Showing posts from August, 2019

Just Share It: Lysa Terkeurst

Everyday is a brand new day,
                                                                      everyday is a journey.

When through the deep waters I call thee to go,
  The rivers of sorrow shall not overflow;
  For I will be with thee thy troubles to bless,
  And sanctify to thee thy deepest distress.

Wow, after reading the following post I couldn't help, but reflect back on my own journey. How many times have I been disappointment in an outcome only to discover there was something else so much better coming my way? Too many times! There used to be an old Country song that went something like Thank God for unanswered prayers. We tend to get so worked up in our disappointment that things didn't quite go the way we may have wanted them that we forget who is really in charge of our lives. Not only that, but He knows better what we need and when we need it. The following is another great reminder from Lysa.…

Simply Dehydrating

Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.

Under Thy wings, my God, I rest,
    Under Thy shadow safely lie;
  By Thy own strength in peace possessed,
    While dreaded evils pass me by.

So I went out and bought a dehydrator. I've been thinking of purchasing one for ages thinking it might be a great option for the future. I've been researching how to preserve food for long periods of time like canning, freezing and dehydrating. For now, dehydrating seems the best option for us.
You might be wondering why I would buy one in the first place. Am I planning on moving away to live in the hills? No, this is really more of an experiment. I wanted to see if I could do two things. One, I wanted to preserve the freshness of garden vegetables. You know how we feel about our Farmer's Market. Two, I wanted to see if we could save money by buying vegetables when they are in season and cheaper. We would dehydrate them and …

Reflecting On Preventive Care

Everyday is a brand new day,
                                                             everyday is a journey.

Nay, all by Thee is ordered, 
 chosen, planned;
Each drop that fills my daily cup Thy hand
Prescribes, for ills none else can understand:
All, all is known to Thee.

I have been a huge advocate of preventive care, especially when it comes to a chronic illness. Ever since the latest news from my cancer team and insurance company, I've been thinking about how this may affect me now. Basically, preventive care takes on a different role than before. One of my screenings (ct. scans) will not be available to me unless there is some kind of finding during my Oncologist visits. This lack of screening changes everything.
Since that is the case, what does preventative care look like for me now? Well, I think I may need to step it up to do what I can on my end. I need to make sure I take my vitamins daily. Proper nutri…

Change Can Be Good

Everyday is a brand new day,
                                                               everyday is a journey.

One holy Church, one army strong,
    One steadfast high intent,
  One working band, one harvest-song,
    One King omnipotent.

I have this one manager at work that just loves to write encouraging quotes on the board outside his office. They are meant to be a positive effect on our attitude so we can conquer the work day.  Sometimes all they end up being is just plain cheesy sayings that only aggravate us. Once in awhile he hits it right on the mark with a really good one.
If you can't do anything about it, let it go. Don't be a prisoner to things you can't change.
I have been reflecting on many things these past few weeks. As I have mentioned  before, this really hasn't been a good month for us. It has been hectic, stressful, disappointing and absolutely frustrating to say the least. If I…

A New Category

Everyday is a brand new day,
                                                             everyday is a journey

One there lives whose guardian eye
  Guides our earthly destiny;
  One there lives, who, Lord of all,
  Keeps His children lest they fall;
  Pass we, then, in love and praise,
  Trusting Him through all our days,
  Free from doubt and faithless sorrow,--
  God provideth for the morrow.

Earlier this week, I received a voicemail from my Oncologist's office, asking me to call them as soon as possible. Since the Ct. Scan denial from my insurance company was still fresh on my mind, I quickly called them back wondering if it was somehow related. They wanted to reschedule my appointment and again I wondered if my doctor was still on maternity leave. Wrong, wrong, wrong.
They wanted to reschedule my appointment for one reason. I have been placed in a new category.  It seems that there has been a huge influx of cancer patie…

Reflections On Radiation

Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.

Like the star
That shines afar,
Without haste
And without rest,
Let each man wheel
 with steady sway
Round the task that
 rules the day,
And do his best. —Goethe
Radiation, my nemesis. I still shudder at the mere thought. It was five weeks/25 days total and did the most damage to my joints than all the other chemo treatments combined. There are foods to this day that I cannot have too much of or I will be sick. Radiation did the trick alright, in more ways than one. In fact, my radiation doctor has been so far, the only one to tell me that I will have problems with osteoporosis, because of it. My Oncologists look at me like they have never heard of any cancer patient with joint/arthritis issues. Yet, ask any cancer survivor if they suffer from bone loss of any kind and see what they tell you.
Thank goodness that radiation is a one time thing or at least for me. I do know some people who had …

Reflections On Remission

Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.

But souls that of His own good life partake,
  He loves as His own self; dear as His eye
  They are to Him: He 'll never them forsake:
  When they shall die, then God Himself shall die;
  They live, they live in blest eternity.

For someone who has a recurrent cancer, remission isn't what it's cracked up to be. Right after treatment, we welcome the respite of remission. Our bodies are tired, we are tired and we are tired of being in the hospital. We look forward to recuperating and trying to get back to our old routines.
Unfortunately, the recuperation takes quite awhile and the long lasting side effects to the treatment kick in almost immediately. Six months turn into one year and we can't believe how much time has passed. The healing process is still in effect, the results small indeed. Our bodies will never be what they once were before the cancer.
The longer we are…

Lost In My Yarn

Everyday is a brand new day,
                                                              everyday is a journey.

