Sunday, March 31, 2019

Attacking The Pantry

                                                              Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.

In conversation be sincere
keep conscience as the noontide clear
think how all seeing God thy ways
and all thy secret thoughts surveys
Thomas Kerr

Why do the weekends go by so fast? I think, because we try to cram so much into these two days. Majority of us work Monday through Friday and there isn't enough time to take care of all our extracurricular activities. Truth be told, we all have way too much on our plates to accomplish everything. Yet, we continue to try.

This weekend was no different than all the others. We had such high hopes, but only made a dent in all the activities planned. Saturday, we went to the movies to see the much talked about "Us."
Emily and I had no problem getting the message and it was pretty easy to follow or at least for us. Not many people understood the movie. We do not go out to the movies on a regular basis, but it was nice to step out into the world and relax. I'll tell you a secret: We sat in the top row and I crocheted until the movie began. No one noticed.

Came home, made some supper and Emily went to bed. There are about four hours in the evening every weekend that I have to work on my blog, Ministry or Group activities. That may seem like a lot, but it goes by so fast. Just going through my e-mails takes about an hour. I dream about having a whole week off and doing absolutely nothing, but my work. I mean nothing. No shopping, cleaning, laundry or cooking. Just locking myself in and working at home. One day, that will happen!

Today, it is Sunday in the early afternoon and I thought it might be  a good idea to attack that pantry before the weekend is over. Now, that may seem like quite a feat, but my pantry has been sort of empty. I made a decision, a few months ago, to deplete the pantry as much as I could. I would not buy anything for it until I used up what I had. There were only two exceptions: Tomato sauce and tuna. I didn't even need to buy those. 

It went pretty well. There are some things I didn't get done in the pantry, but it was a good start to a project that has been on my mind for awhile now. At least, the food part was finished. All that was left were the odds and ends that every pantry holds. We even have a small chest of drawers in it and our medicine cabinet. I'm happy and that is all that matters. I did do something productive and it showed. You could see the difference. All in all, a good weekend. 

Have a blessed day everyone. 

Thursday, March 28, 2019

Just Share It: Lysa Terkuerst

                                                                 Everyday is a brand new day,
                                                                  everyday is a journey.

Just as Thou wilt is just what I would will;
Give me but this, the heart to be content,
And, if my wish is thwarted, to lie still,
Waiting till puzzle and till pain are spent,
And the sweet thing made plain which the Lord meant.

I often escape to my dream world whenever life becomes a bit too much to handle. We all do. We dream a life we wish we had, but it is only a dream. Yet, there are people who lie to themselves by pretending a situation is in a way they want it to be rather than the reality. It can be very dangerous to live that way. I believe Lysa hit this problem right on the head, some of the most dangerous lies are the ones we tell ourselves. I hope you enjoy the following post.  

Slippery Slope
“… to open their eyes and turn them from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan to God …” Acts 26:18a (NIV)
Some of the most dangerous lies we listen to are the ones we tell ourselves.
If you’ve ever felt yourself being pulled into a forbidden but exciting situation, you may know exactly what I’m talking about. It’s the script you can end up turning to when you sense red flags, but you want to convince yourself you can handle it. "I'm just having a little fun. This won't ever amount to anything. It just gives me a little something to look forward to."
You brush off conviction.
You keep secrets from those people you know would call you out.
You lie.
You pretend.
And you have no idea what a voracious appetite sin has. Sin may seem like no big deal at first. But as apologist Ravi Zacharias says, “Sin will take you farther than you want to go, keep you longer than you want to stay, and cost you more than you want to pay.”
Yes, sin unleashes consequences that will rob us of our peace, diminish our integrity and cause us pain that’s never worth it.
That's exactly what happened to a friend of mine when a nice guy at work started paying attention to her. Her marriage was hard, and she was tired of trying so much. She found herself putting extra effort into getting dressed in the morning and being more than willing to work late.
She felt a spark in her heart every time he came near. Soon, they were talking in secret. Texting in secret. Meeting in secret. And down the slippery slope she went.
The slippery slope has one major tell-tale sign — things are done in secret.
The minute we start hiding things from those who love us, doing things in a sneaky way, lying or telling half-truths, and figuring out ways to cover up evidence of our activities — we're on the slippery slope. And we're headed downhill fast.
Satan is the master of darkness. As long as he can keep us operating in our dark secrets, we are deceived. In The Message version of Acts 26:17-18, we are reminded:
"I'm sending you off to open the eyes of the outsiders so they can see the difference between dark and light, and choose light, see the difference between Satan and God, and choose God. I'm sending you off to present my offer of sins forgiven, and a place in the family, inviting them into the company of those who begin real living by believing in me."
Oh sweet friend, we need to see the difference between dark and light and choose light. We need to bring our choices out into the light of Jesus so He can expose the truth. Only then can we truly discern the difference between being led by Jesus or deceived by Satan.
Doing things in secret can be an indication we are being led by Satan. That's a strong statement but one worth really considering.
Satan keeps dangers off our radar screen and blinds us to the harsh realities coming our way. My friend was blinded. And when she finally woke up to the deception, the devastation horrified her.

