Tuesday, January 31, 2017

The Winter Blues


I believe I have the Winter Blues. I'm tired all the time and I definitely don't want to get out of bed in the morning. Besides, work has been doubly slow and the eight hours slowly pass by. I want to pick up that phone and call in sick every single day. I'm done with Winter. 

Have you noticed that whenever one feels down, everything and everyone seems depressing? The conversations are depressing. The world news are depressing. It's almost as if a dark cloud follows us around dispensing cold, cold rain. How do we shake it off?

I keep telling myself to keep plodding along, it will eventually pass. The other part of me says I should take a couple of days off to recuperate and begin anew. What would all of you do?

Have a blessed day everyone. 

Monday, January 30, 2017

Too Many Projects

                                            Everyday is a brand new day,
                                            everyday is a journey.



Well, I've done it again! I've over extended myself with too many craft projects and now, I'm way behind. All of you know that I have a Crocheting Ministry in which we donate everything we craft. Plus, we work by donations of yarn. All of that yarn donated is used strictly for charitable organizations. None of it is used for personal use. 

Although, we do make items for ourselves or family members using materials that we bought ourselves. I also, have certain projects that I'm asked to make and my repayment will be yarn. I should clarify that they also buy whatever yarn is needed for that project. Having said all that, I've taken on quite a bit of these project this Winter. More than I can handle. 


ThThis afghan is one of my largest thus far. It will be the size of a queen size bed. The yarn that I will receive as payment will cover enough to hold us over or the entire Winter. It will be worth the work to ensure my ladies have material to work with and ensure my mental security in providing for them.



I love making hats, scarves and headbands for people , because it takes no amount of time and I can quickly go back to doing my Ministry work. 


Another blanket request, but the owner bought so many skeins of the three colors that I can keep them in repayment. The hustle is real!

This next one is actually a Ministry Project that we hope to bring to fruition in a few weeks. These are homeless sleeping mats that we hope to distribute ourselves by going out to the homeless in person. 

Besides, all of the above, I still make the Ministry baby blankets, hats, scarves and headbands we regularly donate to various charities. I you are interested in making a yarn donation, you can send it to :

The Crocheting Ministry Club
c/o Lottie Krol
10064 Holly Lane
Apt. 1N
Des Plaines, IL. 60016

OR

You can e-mail me directly at;
wladyslawakrol@yahoo.com

Thank you for all you do to make this Ministry a thriving one! Have a blessed day everyone. 



Sunday, January 29, 2017

The Ten Questions

                                                      Everyday is a brand new day, 
                                                         everyday is a journey.




Grave on thy heart each past "red-letter day"!
  Forget not all the sunshine of the way
  By which the Lord hath led thee; answered prayers,
  And joys unasked, strange blessings, lifted cares,
  Grand promise-echoes! Thus thy life shall be
  One record of His love and faithfulness to thee.
F. R. HAVERGAL.

I often see a question and answer sort of game on social media that many of us love to participate in. Although they are very popular, I don't join in.  I found the above list and just for the heck of it, decided to answer them. I found myself answering each one based on one event in my life in 2016. 

Almost to every question, except one, I've answered radiation. That time really was a pivotal moment in my life in both good ways and bad.

1. What went well this past year? My treatment went well, much better than what I anticipated.
2. What did not go well? My reaction to radiation or I should say the side effects.
3. What do I want to do the same this year? Stay in remission!
4. What do I want to do differently? Not have the cancer come back and to avoid radiation.
5. When did I feel most in my sweet spot? When radiation was all over and remission set in. 
6. When did I feel the most drained and exhausted? When I went back to work and still had radiation every morning. I would get up at 5 or 5:30 am, go to radiation and head out to work afterwards. 
7.What did I say yes to that I wish I said no to? Radiation, I'm still not convinced that it was worth all that ordeal. 
8. What did I say no to that I wish I said yes to? I regret going back to work. In the end, it wasn't a smart idea, because I felt exhausted.
9. What helped me stay close to God this past year? The fact that I need Him, especially when I'm in treatment.
10. What did He teach me that I want to live out this year? Compassion.