It is not that I feel less weak, but Thou
  Wilt be my strength; it is not that I see
  Less sin; but more of pardoning love with Thee,
    And all-sufficient grace. Enough! And now
  All fluttering thought is stilled; I only rest,
  And feel that Thou art near, and know that I am blest.

So I have come to a decision to clear up or close down any outstanding projects for the year. Come September, I want to basically focus on my writing and crocheting. I have a deep desire to lose myself in the things that bring me much Joy and Peace. Hence, the writing and crocheting. This is very relaxing and therapeutic for me. This is what I really need right now.
I am a firm believer in the Bible verse, Be still and know I am God. I feel as if I need to be still. I am very tired and until I can get this thyroid problem un…

Eating Healthy

Everyday is a brand new day,
                                                                 everyday is a journey.

Thy soul shall enter on its heritage
Of God's unuttered wisdom. Thou shalt sweep
With hand assured the ringing lyre of life,
Till the fierce anguish of its bitter strife,
Its pain, death, discord, sorrow, and despair,
Break into rhythmic music. Thou shalt share
The prophet-joy that kept forever glad
God's poet-souls when all a world was sad.
Enter and live! Thou hast not lived before.
—S. Weir Mitchell

Earlier this year, I made up my mind to finally do something about my eating habits outside of my home. That's the key point here, outside my home. As many of you know, I have been on this eating healthy journey ever since my diagnosis in 2007.  If I had to rate myself, I would give myself a score of 90% there. It's the 10% that I want to conquer. I do great at home, but there are many trigger points thro…

Losing Your Hair

Everyday is a brand new day,
                                                                 everyday is a journey.

The heart that trusts forever sings,
  And feels as light as it had wings,
  A well of peace within it springs,--
    Come good or ill,
  Whatever to-day, to-morrow brings,
    It is His will.

Losing my hair while on chemotherapy was probably one of the most traumatic experiences for me. I never realized just how vain I was until I lost my hair. I guess, it wouldn't be so bad if it was just the hair, but you lose eyebrows, lashes, arm hair, legs, basically everywhere hair grows. You end up looking like a plucked chicken and it totally changes your appearance. Totally.
When I lost my lashes, I think I literally broke down. I've always had such thick lashes, too. Not anymore. I haven't been able to get them back since the first diagnosis of cancer. Cancer robs you of everything, even your lash…

Reflections On Chemotherapy

Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.

Lord! who Thy thousand years dost wait
    To work the thousandth part
  Of Thy vast plan, for us create
    With zeal a patient heart.

Of all the cancer treatments I've ever had, chemotherapy is the one I am the most comfortable. After all these years, I know what to expect when chemo infusion occurs. I know how my body will react and I know how to prepare for it. It has always been the same. It's as predictable as the coming of day and night. The schedule rarely changes only if my body is not cooperating. Then it's moved up by one week. Pretty predictable.
I have a name for my chemotherapy treatments, I call them my spa days. It's probably the only time when I am completely left alone to do whatever I want. I will spend the entire day there at the clinic crocheting, reading, doing puzzles. I even once addressed all my Christmas cards during treatment. Whe…

Looking Good? Not!

Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.

Be useful where thou livest, 
that they may
  Both want and wish thy
 pleasing presence still.
  ...Find out men's wants and will,
  And meet them there.
 All worldly joys go less
  To the one joy of doing kindnesses.

I like to wear Summer dresses or skirts. I feel very carefree and feminine doing so. Recently, I bought a couple of lightweight dresses at Walmart and couldn't wait to wear them at my Great-nephew's 6th birthday party. 

Now, I know I am a full figured woman. Not an hourglass figure, but more of a rounded ball type. Still, I have been feeling good about myself since I am on this journey to finally accept and love this body I have been given. 

The day finally arrived and I slipped into this rust colored dress. I thought I looked fabulous, baby. Heck, I even shaved my legs! I pranced right in where everyone was seated. My mother gave me a glance. That should ha…

A Quiet Few Days

Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.

Among so many, can He care?
Can special love be everywhere?
A myriad homes,--a myriad ways,--
And God's eye over every place?
I asked: my soul bethought of this;--
In just that very place of His
Where He hath put and keepeth you,
God hath no other thing to do!

So it's been a quiet last few days. Sometimes the quiet chooses us and sometimes we choose it. I definitely opted for the latter. I know myself and how I react to things. As disappointing and baffling these past few days may have been, I needed some time alone to slowly process. I grabbed my yarn and de-stressed.

A person can get a lot done when they are quiet. I put in the new curtain rods, it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be by hand. I hung the curtains and suddenly a room is transformed. I even fixed the closet door. Started de-cluttering the medicine chest, the linen closet and a kitchen drawer. Whe…


Everyday is a brand new day,
                                                                 everyday is a journey.

We tell Thee of our care,
Of the sore burden, pressing day by day,
And in the light and pity of Thy face,
The burden melts away.
We breathe our secret wish,
The importunate longing which no man may see;
We ask it humbly, or, more restful still,
We leave it all to Thee.

Well, another Ct. Scan denied by Cigna. This will be the second time this year that it has happened. I am not sure how to take this, because somehow, I never thought it would get to this point. I am literally dumbfounded by this denial. . . again.
For an insurance provider to claim that I, a person who has a recurrent carcinoma and a 4 time cancer survivor in twelve years, have no probable cause to have one. That is ridiculous, just plain ridiculous. What am I paying my insurance for? It basically does nothing for me. What is the purpose o…