Showing posts from August, 2017

2016 Treatment

Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.

How awful is the thought of the wonders underground,
Of the mystic changes wrought in the silent, 
dark profound!
How each thing upward tends by necessity decreed,
And the world's support depends on the shooting of a seed! The summer's in her ark, 
and this sunny-pinioned day
Is commissioned to remark whether Winter holds her sway:
Go back, thou dove of peace, 
with myrtle on thy wing,
Say that floods and tempests cease, 
and the world is ripe for Spring. --Horace Smith.

177.50 dollars in parking 43 visits to U.I.C. 512 miles ONE WAY
I sat at my desk, calculator in front of me, as I prepared my taxes. Was this really my year? Did I really do all those miles last year? Was it really 43 visits to the clinic? It's hard to imagine, but that was my life last year. Doctors, surgery, treatments ruled my life for almost 6 months. 

Imagine what it would have looked like if it was an ongoing illness …

The Workday

Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey. 

Discouraged in the work of life, 
Disheartened by its load, 
Shamed by its failures or its fears, 
I sink beside the road;-- 
But let me only think of Thee, 
And then new heart springs up in me. 

No where else do we spend so much of our time as in the workplace. We love, hate and gossip there more than anywhere else. Many people find love, have affairs and break up over and over again right in the workplace. I should know, I had a few of my own. In my youth, that is. 

Yet, it is one of my major struggles. I've been there for over 22 years and I guess there are no more surprises or challenges for me. I'm tired. I'm bored and I'm ready to leave. I always thought I would retire like everyone else at the ripe age of social security. I don't know if I can last that long.

Everyday I hear my fellow co-workers speak disparagingly about our work life. Hones…

The Handbook

Everyday is a brand new day,                  
                                                                                 everyday is a journey. 

Lord, we have wandered forth through doubt and sorrow,
    And Thou hast made each step an onward one;
  And we will ever trust each unknown morrow,--
    Thou wilt sustain us till its work is done.

Every year by my work, we are given a handbook on all the policies the company stands for and ones we have to abide by as associates. A sort of list of rules from the Company. It took me a very long time to realize that life has a guidebook as well to living fully. It's the Bible. I can actually see the grimace on your face, but it's true. 

Before I became a believer, whenever I heard a Christian say something like that or similar, I'd roll my eyes. It would drive me crazy, because I did not understand. How could the Bible, that is filled with a…

The Tent City Project

Everyday is a brand new day,
                                                            everyday is a journey.

Twas doing nothing was his curse—
Is there a vice can plague us worse?
The wretch who digs the mine for bread,
Or plows, that others may be fed,
Feels less fatigue than that decreed
To him who cannot think, or read.
Not all the peril of temptations,
Not all the conflict of the passions,
Can quench the spark of Glory's flame,
Or quite extinguish Virtue's name. —Hannah More.
It wasn't my idea to go out onto the streets where the homeless dwell. I don't have the guts, the bravery to go where we witness the desolate. I prefer to be like the countless out there, serving the poor from afar. Luckily, one of my ladies feels the need to be out there in her community. Not everyone is afraid to get their hands dirty. Thank goodness for that. 

This project has been in progress for over 5 1/2 months. A lot of work went into …

My Daily Coffee Break

Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.

A cup of java has certainly changed over the years. In fact, it's hard to find a place where one can get an ordinary cup of coffee. Yes, just black or with cream. Nowadays, a cup of coffee has a fanciful name attached to it. You can have a French Kiss or a Mocha Latte or an Americano. For me, I'll stick with a plain cup of coffee with cream and sugar. 

One thing that hasn't changed is our need for a daily coffee break. We all have separate reasons for needing that moment of peace and quiet to ourselves. We make sure we make that time to read a book, bask in the sunshine of Summer and even get a manicure. Yet, we can't find the time to spend time with our Savior.

We spend so much time living in guilt. We keep going over and over in our minds what could have been, should have been and a whole bunch of only ifs. Fear truly holds us hostage and keeps us fro…

The Life Of A Recluse

Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.

When the lamp is shattered
The light in the dust lies dead--
When the cloud is scattered
The rainbow's glory is shed.
When the lute is broken
Sweet tones are remembered not;
When the lips have spoken
Loved accents are soon forgot. --Percy Bysshe Shelley.
The life of a recluse has never been more appealing to me than now. Who wouldn't want to hide away from the world, especially now when it has been so full of negativity. Everyone seems to be so full of anger toward one another, even people who claim to be your friends. Often we see on social media, our friends taking a break from the everyday barrage of news. I don't want to be arguing socialism, racism, the right to choose and the right to express my faith. I don't want to fight. I just want to live with everyone in peace. 

I wish everyone else felt the same.

There are people out there who view retirement as something that happens…

The Best Of Six

Everyday is a brand new day,
                                                           everyday is a journey.

The tissue of the life to be,
We weave with colors all our own
And in the field of Destiny
We reap as we have sown. --Raphael.
So we have been living here in our new apartment now for almost five months. In that time, we have had many good times and also some let downs. Here is our list of the good, the bad and the ugly. 