And there you have it, folks. I answered them. 
Have a Blessed day everyone. 

Saturday, January 28, 2017

Pictures


During my unpacking, I came across some old photos of my recovery period beginning way back in 2007 until now. Since that time, I have had four bouts with cancer, two of which I lost my hair. I keep these photos to remind me of where I've been, how long I have come and where I want to go in the future.



Having my chemo treatment. Check out how thin I was!

My second bout with cancer and here my hair was growing back. I thought I looked like a million bucks.


Now I know you're thinking I'm pretty thin, but this isn't my lowest weight! This is my second to the lowest.

My hospital room at home a.k.a. the living room.


My wearing many hats and scarves, trying to look stylish with no hair.


I was so thin trying to keep the weight on. Now, I'm so fat trying to keep the weight off. Ironic.

The oncologist's waiting room/ chemo treatment.



The beginning of my crocheting therapy.

My lowest weight ever ( a little under 100 lbs). Not very pretty, but I keep it to remind me every time I start complaining about how fat I am now. I remember that time so well. It was then that Tammy Faye Bakker died of her cancer weighing a mere 65 lbs. God saved me for a purpose. I just hope I'm living out that purpose.

Have a blessed day everyone. 

Friday, January 27, 2017

A Spiritual Meal

                                          Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey                             



 When sorrow all our heart would ask,
  We need not shun our daily task,
    And hide ourselves for calm;
  The herbs we seek to heal our woe
  Familiar by our pathway grow,
    Our common air is balm.
J. KEBLE.

I've been brought up to appreciate a meal as a celebration. A meal consisted of homemade comforting food to be shared with a large group of people. This meal would leave you feeling too full, but satisfied. My parents loved to entertain. Our family home was always filled with people, some that I didn't even know too well. 

That's how I view a spiritual meal offered by God to us. That's exactly what I'm looking for in a relationship with God, a fulfilling spiritual celebration where we both walk away from it satisfied. We are so full, we need to unbutton our waistband.

That's why I look forward to Sunday. It may be really difficult to get up early out of bed. It may be tempting to just say no, not this Sunday. It may be so easy to just turn over and go back to sleep, but I know my week will not be easy if I listen to any of that temptation. 

I look forward to my spiritual meal. No matter how tired I may have been when I walked in, but by the time worship music comes on, I'm on my feet singing away. I need that meal and so do you. 

Have a blessed day everyone. 

Thursday, January 26, 2017

The Simple Life 2

                                        Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.



Still may Thy sweet mercy spread
A shady arm above my head,
About my paths; so shall I find
The fair centre of my mind
Thy temple, and those lovely walls
Bright ever with a beam that falls
Fresh from the pure glance of Thine eye,
Lighting to eternity.
R. CRASHAW.

When I first made the decision to live simply, I embraced the lifestyle energetically. I thought I was on the right track to living out the lifestyle meant for me. I also thought I knew all there was to know on that subject. Well, I was wrong.

That fact was made clear to me when we moved before Christmas. Two things stood out right away. One, I have way too much stuff. Two, I like separation of rooms. 

Too Much Stuff. I may have gotten rid of a lot in the past such as clothes, shoes and accessories, but there is so much more. A move will show you things about yourself and how you live. I still have boxes I haven't unpacked yet. Where do I put all these things? Why do I even have them? 

Another thing that worries me greatly is separation of living space. I need to feel that separation of one space to another. This is where I cook, where I sleep, where I bathe, where I live. I need to feel like I'm moving from one place to the next. It may seem silly unless one finds themselves in that situation. I have discovered this very feeling while at home during last Summer in recovery from my treatment. There  were days when I thought I would go crazy within this small apartment. I needed space.

