Showing posts from June, 2014

Heaven On Earth

This morning I had a most beautiful worship time with God . A worship where one forgets where they are  or with whom . It was just the two of us . This morning , God came to spend time with me . To sit beside me . To hold my hand as I shared my love for Him . He loved me . He held me . He listened . An Earthy Scene by:Helen Motti lets take a walk each day with God for nature heals each weary heart observe its beauty all around God's masterpiece his blessed art behold the light at break of day that brushes clouds with fiery hue and hear the lilt of sweet bird song that wakens flowers to life anew the majesty each season shows while splendid in such different ways is given with Gods timeless love for us to sharefor all our days Have a Blessed day everyone . UnlikeUnlike··

Question & Answer

Not all questions were regarding me .

1. How is your family reacting to your cancer ?
    My family has come a long way regarding my cancer . In the beginning , it was a traumatic shock for everyone . I have always been viewed as a strong individual health-wise . This turn of events certainly threw them for a loop .
   At first , I depended on them heavily for both physical and mental strength . As the years passed , all of us adjusted to my disease , except my mom . It has been especially hard on her .

2. How are your children handling your cancer ?
    Both of them reacted differently , yet the same . For my son , who always has been more emotional with his feelings , it was devastating . My daughter , on the other hand , kept her feelings more hidden and reacted in other ways .
    It has brought us even closer and we enjoy the time we have . Many people are surprised by how well we get along , but we recognize that our time is limited .

3. What has been the most difficult for your c…

An Online Bible Study

I just love a good Bible study . My dear friend Barb , sent me a link to an online one from Crossway for women . The good thing about this one is that we can work on this at our leisure . That's a good thing since we lead such busy lives . Here is some more information and a link .

Sign up to receive helpful content sent directly to your email inbox, including:
A daily devotional guidingyou through the story of the Old Testament, including suggestions for reflection and prayer
Practical articleswritten by some of your favorite authors to encourage and equip you for personal or small group Bible study
Video interviewswith well-known Christian women related to the life-changing power of God’s WordIncludes contributions fromJen Wilkin,Kathy Keller,Paul Tripp,Kristyn Getty,Nancy Guthrie,Gloria Furman,Elyse Fitzpatrick, and more!
For questions about this list, please contact:

Have a Blessed day everyone .

Throwback Thursday

I've never struggled with anything more difficult in my life than gaining this weight and losing my hair . When I would glance in a mirror , I saw a stranger . Who is this person staring back at me ? I've been trying to find out since that faithful journey of mine has begun  all those years ago .

Losing Your Identity

My hair has been falling out . It's not a pretty sight . Everyday it gets worse . I don't think people realize what the process looks like when your hair starts shedding . Think of a chemical waste movie where the infected person 's hair is falling off in chunks . Globs....chunks. Yuck .     It starts off with just some hair whenever you brush . Then a handful everytime you touch your hair. After that, you shed on your shoulders , pillow , bathtub . You don't even have to touch it .  Everyday it gets worse and worse . So I made the decision to shave it already .
   Four years ago , I shaved my head immediately when it started to fall out . This …

A Love Affair With Food

I really appreciate food .
As a little girl , I have many times embarrassed my brothers by inviting myself to the dinner table when visiting friends or neighbors . I was a chubby little girl who eventually grew out of her puppy fat  . 
When we came to America , I was mesmerized by commercial ads for fast food . We were Polish immigrants , greenhorns , knowing only our cultural foods . We ate well , I just didn't recognize nor appreciate it . All  I wanted is that  peanut butter sandwich , twinkies and a can of spaghettos . When fellow classmates wanted to trade their lunch , my hand immediately went up . 
As I grew older , so did my experience with ethnic foods . I like diversity in all things , especially in food . I have no problem trying out new things , nor am I squimish . Buffet-style is one of my favorites . 
The funny thing is that in all of my youth , as I ate whatever I wanted , I never gained any weight . I had four children and the fat never stayed on . A little thing calle…

A Kitchen Table

It's Monday morning and it has been raining since the middle of the night . I love the rain , I just wish I could be at home to take advantage of this
 day . Instead , getting ready for work is around the corner .

The weekend has passed by in a blink . Maybe , because it was a busy one , leaving no time to lounge around . Even with all that was accomplished this past weekend , I still feel unhappy with it .

Things were just not easy . There were a lot of disappointments , things that I had to quickly re-adjust to and many changes to plan A , B , and C . Now that it's all over , I feel exhausted . 

There have been too many of these weekends where I had to divert to a backup plan . Something is not right and changes have to be made . Maybe I am the one who needs to change ? 

I feel like I'm in a deep rut and can't seem to find my way out . Quite frankly , I'm tired of pretending or going along trying to make the best of every situation . 

I am not happy with my work schedu…

A Heart Desire

Delight yourself in the Lord and  He will give you the desires of your heart .
Psalm 37:4

We all have a secret desire , something we are dreaming and striving for within our hearts . For some of us it may be a yearning to live on a tropical island or to live in a luxurious home . For others , it can be more meaningful like finding that perfect mate or a long awaited child .