If you're keeping secrets today, bring them out into the light:
Find a trusted Christian friend and ask them to help you hold your choices up to the truth.
• Get honest with people who love you.
• Build accountability measures in your life.
• Ask Jesus for help, forgiveness, and a clear understanding of how to hit the brakes and throw things in reverse. Let His truth speak louder than the feelings that are begging you to keep things hidden. Like the end of verse 18 says, "begin real living by believing in me."
The path to real living — the living that will sustain you and lead you to a true discovery of real love, real provision and real satisfaction — is found only by following Jesus

Have a blessed day everyone. 

Wednesday, March 27, 2019

My Writer's Block

                                                  Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.

I know not what the future hath
Of marvel or surprise,
Assured alone that life and death
His mercy underlies.

I've always found writing to be very therapeutic for me. It relaxes my mind as I release all the thoughts taking up residence in my head. The tension leaves and the stress lessens with each new post. I love to write. Period.

These past several months have been difficult as I faced something very rare to me. I couldn't write no matter what I tried, I would stare at the blank screen in front of me. Writer's block became very real and I thought that perhaps it was time for me to hang up the keyboard. 

I've tried to be all that I can be. My trying to be everything for everyone else is truly a losing battle. It is impossible. Ministry leaders everywhere face burnout every single day. I love everything that I am doing and wouldn't give up any of it. I love it. I wish I could make a career out of it by working full-time on all my extracurricular activities. I love what I do, but I have found that it doesn't always love me back. 

As Christians, we are taught on Sunday and in Bible studies, that we will be persecuted for our Faith. In our times, we rarely see persecution of the kind where people have lost their lives for their faith. It does happen in many Countries where there is no freedom. Yet, many of us here will not have to make a choice of life or death like the ones in Third World countries. 

Still, we may not be persecuted, but we are definitely attacked spiritually on a daily basis. We are fighting a daily battle with the World. The World tests us through temptation, anger, jealousy, hatred and tribulations of one kind or another. All coming towards us from other people. People will always hurt us or try to diminish our self worth in one way or another. Being in Ministry of any kind is extremely difficult, because there will always be someone who is unhappy with you. With each new attack, I wonder if I am qualified to be a leader. I look into the mirror wondering if the fault lies there. 

 You see, I believe that's what is wrong with my writer's block. Sometimes, we need to get back to our roots where it all began. My beginning was right here with this blog. This is where the healing came and I need it now more than ever. People and the World will always hurt us, how we endure that is what I need to work on. I wish I could say that these things just bounce off me, but that would be a lie. I need to recover before I burn out. 

If history has any meaning, the history of my posts will reflect how I am emotionally dealing with life. So you can imagine the next few months can be deep. I certainly hope so. 

Have a blessed day everyone. 

Tuesday, March 26, 2019

Cancer And The Clorox Wipe

                                                      Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.