I think the best thing to do is actually go out and check out Tiny Houses and RV's in person to determine whether or not this type of life is for me. Now, you already know that I've toured an RV, but as of yet, not an actual Tiny House. One of my good pals, found a company not too far from here that has a showcase of Tiny Houses. I cannot wait to actually step foot into one. 

The weekend of my grandmother's Memorial Service, I drove behind one on the expressway. It wasn't very big or very impressive. In fact, it was quite ordinary and plain. A little too tiny for me, but I was fascinated. I tried taking a picture, but it was too hard with one hand on the wheel and the other with a camera in tow. Not to mention, I was on the expressway. 

I know two things about myself. One, I won't be able to rest until I check this out for myself. If I don't, there will be that tiny thing called regret forever inside me. Two, I know how I want to live out the remainder of my life. I just hope that I'm able to do it. Who knows, what God's plan for me really could be. It could be different from mine. 

Have a blessed day everyone. 


Wednesday, January 25, 2017

Things I've Learned About Myself

                                          Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.


Workman of God! oh, lose not heart,
    But learn what God is like;
And in the darkest battle-field
    Thou shall know where to strike.
F. W. FABER.


Some transitions in life are harder than others, but we come out with a lesson learned. . . sometimes. Some of us, need to relive some of these struggles a few times before that lesson is learned the hard way. That's why we all know individuals whose life is a total mess. We keep saying to ourselves and others of these situations, why do they keep making the same mistakes over and over again? When will they learn?

The problem is that we're just as guilty. We all have had a time such as theirs in our lives, we just won't admit to it. Sometimes, we forget situations and the struggles we have endured, because they are gone. We forget how we felt and what we experienced. Out of sight, out of mind. How will we ever grow as individuals if we jump too readily into assumptions and judgments? 

I preach, because I am lacking. During radiation, I have met the inner me and I did not care for her. I lack compassion, understanding and I can be anti-social. At times, even a bit conceited. 

These things are not easy to admit. We all want to believe our behavior and characteristics are of a gentleman or a lady. That is not always the case. I have learned the hard way to first look in the mirror and see what is reflected back at me. For every situation out there, we had some part that we played in it, even a tiny amount. Perhaps even without really being conscious of it. We need to learn to accept the part of us we are not proud of and hopefully change for the better.

Have a blessed day everyone. 

Tuesday, January 24, 2017

The Praise Notebook

                                         Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.




There are so many fantastic experiences that occur to us daily that we cannot explain. Some people call it luck, but I call it blessings from God or God moments. I've decided to start a Praise Notebook to remind me during my darkest moments how much God truly loves me and blesses me on a daily basis. 

When we are facing struggles in our life, it is so easy to get side-  tracked in our faith. So easy to fall into the trap of the devil's negativity. All lies created by the deceiver to fall away from God, the one true being that has always been there for us. The worst part? We actually believe these lies!

That's why it's important to get into the Word of God and be reminded by His promises to us. We all need to be reminded, even I! I am so guilty of falling to the wayside when it becomes difficult. My outward appearance may say that I'm strong, but inside it's quite the opposite. Negative thoughts take over the crevices of my mind and I begin to believe these thoughts. 

I wish I could remember all these precious moments from long ago, because there are so many of them. Why have I forgotten them in the first place? Could it be because I have taken them for granted? I believe it is so. 

Have a blessed day everyone.

Monday, January 23, 2017

A Clean Slate

                                         Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.

Sometimes, our heart 
needs a fresh start.
Ann Voskamp

What makes you happy? It's all about the little things, isn't it? Joy comes in small packages and sometimes we just plain miss it. Every new year, we all have this idea we are beginning anew. A new start. A new beginning. A new, clean slate. All of it devised to start a journey of clean, spiritual living. Or at least, we start out that way, but do we really get there?

