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Showing posts from February, 2014

I, Woman

"Mom , do you think it's immature of me to call other women at Church my Auntie or Mommy ? "

Absolutely not !! Are we not daughters of Eve ? So , she considers these women her role models / mentors , why would that be considered immature ?

We need fellow women encouraging each other in this generation . There are far too many jealousies , bickering and insecurities that women harbor toward other women . We all have been those women . I have been there and done that and I'm over it . 

Women have been competing with each other since Eve took the first bite and we have been laying our sin at her doorstep ever 
since . Yes , she placed us on this path , but do we have to continue on it ? 

Being a woman is difficult  and we need to support each other as we face these struggles . Our emotions take us on a never ending roller coaster ride , wouldn't we want someone who has been there to help us get off that ride ? Who knows a woman's struggle better than another woman . 

Throwback Thursday

Here we are again , my friends , with another Throwback Thursday upon us . They sure come upon us pretty fast , don't they ? Today's story deals with the famous question , " Are you angry with 
God ? " 

This was very tough for me , because I really believed I was healed physically . I've come to realize that there are many kinds of healing that have nothing to do with the physical , but are more spiritual . I've always been scared of dying and that was the issue I had to address regarding my cancer the second time around .

I honestly believe that we all experience a time where we are angry with God . We have to address it , analyze it , see what lies beneath it  and shelf it . Since this blog began during my second  bout with cancer , this was the underlying theme behind it . 

Now , I am no longer afraid of my illness nor of death . In a way , I almost welcome it . To me , it is yet another stage of life we must get through before Paradise . I'm looking forwa…

Doing The Lassie

Coming home last night from work , I was greeted at the door
 by Diamond . She never greets me , only loving her Emily . My very first thought : I caught her doing something she shouldn't be doing . 

After going about my nightly routine before bed , I settled in with a blanket I was crocheting . Behind my bedroom door commotion ensued with Diamond jumping around , meowing the entire time . What on earth is she doing ?

Suddenly , she starts scratching at my bedroom door , something she has never done and I jump up alarmed . Frantically , I open the door  and she runs off , stops to see if I'm coming , and runs off again . 

What's wrong Diamond ?

She meows again and I proceed into the living room . The room is in total disarray with the afghan  and remote thrown on the floor . Cushions and books knocked down . Emily's precious XBOX 360 all askew . Panic settles inside me and I turn to Diamond .

What's happened Diamond ? Is Emily alright ? 

She meows and wags her cat tail , …

The Author Within

The author within me has been lurking around , searching for a way to burst forth in a book . I think we all have that childhood dream of writing a Best Seller , or becoming a model or actress , anything famous . 

How do authors begin ? Do they pop out a story suddenly out of thin air ? Or do they take years of researching , writing and editing their story line ? 

I wish I knew , because there is an author within me . I have that desire to write , for no other reason than for myself . I don't need to be famous or wealthy . I just want to be able to write one , to know that I can write one . 

There is an image I have of myself , being secluded in a secret hideaway from everyone and just writing nonstop . Who hasn't had a desire to sneak away from life and not worry about finances or work , only to live out their fantasies . 

There is another image of myself sitting in front of a computer and not being able to write anything . Imagine  finally getting to that cabin or private place …

Simply Young

Glancing at the calendar , it was no surprise to me to see that February was almost over . I have been feeling rushed these past few weeks with the days slipping by pretty fast and not enough time to do all the things I wanted to . 

I am not sorry , though . I'd rather have my calendar over- flowing with tasks and gatherings , than be sitting around feeling lonely or bored . I just don't understand boredom . Loneliness  yes , but boredom never . There's always something to do  . 

Whenever  I invite someone to join my Crocheting Ministry or tell them about my blog , I receive the same attitude : How wonderful , but who has time to sit around knitting or writing . 

Please , don't say that to someone . I find it insulting , to say the least , especially when someone is pursuing a dream or passion of theirs . Believe me , no one is just sitting around doing nothing . I do majority of my crocheting in the waiting rooms of America , during lunch or watching the telly . Some of …

Throwback Thursday

Every week , as I embark on the nextstory of my past , I'm flooded with memories . . . . some good and some not so good . I remember the following story quite well . Going through cancer the second time was a very distressing time for me . I honestly believed I would die and had to deal with my mortality . Every person dealing with a chronic illness has to accept death as a friend instead of as an enemy . I have seen too many patients refusing this stage of their life , only to be miserable and depressed during the entire illness , wasting precious time with loved ones . My future is still a blank page , all except for the last page , my destination . . . . . Heaven . 