One family, we dwell in Him;
One church above, beneath;
Though now divided by the stream,--
The narrow stream of death.
One army of the living God,
To His command we bow:
Part of His host has crossed the flood,
And part is crossing now.

Whenever I go back into treatment, there is a morning ritual that I perform. I do it automatically without thinking. I remember all of my treatments. They have been embedded in my memory forever. Four bouts with cancer has a lasting effect on a person.

Every morning like clockwork, I would get up and pick up my clorox wipes. I would start at one end of the apartment and work my way to the other. Every doorknob and handle would get a thorough cleaning. There is always plenty of germs on those. The counter tops, too. 

The bathroom gets special treatment. In there, we leave a whole separate container of clorox wipes. That room deserves the most thorough of cleanliness, especially the toilet. A thorough wipe down before use and after use. Don't forget the lid should always be down when in treatment. 

The clorox wipes play a huge role in my recovery. Everything has to be sanitary so no germs can do me harm. To this day, I wipe everything down at work before getting down to business. Cleanliness is key to keeping infections away. 

Have a blessed day everyone. 

Monday, March 25, 2019

God's Hidden Purpose

                                                      Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.

Go, bury thy sorrow,
The world hath its share;
Go, bury it deeply,
Go, hide it with care.
Go, bury thy sorrow,
Let others be blest;
Go, give them the sunshine,
And tell God the rest.

I often think about these past twelve years. God has been so abundantly gracious and merciful to me. Was it always His purpose for me to find mine? Oh, I believe He knew who I was on the inside all along. Or whom I could become. We are never done growing. 

This blog, this Ministry. None of this would have been possible without Him. Without His hand in my life. He gifted me with the talent of crocheting and writing to pursue His will for me. How did He know I would love every minute of it. 

If I could start my life over, this is what I would be doing right from the beginning. In a way, my life really did begin anew on the day I was diagnosed with cancer. Yes, it certainly did. He knew what was lying inside of me. He placed it there. He awakened that person and brought me back to life. 

I am what He says I am. I love that song by Hillsong. I am what He says I am. Do you know who you are? Have you met that person He has placed in your soul? Have you met? Have you discovered who you are in Him? 

Have a blessed day everyone. 

Sunday, March 24, 2019

The 100 Day Project:: Day 19 Of Writing

                                                               Everyday is a brand mew day, everyday is a journey.

The thing that goes the farthest
toward making life worthwhile
that casts the least
and does the most
is just a pleasant smile
that smile that bubbles from a heart
that loves it's fellow men
will drive away the cloud of gloom
and coax the sun again

So now that I know where I've gone wrong in regards to my eating habits, what am I going to do about it? To be really honest here, I have tried several times already to implement a change since the journal findings all with no success. I have fallen off multiple times, reverting to the same habits over and over again. I'm trying once again. Here are the implementations.

1. Begin eating a healthier and fuller breakfast. Lunch, too. Try to make an effort to actually make a decent meal here to start the day.

2. Include more protein into our meals like fish and nuts. I feel as if we are lacking protein since we eat a vegetarian lifestyle.

3. Avoid sugary sweets, junk food snacks and fast food. Only eat sweets as a dessert after supper. 

4. Drink more water at home. Definitely more water. 

5. Do some form of physical activity on a daily basis like walking, stretching or calisthenics. This part will be hard, because I  don't like exercising.

6. Implement portion sizes. Another hard one. Save and use leftovers for work lunches the next day. 

Here is my list. Let's see how I do this time around. Hopefully, I won't fall off again and will be able to overcome this huge problem in regards to my healthy eating/ healthy living challenge. 

Have a blessed day everyone. 

Cancer And Nausea

                                                              Everyday is a brand new day,
                                                              everyday is a journey.

O love that passeth knowledge, thee I need;
Pour in the heavenly sunshine; fill my heart;
Scatter the cloud, the doubting, and the dread,--
The joy unspeakable to me impart.