Here we are at the end of January, a time of a new era upon us. It is Inauguration Week and many are celebrating with HOPE sprung anew in their hearts. The other half are out in demonstration form, saddened by the turn of events. In a Democracy, there are winners and there are losers. I thank God that we still have a choice in the matter.

To me, I'm looking to the future, my heart overflowing with HOPE and Joy. I would do the same whether the President was a Democrat or Republican, for one reason. No matter what the situation I may be facing, I will never lose Hope and I will always look for the Joy. I will not allow the devil to steal it away from me. 

Let's make a conscious effort to look to the little things that bring life to a dull or hurtful day. Satan is having a field day out there during this week with all the negativity out there. That should be enough for us to look for the rainbow. 

Have a blessed day everyone. 

Sunday, January 22, 2017

The R.V.

                                         Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.



  The lives which seem so poor, so low,
    The hearts which are so cramped and dull,
  The baffled hopes, the impulse slow,
    Thou takest, touchest all, and lo!
  They blossom to the beautiful.
SUSAN COOLIDGE.

Recently, I had the privilege of visiting my older brother in Wisconsin. One of the highlights of the trip was my tour of their RV. Now, if you have been following this blog, you know how much I love the idea of Tiny Living and hope to do so myself in the future. Just like with many things in life, wanting something doesn't mean it may be a good thing. One has to check every aspect of that want to make sure it is truly the right thing for them.


                                          This is a 38 foot long RV. 


This is the view lengthwise and you can see how much space there is to move around. 


I can easily settle in comfortably in an RV. You can't see in the picture, but there are cabinets above all around the cabin. 


 A closeup of the kitchen area. The sink can also be used as additional counter space as a cutting board, as well as the stove. 


The small hallway consists of a refrigerator (which a good size) and a pantry right next to it.



                         Next to that is more storage.


Two things going on here: The mirrored part on one side happens to be the closet, while the door in the reflection leads to the bathroom. 


The bedroom is at the end of the RV and absolutely feels like a separate room. The bed lifts up for more storage. 


This happens to be my favorite spot. The two chairs swivel completely around. More storage of cabinets on top and on the passenger side, the dashboard is actually a desk. Can you imagine the scenery unfolding as I would sit and write? Nothing but beauty. 

I totally fell in love with the concept of an RV. I would update the decor, but overall, a perfect fit for me. 

Have a blessed day everyone. 

Saturday, January 21, 2017

When We Don't Understand

                            Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey. 

I have an acquaintance who has a chronic illness, several in fact. Having just come off another bout with one of her illnesses, I am at a loss how to approach her. That is usually not the case for me, but this time, it's very difficult for me to understand her behavior or her attitude.

She smokes incessantly, doesn't take her medication and walks around with an air of I don't care attitude. She cares not one iota about her health or her life. This is nothing new, she has been like that for years. 

I don't understand that kind of behavior. We pay for insurance, but we don't use it? Like I said earlier, I struggled deeply to understand why this individual and others like them, who don't take care of their health. If you have a chronic illness, that alone should make any person to sit up and take notice. That alone should send a deep desire to live within anyone.

I remember that day well. I went home and I couldn't sleep, thinking of her instead. You see, the Holy Spirit convicted me, because I was wrong to think like that let alone voice it. Who am I to know how she is truly feeling? Who am I to judge her behavior toward her own illness? Where is my compassion that I claim to show toward others? Obviously not here.

3 truths to finish strong
1. You are strong
2. You are worth it
3. You are rescued
By: Jennifer Lee Dukes

I cannot fathom why this person feels the way she does about her own life and health, but just because I don't understand something it doesn't mean it's wrong. It just means I need to learn. So I no longer think anything or say something about her. I'm just there, in case she needs me. This is her journey and she alone needs to make it. Let's pray for her to succeed. 

Have a blessed day everyone. 

Thursday, January 19, 2017

Technology

                           Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.