A Blank Page   Sat down to write my daily blog and my mind went blank just like the page in front of me.What I planned to write suddenly I couldn't remember.I guess God had other plans for me.
   All day today I walked around with a smile on my face and a happy retort on my lips.Everyone I ran into gave me hugs a…

A Refresher In Store

Turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord.Acts 3:19
How is my renewal going ? There are changes happening evident to others more than to me . I haven't felt a huge change so far , more of a slow renewal , step by step .
That first week , I felt my life spinning so fast with no time for anything . I went from one appointment to the next and then straight to work with no break for myself . It felt chaotic and I need order and stability where I can feel my feet firmly placed on the ground . 
People saw the changes in me before I did . They made remarks on how much calmer I seem , more carefree . They have caught me humming to myself while working . I look rested , healthier  and happier . This has been the first time in a very long time that I am not going to work feeling tired .
This week , I am concentrating on developing a routine of some sorts to follow . I believe , that once I have accomplished that feat , everything will follo…

The Insane Asylum

My neighbors drive me insane ! This is the first time in two years that we have not had someone move away and I think that's the problem . Too much of each other under foot .

These same loving people that I have written about in the past have started to irk me . What is it about living under the same roof with others that can test a person's nature ? Why can't we as humans get along ? Why do the silliest things set us off in a fit of rage ?

Does it really matter if they leave their clothes in the washer/dryer all day ? Does it matter if the front door is closed shut ? Does it really matter if they double park their cars ? Does it really matter if they bang around upstairs at all hours of the night ? 

One may say , it's common courtesy and it should matter . People should keep the doors locked to ensure the safety of themselves and others  . People should think of others when it's night and try to keep the noise level down , the same goes with parking .

The fact is , th…

The Story Of My Life Pt.3

High school brought on many changes in my life . My older brother got married to an " American " and I became an Aunt to two little girls . Suddenly , we were exposed to other cultures ,  styles and foods.

Almost overnight , we became Americanized adapting easily since we desperately wanted to belong . The " greenhorns " were gone and we accepted all the changes with gusto .

The most significant change occurred from within . At the age of fourteen , I spent my summer in Poland with my maternal grandparents  on their farm , a life changing experience .

I think of that time with such love and tenderness , reconnecting not only with my grandparents , but also with nature . I stood in awe of life on the farm . 

I saw the brown eggs from the hens and tasted the warm milk straight from the cow . I learnt how butter was made and turned out in a jello mode every morning . I fed the ducks and led the cows to pasture daily . I woke up at four in the morning and went to bed at ni…

Throwback Thursday

Welcome to Throwback Thursday ! Today's story is an ongoing one to this day . I am so grateful to have people in my life  who continuously pray for me , look for cures for me and have Faith that my cancer will stay in remission . As much as I may kid around about these home remedies , I appreciate the fact that people love me that much .  

Home Remedy #396       When my doctor informed me that my cancer might be back....I didn't tell anyone .I kept it to myself.Kept telling myself that there was no need to worry anyone until we knew for sure.But thats not the real reason.
     The truth is I didn't feel I could handle everyone coming at me.Don't get me wrong.People really mean well.They really do.I was in no physical shape to handle them.I was the emotional wreck.I still am.
    People feel they need to HELP you in some way.I cannot tell you all the home remedies I have been given to cure this cancer.I should drink beet juice,eat cabbage and my favorite.......... Milk Th…

A Tree

I'm not sure about you , but I have been thinking about Spring . I miss the sun and the warmth it provides . To me , Spring represents Rebirth and right now , we need a Rebirth ! One sign of Spring are the buds on trees and the beautiful way they blossom . Here's one of my favorite poems about a tree  by Joyce Kilmer . 

I THINK that I shall never seeA poem lovely as a tree.A tree whose hungry mouth is prestAgainst the sweet earth's flowing breast;A tree that looks at God all day,         5And lifts her leafy arms to pray;A tree that may in summer wearA nest of robins in her hair;Upon whose bosom snow has lain;Who intimately lives with rain.  10Poems are made by fools like me,But only God can make a tree.

Have a Blessed week everyone .

CARS

Walking into the Auto Repair Shop , I was faced with a very familiar 
scene . Looking around the waiting room , all the men sat there wearing the traditional gray and navy colors they are known for . Men , very rarely , wear color . 

Another observation : Men are extremely impatient . They kept fidgeting , shifting positions and glancing at their watches . Some even kept badgering the poor woman ,frequently asking , " how much longer " . None of them brought anything with them to occupy their time . 