When I look back on the almost twelve years with cancer, I wish I knew then what I know now. I was a complete greenhorn in that regard and I trusted everything everyone said to me about it. I believed all doctors were good doctors and all hospitals were good hospitals. It was all new to me. 

I didn't know anything about cancer let alone what to do to combat the massive side effects of treatment. One of the most unpleasant and difficult to overcome for me was nausea. I never felt such nausea before in my life even when I was pregnant with my children. 

The oncologist, at that time, gave me two prescriptions of nausea fighting medication that I alternated in use. None of them did anything to ease the discomfort of nausea. That was back in 2007. 

When 2011 came and the cancer grew back, I had a new insurance (United Healthcare). One of the perks with this insurance was a call from a nurse that worked for them. She would inquire about my treatment, any side effects and overall well being. She sent me this cookbook for cancer patients. I flipped through it, realizing I've never really seen one like it before. In the contents, were listed side effects instead of recipes. That's how the chapters were, side effects first and the recipes to prepare to combat it.

I've discovered that water was listed for every side effect in that cookbook. Water. . . that's when my love affair with water began. From that point on, my huge jug of water never left my side. So now, whenever I am back in treatment, I take along my jug and make sure I drink plenty of water to help ease the discomfort of nausea. I, also keep plenty of saltine crackers and ginger tea. On the day of my treatment, I also make a huge pot of chicken noodle soup. These are my go to's for nausea during treatment. The water also helps in flushing out the toxins from my body. I still have that cookbook. You never know when it might come in handy!

Have  a blessed day everyone. 

Saturday, March 23, 2019

A Cottage For Sale

                                                  Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.

He prayeth best who loveth best
All things both great and small;
For the dear God who loveth us,
He made and loveth all.
—Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Life is a funny thing. For instance, take a small cottage in the country. One person could be dreaming of nothing else, but escaping those walls that have seem so much like a prison. They dream of the day they can wander out into the sunshine and simply walk away from it forever. 

Another yearns for a cottage just like this one where they can rest their weary soul. They want to escape within these walls from the encroaching world that misunderstands them. They dream of simply walking inside and never leaving again. 

How much longer?, each heart cries out in anguish. How much longer?, was a question that echoed from within their soul. It is a cry that can be heard on a dark and lonely night where sadness dwells.

What makes a home a home? Is it the people in it? Is it the true nature of each heart that resides within the walls of that small cottage? Is it the longing desires from afar?

We all are searching for that place where we feel we belong. Where we can be ourselves, completely naked in every sense of the word. 

I am chosen
Not forsaken
I am who You say I am
You are for me
Not against me
I am who You say I am
(By Hillsong)

A home is a place where I have freedom of being me and I am accepted by the ones who live there with me. My sanctuary, My fortress. My home. One person places a For Sale sign and another takes it down.

Have a blessed day everyone. 

Wednesday, March 20, 2019

The 100 Day Project:Day 15 Of Writing

                                                Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey. 

How oft a gleam of glory sent
Straight through the deepest, darkest night,
Has filled the soul with heavenly light,
With holy peace and sweet content.

It's been a melancholy kind of day. The skies have been overcast, just waiting to burst forth with a massive thunderstorm. That threat hung in the air for most of the day almost as an omen.

Another friend of a friend with cancer. Another cancer patient given the there's nothing we can do anymore. Another family grieving. It's been that kind of day.

No matter how many times I've gone through this, I am always amazed at the why them and not me. Every single illness and death affects me more each time. Today, I literally prayed upon hearing the latest message.

How does a family prepare for something like this? How do they come to terms with the lack of control they actually have over this situation. Greater is He, Greater is He. I'm also amazed that at times like these people still don't believe in a God. 

Lord, how helpless I feel. So powerless to be of any use in a situation such as this one. Oh, how sorry I am for this family unit to be dealing with this, especially since they are not believers. Their sorrow will be so much more overwhelming and painful. 

Such a sad day. A melancholy kind of day. There is power in the name of Jesus, so much power. If they only knew that. If only.

Have a blessed day everyone. 