I have a love/hate relationship with technology. I love being able to write my blog posts on a keyboard instead of using long hand in a notebook. I love the comfort and ease of looking up information instantly on anything. I love connecting with others no matter where I am. I love watching movies, T.V. shows and documentaries from any given year at the simple click of a button. 

But . . . . let something go haywire like a storm or an error flashing on the screen, I'm ready to toss the technological gadget out the window. So when it came to the actual move of ours, I cringed. There is nothing more I dreaded than having to transfer all these accounts, wires, cables etc. from one place to another. Calling customer service, waiting on hold and speaking in terminology that is foreign to me with a thick accented foreigner . . . please help me Lord. Let's not forget all the new passwords and user id's. that had to be created, some easy and others not so easy. 

It didn't come as a surprise to find that many mistakes occurred after our move when it came to technology, mostly due to miscommunication. Miscommunication has a lot to answer for in this world. It causes many problems between people. Somehow Emily's name turned into Me Kr and Melani. How? I'm not sure. I thought I was spelling it out and still it happened. This is just one example, but I can say it was easier to make that mistake happen than it has been to rectify it. 

Technology definitely has improved our lives, but it also has created some unwanted problems. It definitely is a love/hate relationship!

Have a blessed day everyone. 

Monday, January 16, 2017

On The Road Again

                                                       Everyday is a brand new day,
                                                       everyday is a journey.

It's been awhile since I took to the road for a trip. I was a little scared in the beginning, but as soon as I jumped on the expressway, it was ready . . set . . go! I love the freedom of an open road, the big beautiful blue sky and a tank full of gas. One can leave all the troubles behind or at least in our minds. 

That's what I did this past weekend, I took to the road and visited my older brother in Wisconsin. You know, when we're having fun, time just flies! We had a blast, but my favorite part (and grateful) was my tour of their RV. There will be pictures, but not today.

Being on the road again brought back so many memories. I used to be afraid of the expressway until a tiny black box was invented going by the name of GPS. Greatest invention ever! I can go anywhere without a thread of fear. If I make a wrong turn, no worries, it quickly redirects you . 

I wish all things in life came with such directions and re-routes whenever we mess up. Can you imagine how wonderful it might be if we are quickly taken off the wrong path in our lives? No messes. No hurts. No lessons learned. 

You did notice that last sentence, right? No lessons learned. Unfortunately, we have to mess up first to actually learn something from the experience. I had plenty of these wrong turns in life. The only difference now happens to be that GPS. I no longer freak out and worry to death about losing my way. It's the same with our spiritual life. God became my GPS in life and even if I lose my way, He'll set me straight onto the right path once again. 

So I'm ready for that road again. Ready for wherever it may take me. You see, I have my GPS with me. 

Have a blessed day everyone.  

Sunday, January 15, 2017

The Waiting

                                          Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.



Life is made stronger
Giving, receiving;
Love is made longer
Hoping, believing.
Life is made sweeter,
Truly worth living;
Love is completer,
Trusting, forgiving.

--M. B. S.

I have come to the conclusion that I'm horrible at waiting. I've also realized that a horrible person emerges when I wait. I'm imperfect, totally unworthy of being the daughter of a King. I say that I want to do the the will of God, but secretly I'm hoping it is the same as mine. I say I will trust in the Lord, but then I whine when things don't go my way. Yup, waiting stinks.

I've also learned something valuable: Sometimes, God waits on us while we're waiting on Him. 

Wow, that's powerful, don't you think? I think we get stuck in this waiting game and we forget that we are the ones who have to do the work. We keep looking to God to do it for us. Someone asked me last night how do we know when to act or when to be still? What a great question! 

For years, I've been praying and praying on something so dear to me. There were times where I felt for sure this would be the time these prayers would be answered only for the opposite to occur. I would cry out to God why is it always no? In all honesty, will we ever know the why?

So how do we know when to act or when to be still?