Top Six Best
1. I love coming home from work within ten minutes. You can't beat that, especially on those hard nights where your feet ache and you can't wait to get home. 

2. I love waking up to the sounds of birds chirping. Every ten buildings or so have their own courtyard with benches, an area to barbecue and a small path usually used by dog walkers. I make it sound like a huge place, but on the contrary, it's small and secluded. On the weekends, children fill the courtyard with their laughter.…

Spiritual Gifts

Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.

Plant in us an humble mind,
Patient, pitiful, and kind;
Meek and lowly let us be,
Full of goodness, full of Thee.

According to my Pastor, we all have three spiritual gifts. Two of these gifts are extremely easy for us, but the third, that's the one that depletes us. Do you know you're spiritual gifts? My three, in the exact order, are: my blog, my crocheting ministry and my servitude/duty. 

I love writing and never realized just how much until I began this blog back in 2011. It's not something that is a hardship in anyway, but I feel I have to write about my journey with cancer, spirituality and my role in it. I originally began writing for my children, but ended up continuing this blog to inform people about life with cancer. I was so uninformed and naive when first diagnosed that I didn't want others to feel the same way. There are many hurting pe…

A Bird Of Any Other Name

Everyday is a brand new day, 
                                                                         everyday is a journey.

Are you a night owl or an early bird? It was this question posed by an old friend that sent me off into reflection. It seems that nowadays it doesn't take much for me to go off into lala land. Boy, am I getting old!

I, no longer am able to stay up all night nor exist on just four hours of sleep. I like my sleep. I need my sleep. I think back to my youth and wonder mystically how in the world did I stay up all night and work the next day existing on a few hours of sleep. Those days are gone.

I need rest and plenty of it. Some could say that my cancer has worn out my body and I believe it could be true. My age has definitely something to do with it, too. There is a difference in me since my last treatment. I have slowed down quite a bit.

Although, there is a distant part of me that longs for …

That Yellow Post It Note

Everyday is a brand new day,
                                                         everyday is a journey.

The seed ye sow another reaps,
The wealth ye find another keeps,
The robe ye weave another wears,
The arms ye forge another bears. --Percy Bysshe Shelley.

I found myself this morning, rummaging around in my small file boxes looking for my vacation schedule. The things I find in the process! Old notes and letters that I've held onto for whatever important reason at that time. Now it just escapes me. It was there, among all these so called important papers that a small post it note stared up at me.

I have nothing left, but my tears. 

My own handwriting. What on earth could have been happening to me during that time to evoke such a heart wrenching sentence? There was no date and I definitely have no recollection of writing it. Yet, I know it is mine.

It would be normal to assume it had to be written during one of my treatments, b…

Just Plain Bitter

Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.

Was the trial sore?
Temptation sharp? 
Thank God a second time!
Why comes temptation but for a man to meet
And master and make crouch beneath his foot,
And so be pedestaled in triumph? 
Pray"Lead us into no such temptations, Lord!
"Yea, but, O thou whose servants are the bold,
Lead such temptations by the head and hair,
Reluctant dragons, up to who dares fight
That so he may do battle and have praise. --Robert Browning
You know, if I didn't get cancer, I'd be pretty bitter. Bitter at the world. Bitter at my life. Bitter at my family and friends. Just plain bitter. 

Bitterness needs to be spit out as soon as possible. You can tell right away when you have it. It sort of just sits there in the pit of your belly. Spit it out quickly before wrath settles in and begins to smolder. Wrath is like coal where all it needs is a small ember to fuel that anger and bitterness. Next thing you know…

The Five Year Plan: The Outline

Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.

Be useful where thou livest, that they may
Both want and wish thy pleasing presence still;
Kindness, good parts, great places are the way
To compass this. Find out men's wants and will,
And meet them there. All worldly joys go less
To the one joy of doing kindnesses.
--George Herbert.

I have been writing and talking about my desire for Tiny Living for over a year now. As my retirement looms in the not too distant future, I find myself contemplating the different options available to me. In five years, I will be eligible to walk away from my Company with full benefits and suddenly, that dream doesn't seem so distant any longer. 

Five years may seem like a lot and not, depending on how one looks at it. When one is busy living, those five years can fly by in a heartbeat. Would we be ready for that transition? Do we have the necessary supplies, finances, equipment and knowledge …


Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.

If there were dreams to sell,
Merry and sad to tell,
And the crier rang the bell,
What would you buy? A cottage lone and still
With bowers nigh,
Shadowy, my woes to still,
Until I die.
Such pearl from 
Life's fresh crown
Fain would I shake me down,
Were dreams to have at will
This would best heal my ill,
This would I buy. --Thomas Lovell Beddoes.
Being thankful is easy when things are looking bright, but how do you become thankful when times are thirsty and dry? We all have been there in both situations. When we are in our dry spell, we forget about all the great things God has done for us. The same goes when it's vice versa. I'm sure my post would have been much different in the dry spell. That's just the truth. 

Remember that saying misery loves company? It truly does. Whenever I'm having a really bad day, I never know when to stop it. I just keep piling on the negativity until it su…