Tuesday, March 19, 2019

Weekend Wrap Up

                                                 Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.

God is never so far off as even to be near—
He is within: Our spirit is the home he holds most dear.
To think of him as by our side is almost as untrue
As to remove his throne beyond the starry blue.
—F. W. Faber.

My energy levels have been way off lately and all I want to do is sleep. I have been good all Winter and suddenly, I'm exhausted. This past weekend, I slept in on Saturday, waking late in the morning feeling very guilty for doing so. What can I do? Nothing, it is what it is.

The rest of the day was spent catching up on e-mails and messages. I was able to make a vlog for my YouTube channel. I am no longer nervous when making them. Practice does make perfect or at least, comfortable and at ease.

I have been also experiencing writer's block. I have no idea what is wrong, because I have so many drafts started, but nothing completed. I simply stare at the blank pages and absolutely nothing comes out. The muse has left the building. 

I was able to do the bare essentials at home that everyone performs like laundry, shopping and cleaning. That's the norm for everyone. Finally, we cancelled the cable. It has become outrageous, the price has been rising every 6 months. It's like a car payment. Did you know that when I took my financial class, cable was one of the top four highest bills that the average person pays every month? The other three were rent/mortgage, car note and phone. 

The weekend went by quickly as always. I did work on some of my personal projects in crocheting which I plan on writing about in another blog. I finished watching a Netflix series called Bloodline about a family and their secrets. A very messed up family, but a good story line.
Back to work came faster than I wanted it to and here we are starting a new week. Monday is here and it begins all over again.

Have a blessed day everyone. 

Saturday, March 16, 2019

Personal Projects

                                                    Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.

But, above all, the victory is most sure
For him, who, seeking faith by virtue, strives
To yield entire obedience to the Law
Of Conscience; Conscience reverenced and obeyed,
As God's most intimate presence in the soul,
And His most perfect image in the world.

Since the Crocheting Ministry began in 2013, the Fall and Winter Season have always been the busiest time for us. That's when we receive the most yarn donations from our contributors and the most donations are made by us to various charitable organizations in our community and beyond. 

Now that Spring is around the corner, usually we slow down a bit in our production as all the ladies are busy in their gardens, going on vacation and just plain raising their children. All of us enjoy the Summer activities and start back up in August full throttle.

That being said, I have been busy planning and beginning many of the personal projects I have for family/friends. There are plenty, my friends, plenty of these personal projects. Since I started the YouTube channel, I have been also watching different crocheting podcasts and my creativity has been itching to come out. It has certainly been awhile since I made myself anything yarny. I am craving to dig my fingers into a shawl for myself and even make some dish towels. 

My longing for a real craft room has also become apparent as I watch these other crafters among their own rooms. They are filled with glorious yarn, material and crafty supplies. Oh, such heaven to be among goodness! One day, my friends, I plan on having such a room. For now, I am grateful for what I do have which is more than most people. 

Some of the personal projects I have begun are as follows: 1. A blanket for a fellow cancer survivor.
             2. A baby blanket for one of the Ministry's                             delivery person.
              3. Continue on with Emily's huge blanket.
              4. A blanket for mom to place on her couch.
                           5. A blanket for my niece Kathy. 
These are just a few that I have begun. I have finished the one for the cancer survivor and I am almost done with the baby blanket. I do plan on posting some pictures of these on a upcoming blog titled Crochet Worthy. Look for it then. 

Hope you all have a wonderful and blessed day everyone. 

Friday, March 15, 2019

Just Share It: Lysa Terkeurst

                                                                             Everyday is a brand new day,
                                                                               everyday is a journey.

I will shun no toil or woe
where thou loudest I will go
be my pathway plain or rough
if but every hour may be
spent in work that pleases thee
Oh dear Lord, it is enough
G. Tersteegen

How many of us have felt ungrateful? All of us. We may have gotten off to a bad start right as we stepped off our beds in the morning. Nothing we encounter or do for the rest of the day works in our favor and we quickly become ungrateful with everything in our life. Ever have that kind of day? For me, being ungrateful is usually followed by negative thoughts about myself and others view of me. Well, at least all of us have experienced such moments in our lives. So has Lysa. Enjoy. 