Well, I can only speak of my own experience. When I push things to the forefront, because I just cannot wait any longer, things always become worse. I keep pushing and pushing until the situation comes to a boiling point. When things turn for the bad  horribly, that's when I step back and admit to God how desperately I need Him. I give it all up to Him. When we are broken, hitting bottom, that's when I become still. I learn the hard way that unless He says so, nothing will happen. 

There are times when an idea pops into my head out of nowhere. It could be while I'm listening or watching something and suddenly I feel so certain of what I have to do. Absolutely positive. There is no hesitation or doubt about it. A calm assurance comes over me and I know I need to act on that idea. 

None of that will matter if I don't make an effort to allow God in my life. If I don't open my heart to Him, I will never be able to hear Him. When I was a baby Christian, I didn't hear Him right away. It took studying the Word, growing in my Faith and developing more of a personal relationship. It didn't happen overnight. I wish that every one of you could experience that kind of relationship. 

Have a blessed day everyone.

Wednesday, January 11, 2017

A Church Of Our Own

                                                 Everyday is a brand new day,
                                                       everyday is a journey.


Hidden in our longing there's
an innate yearning for 
something better---- some
lasting pleasure or sense of 
completion. Something that 
cannot be found in plastic
and cellophane, but in the
perfectly satisfying 
companionship of Father,
Son and Holy Spirit.
Daniel Darleng

As we began this new journey of ours moving back into the suburbs, one of our main goals was to find a home Church. I, myself especially, couldn't wait to get back to a steady routine. I wanted to join a women's group, something I have missed being involved in. Online bible studies are great, but I miss the human interaction of a face to face discussion. Who says I couldn't do both?

We did choose to belong to a large Church atmosphere, which was something new for both of us. We have always stayed in a small Church community, where we really were more like a family. Small Churches do offer a cozy atmosphere. 


To be honest, everything seems a little different, which is to be expected under the circumstances. Belonging to a large Church such as this one, has setbacks for me. For Emily, this means more younger people for her to mingle with, but for me,  I have no idea how I will make friends here. How does a person connect in a mega Church?

Next week it will be our official third visit to the Church, not counting the Christmas service. We wanted to allow ourselves time to really assess every aspect of the Church, especially the teachings. I have one small problem with this Church, thus far. Since it is part of a mega, mega Church in another location, we actually watch a live feed of the main Pastor in that location preaching. Now, I did notice that during Christmas service, our very own Pastor taught the message, but that was it so far. I hope that is not the case every Sunday. I want a more personal interaction with the Pastor as he preaches here in the Church where I am at. 

So as you can see, we are in a quandary as to what we should do. We did want a change in our life, maybe this includes the Church atmosphere, too. I did enjoy the message last week and isn't that the most important part? Shouldn't my only concern be whether they are preaching the Word of God? I think we have our answer here.

Have a blessed day everyone. 

Monday, January 9, 2017

A Post About Nothing

                            Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.


I never saw a moor
I never saw the sea
Yet, I know how a 
heather looks and 
what a wave must be.
 I never spoke with God
nor visited in Heaven.
Yet, certain I am of the 
spot as if the chart 
were given.
Emily Dickinson

Some days, one cannot get anything done no matter how much we may try. It just doesn't happen. We could plan everything, even write it down on the calendar and poof! nothing is accomplished. 

That's exactly what happened this morning. My bed was so warm and comfy that I had no desire to rise from it. I watched as the hand on my clock ticked away announcing each new hour, as I lay snug as a bug in my bed. I almost called in sick to work, because of  all this laziness! It would defeat the whole purpose if I had listened to that voice. My goal has been to save all the vacation days I could and use them during those hot, humid days of Summer. 

When I was younger, I used to think that days like these were really procrastination in disguise. I, no longer feel that is true. I believe it is our bodies'  way of telling us it needs rest. We live in a such a busy world nowadays where we are on the go constantly flitting from one event to another. Our bodies have a hard time keeping up. Or at least, this is true for us older folks.