We all have that wishlist that we hold dear and close to our hearts . For me , it has always been a comfy apartment in a small town near both my children . A  car that would be a reliable one that didn't break down all the time . A place where I can spend more time running my crocheting club and writing .

We dream and we dream big , but what happens when that dream is nearing a reality ?

We become frightened by what the reality really might hold . What if it isn't what we had imagined ? What if it turns sour and all our hopes and dreams go down the tube ? 

Anything new is scary . Are we brave enough to step ont…

Throwback Thursday

Trust . . . .  a huge part of everyone's journey . Since then  , I have learned that trust is a lifetime growing experience rather than something we acquire after a quick course . We can waiver or grow stronger in our trust , depending on life's trials .

Another thing I have learned is patience . When things are going south pretty fast , not only do we need to trust , but have patience to sit still and allow God to do His part .

I did have  many cute and smart titles , though !

Trust , Trust ..... Where Art Thou?
    This being my second time around , I find people asking me primarily the same question . ......Is it the same ? Is it the same chemo type ? Are you feeling the same ? Are you having the same side effects ? etc, etc, etc . It's basically the same question . How is it like now ?
    There are more differences than similiarities . I'm not even sure if there are any similiarities other then the fact that I have the same cancer . Before , I dealt with my spiritua…

Waiting For The Storm

It's been hot and humid for two whole days now . The window curtains have been drawn to keep out the burning sun  and keeping the place cooler .

As the morning progressed , it seemed to be getting darker and darker , needing to turn on the lamp . Pulling the curtain aside , I glanced outside the window to see trees swaying mightily and huge black clouds covering the sky . A storm was coming .

Finally ! I've been waiting these past few days for the storm to break . The atmosphere becoming heavier with each passing day . I've been waiting for the cleansing of a good thunder clapping , lightening streaming storm to refresh all of us .

We all need a good storm in our lives .

Yesterday , on my way to work , as I listened to my music , I was overcome by my feelings and I cried . No particular reason , just overcome by the power of the lyrics . I felt every word as if I spoke it , wrote it straight from my heart . Do I need a reason for the cleansing of a good cry ?

We all need a go…

Plowing Ahead

I often think about Paul and how he devoted his entire life to preaching about Jesus  . He was so passionate , so very enthused about his calling . Not everyone feels such passion in what they do , nor do they have that endurance power  .  

I also wonder if he experienced loneliness , roaming from city to city . I'm sure he has met and befriended many acquaintances , leaving them behind as he moved on . From time to time , he had helpers to keep him company or to share ideas with , but majority of the time , he was alone  ministering to people .

I can relate to Paul a lot . I have many , many friends , but very few that I totally bare my soul to . I think that some of us are better equipped being a good friend to many versus to just a select few .

There is only one person here on earth that knows all my habits , either good or bad . One person who knows all my triumphs , my failures and my shame . That person happens to be my daughter , simply because we live together .

Did Paul ha…

Father's Day

Today is Father's Day and every year I experienced a series of mixed emotions regarding this day . I don't really have nor have I ever had , a close relationship with my dad , but no matter what has happened or will happen , he is and always will be my dad .

He has given me life and it's his blood that flows through my veins .

Father's Day has always held more of a spiritual meaning than any other kind . Whatever I may lack with my natural father , my Heavenly Father provides .

He has given me lifeand it's His blood that flows through my veins .

I remember my father watching National Geographic Animals or any kind of wildlife . He loved History , documentaries and anything that others would consider " boring stuff " especially us kids . I can see that legacy passed on to myself , my children and that has nothing to do with what kind of relationship I had  with him .It's all about that blood and DNA .

I hope you enjoy the following in honor of Father&#…


Life can be so many things . It can wound , love us , surround us with laughter and it can be filled with anger . Sometimes we just need few reminders that life can be all those things , but most of all , it can be changing . 
                                      Freedom . . . . 

   Blessings . . . . 

                                 Seasons . . . .. 

                                 Path . . . .. 
                                    Be Happy . . . 

God . . .. 

                                      Passions . . . .
                              Belief . . . 


HAVE A Blessed day everyone .

Simply Crochet

My main focus this year has been on two of my passions : This blog and my crocheting ministry . I wanted to go a step farther with each one . What is that next step  ?

I'm not exactly sure . I started off with a bang , re-aligning my priorities and fresh ideas on the agenda . I had high hopes for both of my ministries since a new chapter opened in my life  with a new position and a shift schedule change . Yet , the level I was hoping for really didn't happen . 