I dislike taking my car in for any type of work . This is where I wish I was married . This would be his job . That's what I need a husband for .......to take the car in . I will drive the vehicle and he can take care of it . I think this  is fair . 

Cars have been an enigma all of my driving life . I have no idea what makes them tick , I just want to drive them . 

Last summer I had my accident , which produced a tiny broken speck on my windshield . Nothing to worry about  until …

The Story Of My Life Pt. 2

There are people out there who can remember every small detail of their entire life from birth to present . I am not one of those
 people . I think it's mainly because my mind blocks out all the unpleasant memories and tries to focus on the Joy . 

I WANT TO REMEMBER THE JOY .

I was born on January 16 , 1965 on a Saturday morning . I was the product of my parent's reconciliation after being almost 2 years separated . Even though I was the second child , my dad wasn't around for my older brother's birth . In a way , I was his first experience . 

One would think that since my dad missed out on so much with his first child , he would make an effort to be a great dad , but that wasn't the case . He was raised to be distant , not showing 
emotion , and was described as the original mama's boy . 

My mom , on the other hand , made up for anything my dad wasn't providing emotionally . I have many  happy memories of my brothers , myself and our mom spending time together .…

Throwback Thursday

Throwback Thursday is almost as famous as Hump Day ! For a long time now , I have wanted to go back to the beginning of my blogs and sort of do an update on where I am now . Something that would  be featured every Thursday from now on . 

Since I have erased , by mistake , the very first blog , we will have to start with number two " Hello Linda " posted Friday October 14 , 2011 .

Hello Linda     We all experience a moment where we have to do an unpleasant task.It could be unpleasant for many reasons.I have an unpleasant task set before me today.Can't put it off any longer.
     I have to tell my friend Linda that my cancer is back.Its particularly difficult because Linda is also fighting cancer at this time.What is even more ironic is the fact that we fought cancer the first time together also.I have been keeping this a SECRET  from her since I found out 6 weeks ago.
    Linda's cancer came back a few months ago and she took comfort in knowing I was okay.This will be a h…

The Importance Of Hair

Majority of my life has been spent not caring about my hair . I didn't believe in wasting time primping , curling or styling any of it . My head was always " wash and wear " ready and I couldn't understand why anyone would spend so much time fixing their hair in the mornings . 

That was then .

When I lost my hair in 2007 , I was devastated . Gone were the long eyelashes that I have been known for and so were the eyebrows . I was completely bald from my head to my toes . I would joke that I looked like  a plucked chicken , but on the inside , I was crying . 

I felt utterly ugly and suddenly , I understood why women groom their hair every morning . It makes us feel beautiful . We want to look beautiful , not so much for others , as for ourselves . Hair took on an important air . 

The second time I lost my hair , I tried to disguise my appearance by wearing hats and scarves in imaginative ways . When my niece was getting married , I spent months leading to the event worried…

The Story Of My Life

It has become therapeutic to write the story of our life . 
Nowadays , if we enter Recovery or a Relationship class of any kind , it's almost mandatory . For the healing process alone , I can understand the purpose of this exercise  . The questions become  " where do we begin ? "  or " how much do we tell ? " or  " why do we feel the need to perform this act ? "
When Emily was contemplating Baptism , she wrote a very long letter to her father , all of seven pages . There were things she needed to say so she could move forward . That letter was never mailed , instead it was buried at one of their favorite places . 
There are different reasons why we review our past . A young woman may want to bury the hatchet with an absent father or a young couple will feel a need to be honest with their future mate . 
I want to review my past to see where I have been and where I need to go . I want to see the mistakes I have done and the corrections that need to be made .…

A Brave Heart

Over the years , I have met many fellow cancer patients , some that have become very dear to me . A person can make  friends while waiting for treatment in a clinic . Why not ? We're there for majority of our day , we might as well as chat with others to pass the time .

Some of these moments with them have been fleeting , lasting only the few hours while receiving infusion . Yet , they have left an impression . There is something deep inside of us that is  provided by God , whether we are believers or not , where we can survive the most difficult of circumstances . 

I have lost quite a few of them to cancer this past year . 

Six days ago , Aubrey's nephew was born with heart problems , needing open heart surgery in the first week of his life . As I scanned his image , all sorts of memories invaded my being . 

Memories of myself being hooked up to numerous tubes and wires where my face was barely seen . The slow healing process and the many setbacks . I remember it all quite well .…