When You Just Don’t Feel Very Thankful
“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9 (NIV)
It was one of those days. I drove to the airport in the pouring rain. The skies were gray. The day was gloomy. And honestly, so was I.
Many of the things entrusted to me in life were beginning to feel more like burdens than blessings.
There were just a lot of little things swarming my thoughts. Feelings of inadequacy. There are so many things I’m responsible for and never enough hours in the day. I do enough to keep things from sinking. But I just wonder if I’m doing anything well. I don’t think I am … doing anything well.
The more I focused on these thoughts, the more overpowered I became. The more overpowered I became, the more withdrawn I felt.
I pulled into the parking space and started the fight with my luggage. My suitcase had two wheels missing, and of course I kept intending to do something about this. But I didn’t have time. So I made do with a crazy suitcase and a crazy life and a crazy sense I should just pack my family up and move out west somewhere. Live on a ranch where we grow our own food and I cook beans in a big pot over an open flame.
Surely that would fix everything.
Except I knew it wouldn’t.
Because the chaos wasn’t from my circumstances.
It was inside me.
I boarded the plane. I stared out the window. I watched the gray clouds envelop us. And then the gray broke.
Suddenly, we rose above the clouds and the sun was shining brightly. The sky was fabulously clear.
The clouds were just a temporary covering. They didn’t stop the sun from shining. They merely prevented my eyes from seeing the sun. And it wasn’t just the sky that appeared a little brighter. My mood did as well.
I started to shift from feeling overpowered to empowered as I realized three things:
Just because I feel it doesn’t make it real.
Just like the clouds prevented my eyes from seeing sun, my gloomy mood had prevented me from seeing the truth. I might feel like I’m not doing anything well, but it doesn’t make it true. The fact that I have weaknesses doesn’t make everything about me weak. I have plenty of strengths.
All I have to do is ask a couple of my friends or family members to help me see what I do well. I can celebrate those, and then get a plan for bettering things that need improvement. I can start by identifying one thing to improve this month, and then do a little toward making that one thing better.
There are a lot of people who would trade their best day for my worst day.
Yes, I have a lot to manage. And yes, sometimes things get a little foggy. But that doesn’t mean I have to stay swallowed up in the gray. That means I need to get my head above the clouds and see all the many places where the sun is shining brightly in my life.
I can start by making a list of things for which I need to be thankful.

Have a blessed day everyone. 

Wednesday, March 13, 2019

Just Share It:Anne Graham Lotz

                                                  Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.

A child's kiss
Set on thy sighing lips, shall make thee glad;
A poor man served by thee, shall make thee rich;
A sick man helped by thee, shall make thee strong;
Thou shalt be served thyself by every sense
Of service which thou renderest.

We all have been following Anne's battle with cancer and have been praying for her. Here is another installment of her journey that she shares with the public in order to be an encouragement to others. She certainly has succeeded, at least with me. Enjoy.

With Heartfelt Gratitude... 
for Journeying with Me through Prayer

Your prayers have helped carry me through surgery and seven chemo infusions that have stretched out over six months. Praise God! Most of my battle with cancer has been won! Even as I have struggled with severe side-effects, I have experienced deep peace, unceasing joy, and great expectancy of blessing to come! Thank you!

Now I face a month of daily radiation beginning around the end of this month. I also will continue an infusion every three weeks until October 2019 to help insure the cancer will not return. As so many of you know, cancer is a wicked disease. As God brings me to your mind, I would treasure your continued prayers.

I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership… on this journey.  Philippians 1:3-5

With deepest gratitude and every blessing

Have a blessed day everyone. 

Monday, March 11, 2019

The Woman At The Well

                                                     Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey

O Thou, to whose all-searching sight
The darkness shineth as the light!
Search, prove my heart; it pants for Thee;
Oh, burst these bonds, and set it free!