So I listened and rested. Everything today has been done in slow motion. Why fight it? We need to know when to get up and when to just sit tight. 

Have a blessed day everyone. 

Sunday, January 8, 2017

I Have To Go To Work

                                          Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.


I have to go to work!

If I had to choose one phrase of the year, that would be it. I have found myself repeating that same phrase every single time I had a doctor appointment. Doctors run on a different schedule than the rest of us. I hope my sister-in-law forgives me for saying that (she's a doctor), but the medical field does run on different time than ours. 

I can remember one instance where I complained to my oncologist about my leg pain. Now, why did I do such a thing, I have no idea. I should have known she would run all sorts of tests. She sends me down for a Doppler ultrasound. I, of course, protest that there is no time. I have to go to work!

Oh, Ms. Krol, there is no need to worry. You won't have to wait at all. It's all arranged, just go to Room blah blah, they're waiting for you. It won't take any time at all.

Of course, when I get there I end up waiting and waiting and waiting. In my mind, I'm screaming I have to go to work! What is wrong with these people? I fill out paperwork. I sit and wait. I undress and put on a gown. And all this time the clock is tick ticking away, eating up all the minutes. The test itself took a good 45 minutes in duration. 

Let me tell you, I was a hot mess before, during and after that ultrasound. I was so worried about being late for work. All I could think about is how much I miss working overnight. I never had to take a vacation day to see a doctor. I didn't worry about the length of every visit. I sat from one waiting room to the next, crocheting and smiling the entire time. I had time. 

Even now, during the Christmas Season, I picked my brain on how I can improve on the scheduling of appointments. Do I spend another year using up majority of my vacation days for doctors? The last thing I want to do is use up two of my vacation days right off in January, but I might not have any choice. Life is about choices, isn't it? Majority of these choices are not exactly favored by us, but they are necessary.

Have a blessed day everyone. 


Thursday, January 5, 2017

The Beast Within

                                         Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.


Why do funerals bring out the worst in people? We'd like to think we would behave better, but would we? Do we? Or is it the preparations of a funeral that bring out the worst in us? Each family member trying their very best in honoring the deceased and in  believing they know what kind of funeral would reflect the personality. That's why it is important to tell your loved ones of your wishes beforehand. It's not morbid, it's smart. 

I've been to all types of funerals ranging from huge events to just family members. Some are filled with baptisms and with long lines of testimonies of remembrance of the deceased. Others more solitary with hardly any visitors at all. The size of the funeral doesn't mean anything at all. What does matter to me is whether the person was loved or not. Or rather, how much.

Yet, there is another side to funerals. The one where regular, sane relatives let loose a beast from within when a family member passes. Suddenly, these same people who have shown love to one another will bicker over the type of songs to play at the funeral. Or spend time arguing over who shall do what and when. I used to say that it wouldn't happen with me. We get along here, my brothers and I. 

Really?

I think that we can be extremely naive when it comes to basic human nature. We look at other people's situations and claim to never behave in that manner, but we all know the truth. We can and will act that way. And when it's over, we will feel horrible or make excuses for it. 

You see, I believe we have real good intentions. We want the arrangements to be the best, but most of all, we want to be secretly acknowledged by the person who passed. It is a final testament to who you were to that person. If the relationship was great, that need for approval isn't required or needed. When it's the opposite, it is a hurtful longing, full of emptiness that might never be filled. That beast will emerge and finally be heard. 

Death is painful when it should be beautiful. That only can happen if we are spiritually ready for the next journey in our life. Are you ready? Are all of your relationships healed? Do you have all your ducks in a row? If not, don't ever think you have plenty of time for that later, because you don't. Why not make that transition of yours as painless as possible for the people we leave behind. 

Have a blessed day everyone. 


Yarn Bombing My Life

                            Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey. Some murmur if their sky is clear, And wholly bright ...