Yes , there have been many changes for the better in regards to my crocheting ministry : 
1. more donations have been made 
2. new members have joined and some have left 
3. a theme was added to every meeting whether that meant learning to sew or a visit to a senior center .
4. donations of yarn poured in from all over

The one that suffered , I believe ,  has been this blog :
1. not posting daily 
2. limited time  available 
3. there was an increase of viewers , though .
4. writing not up to par 

I think I have two big problems : n…

More Q & A

Here are more frequently asked questions since my cancer few years back . People are just plain curious , because cancer is everywhere . We all either know someone with cancer or heard of a friend of a friend who has had cancer . Let's get to it . 

1. Are you mad at God ?
    No , I am not . I believe we all experience a time in our lives where we are angry with God . This was not the time for me to have such anger . I always felt that there was a message for me and I had a great fear of not being open to seeing it . That the message would pass me over and I would be blind to it . 

2. Where are you at now health-wise ?
    This question varies as time goes by . At this moment , I am in remission . My last doctor appointment was an extremely happy one where she felt I could easily and safely enjoy my summer without any tests , because this was the first time the current results came back so positive . 
    All of that can change in a heartbeat . I could go back in August or September an…

In Servitude

Servitude :
The condition of being forced to work for others . 

When I first read the definition of servitude  , I was a little shocked . I never felt like serving was something associated with being forced . Perhaps , I need to ask a question :

Why do we serve ? 

Some will say they serve to help others .  People serve because it's biblical  and we are told to serve as Christians . There is a need to avenge our guilty and sinful natures that serving atones . Serving has a way of making us feel better about ourselves . There are a few who are just plain passionate about their ministries . 

The more I thought about that definition the more I realized that it could become fact . I believe we all have a natural desire to help , even  if that thought is fleeting . That feeling is genuine and coming from our hearts . So what happens when we change our minds and don't show up ?

What happens is that life intervenes . The day of our serving comes and we don't want to get out of bed . Per…

A Colorful Life

What is  life , but colorful remnants of worn and used pieces of material . We begin our life as beautiful satin cloth covered in jewels of every
 color  . As we age , so does our garment , fading and gems falling off as we go through the cycles of life . 

There were times that I have felt regret as I looked back . Things I wish I had done differently or never done at all . Analyzing every aspect became almost an obsession as I critiqued the flashing color beams of my life . 

Have you ever done that ? Have you gone over your life's decision and wondered how things would have turned out if you went the other way ?

I find that when things are going great in my life than there are no        regrets . When I'm feeling blue , the opposite occurs .  

I wonder why my mind has been actively on overdrive these past few months . I believe it has something to do with my dream coming nearer and nearer to fruition . Perhaps this is more of a look back , a last glance into the past ? Into a colo…

Throwback Thursday

It's funny , but I always thought this is where it all began . . . . my love of crocheting and my ministry . The following memory will be etched forever upon my heart as one of the best . I will always recommend this type of therapy for anyone . Enjoy !

Blanket Therapy

One of my vices in the early days of my cancer was crocheting . When you spend alot of time in the hospital you develop their schedule . You end up sleeping in  short naps through out the day . When you go home the schedule stays with you for awhile . Its very hard to shake it off . You're awake at all odd hours .
    I started crocheting making blankets .Called it my cancer therapy . At that time it was very close to Thanksgiving . I decided to make a blanket for everyone in the family for Christmas . I wanted everyone in my family to have something of mine to look  and remember me  by . From Thanksgiving to Christmas , I made 11 blankets . It kept me occupied during my healing process . I also played alot of c…

Q & A

Over the years , I have answered many questions about ovarian cancer or just plain cancer . Almost all of them have been from women . 

1. How did you know you had cancer ? 
This is the most asked question by women . I think because it's a woman type cancer . This cancer is called  a silent cancer , because there really aren't any symptoms . By the time it is caught , it's usually a stage three and a tumor . 
   So to answer the question , I actually felt my tumor inside my belly , but I had no idea that it was a tumor . I thought it was some kind of bacterial thing that could be taken cared of without any problem . My tumor weighed in at seven pounds ! 
On my very first visit to the doctor , they immediately became alerted , while I like a dummy  , couldn't understand why .

2. Didn't you have regular pap smears  ?  Or doctor visits ?
Ovarian cancer is not found during a pap exam . If for some reason it is caught early , it might have been by accident during a scan or ult…

Simply Exercise

Yes , you read it right . That awful word exercise has entered my life . I have written many times on working out and my feelings regarding it , so I'm sure all of you are surprised .

The fact is , I had blood work done on my sugar , cholesterol etc. and although results show I may not have any of the above , I'm pretty close . Close enough to where I actually sat up and took notice . 

I totally detest working out . I have done the bit at the gym in the past . I have made myself clear on that subject . Yuck !

Then I had a memory flash from the past when I gave birth to my last 
child . I gained quite a bit of weight . I exercised every single day during the children's nap times for almost a year to lose that baby fat , but it came off . 

Now . . . I'm not looking to lose all these pounds or anything like that . My main goal is to lower the levels of my sugar , cholesterol etc . That is all . 

I'm not jumping around doing kick-boxing , I don't think I can lift my leg …