My morning has been spent on the phone with the  pension center and my financial advisor. Why are things so difficult nowadays? Why can't things be done on the first try? Everything seems to be complicated whether by policy or by people's inabilities to do their job correctly. 

You can tell that I have become a complainer of sorts. In fact, Joey laughs that all I do is complain about something. He is right. I do complain, but it seems to me that the world has gone to the dogs. Chaos, hatred, anger and many other emotions run this world. If there ever has been an outcry for Jesus to come, it is now. People are searching, but they are not finding the right path.

As I sat here at my desk, drinking my morning coffee, I realized something very important. I used to be those people. I used to be the woman at the well. I lived that lifestyle, so how can I judge them? How can I not feel for them? Instead, I shake my head in dismay and write a blog about them. Look at my neighbor from yesterday's blog. Shouldn't I have got down on my knees and prayed for her? So why didn't I?

It's humble moments such as these where we remember where we came from. Not good memories at all. The woman at the well was a broken and miserable woman. She felt shame from all her bad choices in life. I feel that shame at times and it can limit my growth if I allow it to linger longer than necessary. Shame is very painful, because we look at our reflection in the mirror and see nothing, but shards of broken glass. The jagged edges can make one bleed if handled carelessly.

I made many, many bad decisions in my life that have led me onto the wrong path. I wasn't a great mom or even a great woman. It was cancer that alerted me to my destructive ways. My life has been forever changed . . . for the better. . .. since that faithful day on May 25, 2007. So how can I be anything, but grateful for the last twelve years?

Have a blessed day everyone. 

Sunday, March 10, 2019

Gratitude Expiration

                                                                 Everyday is a brand new day,
                                                                   everyday is a journey.

Faith's meanest deed more favor bears
Where hearts and wills are weighed,
Than brightest transports, choicest prayers,
Which bloom their hour and fade.

The weekend began like any other in the past few months. I dropped Emily off at work and came home to lay down for a few hours. Woke up at first light and headed out the door to do errands. Running from one place to another seems to be the norm on a Saturday morning. Gone are the days where we spent them at home catching up. 

Finally arriving back at home, I quickly loaded the washing machine and had a shower. I had maybe 40 minutes or so before having to pick up Emily at work. It was then that I had this creepy feeling. You see, while in the shower, I heard the bathroom door being pulled close. I left it ajar. 

I swear, every hair on my back rose up in full attention. Here I am, butt naked in the shower and I am freaking out, because of the door closing. Talk about a Walking Dead moment. I got out and put on my bathrobe, slowly opening the door to peer out into the hallway. Suddenly, I see Emily sitting on the couch. She came home a little bit earlier than expected, A huge sigh of relief that it was only her. 

After getting dressed, I went back downstairs to put the clothes in the dryer. Someone took my clothes out and put their wash in. I had a feeling who it might be. You see, Emily heard her having a tantrum over my clothes being in the washing machine and my not taking them as soon as it was finished. She had a fit, but I can remember on several occasions where she left her laundry and went out for the day. Very funny, don't you think?

That same woman, who was cursing me out for the whole building to hear, was the same woman that I have helped on numerous occasions. I have this thing about single moms, because I was one. If there is one in the building, I would share extra food, bring freshly baked sweets or even help with things like providing her with my car supplies (motor oil, fluids etc).

For about a minute, I felt angry. Then I remembered an article I read a while back on gratitude.The writer of that article held the opinion that gratitude had an expiration date of about three months. No matter what one has done for another, that feeling of gratitude would last about three months. Then it is forgotten.

Don't get me wrong. I don't need to be hailed as a hero here at all. It is just the fact that all of my actions have been unappreciated. It meant nothing to her anymore. There is truth in that article. There are times where I am distressed at the world and what it is becoming. I am becoming old, my friends. I have joined the crowd that is waiting for the promised land from the Promised One.

Have a blessed day everyone. 

Yarn Bombing My Life

                            Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey. Some murmur if their sky is clear, And wholly bright ...