink on Friday. I mean, I'm wearing teal …

Signs, Signs, Everywhere Signs

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Everyday is a brand
                                                                  new day, everyday is
                                                                  a journey.

Sign, sign, everywhere a sign
Blockin' out the scenery, breakin' my mind
Do this, don't do that, can't you read the sign?
By: Five Man Electrical Band

Do you remember that song "Signs"? There are signs everywhere and we look to them to show us what to do or where to go. Some of us can't make a move without a sign in our lives. When I was in high school, I would look for signs from boys, mood rings, astrology and even the body language of others.

I'm so glad I grew away from all of that and really leaned  toward following Christ. He's all the "signs" I need. I find that a lot of people seek signs for guidance and the excuse they provide. For instance, we stop because the sign tells us to. We make a…

The Pitiful Pit

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Everyday is a brand new
                                                              day, everyday is a journey.


We all have a pity pit, don't we? Joyce Meyer's had one made for the stage. She filled it with pictures of family and friends who have hurt her, past and present. In reality, her pit was the bathroom where she would lock herself away feeling sorry for herself, hating on all these people. 

My pit consisted of locking myself away in my room, usually at night while everyone was asleep. This way no one disturbed my pity party. I would turn on sob music, mostly country. Then I would pour myself a glass of wine (it only takes one glass to put me to sleep) and cry my little heart out. In my pity party, I became the martyr and everyone else the villain.  By the time morning rolled in, I was fine. My pity time didn't last too long.

What does yours look like? Where do you hang out with pity? Do you have a ritual…

Who Told You That?!

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Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.

I didn't come here to be fixed overnight. I came here to be filled with the Word of God. That's what I kept telling myself at the conference. I've done several of Beth Moore Bible studies, so I looked forward to hearing her speak. I wasn't disappointed. As usual, Beth dished out homework by having us answer the following questions pertaining to our current life status. 

1. Where are you now?
I am tired, physically and mentally. I feel as if the radiation took away from me five entire weeks of life. My life ceased for that time  only consisting of eating, sleeping, radiation and work, leaving me exhausted in the process. All that work just for it to come back next year. I laid in bed this morning willing myself to get up and face the day. On the outside, everyone keeps telling me how wonderful I look and how healthy. What they don't realize is that an attitude is a choice. I …

En Route

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Everyday is a
                                                                      brand new day,
                                                                     Everyday is a
                                                                      journey.

People know me so well. Coming home from my retreat, right away there are messages inquiring what I have taken away with me from this trip. They know I will share this experience with all of you. 

I had no particular expectation of my take away going in, but I did pray about it. As Beth Moore said at the conference, whatever this experience is offering I want it all. I felt completely the same. I am open to whatever they are giving out and let's see how it looks on me when I come out the other end.

My trip did not start well or at least the part concerning my health. I did not sleep a wink the night before since I was afraid of not waking up on time. I had to…

The Thirst Is Real

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Everyday is a brand new day,
                                                     everyday is a journey.

There comes a point in our spiritual walk where we are thirsty for a more in depth study of the word of God. We are no longer satisfied being fed milk and are craving real grownup food.
Simple Gospel 
Simple Grace

Isn't that the truth? There does come a time where one is looking for that something extra that can only come from God. Having just come off another bout with cancer, I find myself searching for that something special. It just seemed as if I've become so drained during this recovery. I needed to feel revitalized spiritually, mentally and physically. One can only do that on a retreat.

Having agreed to go with a group of wonderful ladies to the Joyce Meyer's Conference way back in February, I couldn't believe how appropriately the date fell right after the completion of my treatment. It must have been God orda…