Tuesday, April 30, 2019

The 100 Day Project: Day 26 Of Writing

                                                                 Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.

Write it on your heart that 
every day is the best day in the year. 
No man has learned anything rightly
 until he knows that every day is doomsday.
—Ralph Waldo Emerson.

Over the years, I have made several things for my family and friends. I have to say, that almost all the things I have made have been appreciated. I only had one incident where my gift has been re-gifted to someone else. I didn't find this out until years later and by accident. You know, it is true what they say, that all things come to light eventually. No lie can be hidden. 

I have heard from many of my fellow crafters that this happens quite often. We spend so much time and carefully try to accomplish this beautiful item for a Christmas gift or a baby shower only to discover that it is sitting in a closet never being used at all. There are many crafters out there who have a wonderful talent whether it is sewing, knitting, DIY projects or even writing. Not all people want homemade things.

These same fellow crafters of mine have chosen a saying to fit this dilemma we all face. We like to ask ourselves before making anything, are they crochet worthy?  

We are often asked to make a blanket or other item for someone, but we are very cautious due to the fact that many of us have been burned. People would ask for a specific item and we would make it. When the time came for payment, some of us would get stiffed. This only happened to me once, even though I only ask for cost of yarn. I do not charge for my labor. 

Nowadays, I have established quite a technique to wean out the not so serious ones. Whenever someone asks for an item to be made, I tell them to buy the yarn themselves and I will make it. Usually, when the person is serious, they do so gladly. When the opposite, I never hear from them again. This sort of eliminates the problem. 

I often wonder if people like what I make them. Is it the gift or the thought behind it that makes a gift special? Or the fact that someone took the time to prepare it for you? Not really sure. I do know that one of my favorites are the small gifts that are so meaningful and some not even pricey. To me, the fact that someone took the time to shop, to create and send it is enough. They must really love me to do so. Are you crochet worthy? I think so.

Have a blessed day everyone. 

Monday, April 29, 2019

The 100 Day Project: Day 25 Of Writing

                                                    Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.

O power to do; O baffled will!
O prayer and action! ye are one.
Who may not strive, may yet fulfil
The harder task of standing still,
And good but wished with God is done.

No one wants to face cancer again after the first time. We are hoping that it never comes back, because once was enough. Yet in this day and age, we all either have someone who has cancer in our life or we are the ones with cancer. This monster has no preferences, it attacks everyone. 

It seems that cancer has become the most feared disease and I know many people who are afraid to even mention the "C" word. I am also attacked by some who believe just mentioning it brings it on. They claim that is why my cancer returns, because I am always talking about it. That is so like my childhood that it angers me. I have spent a lifetime of being told not to let anyone know what is going on in my life. If we were going through anything as a struggle, heaven forbid if we told the outside world. Everything was and is a secret. 

Well, I'm telling you right now I will never stop speaking about cancer. How in the world are we to help one another if everything is a secret? That's not God's way. 

Cancer is ugly, that is certain, but so is loneliness and we need each other when we face these struggles. I don't have the perfect answer or guideline to facing cancer over and over again. I wish I could give you a five step of do's and don'ts, but I can't. Every situation is different. We are at different places in life and each recurrence affects us differently. It does not matter how many times we go through cancer, each time brings forth something new from within us. Where I am at is not where you are and so forth. 

Although, I do believe that we need to prepare ourselves in certain ways, especially emotionally and financially. Healthcare isn't what it used to be and we need to save up money for that rainy health day. Emotionally, I suggest you process whatever feeling you are experiencing. Do not sweep it under the rug, telling yourself not to think about it. I rather think about it now in small increments than have it all thrown at me at once. Trust me, you will not be able to avoid these emotions. You will have to face them at some point. 

Life is meant to be lived. That's what I keep telling myself and to others. We need to live out our lives as purposefully as possible. Make it count, quality of life is everything. 

Have a blessed day everyone. 

Sunday, April 28, 2019

The 100 Day Project: Day 24 Of Writing

                                                                Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.

Keep me I pray in wisdom's way
that I may truths eternal see
I need protecting care today
my purse is light
my flesh is weak
Eugene Field

I've spent the weekend catching up on some much needed crocheting to fill up the volunteer boxes. That wasn't the only thing I was catching up on. Netflix kept me company while my fingers worked. There is a Finnish detective story I finally caught up with and began a Belgium one. The only problem with them is that there were subtitles. 

I have noticed that there is a commonality between all of these detective stories and it isn't murder. All of them are based in a small town and the leading detective has come home, being rather tired of life in the big city. 

Isn't that funny? When we are young, we cannot wait to get out of the small town and into the big city. We imagine life there to be all we are missing in our hometown. As we age, life beats us up and we cannot wait to get back to that same little town we left. We are done with city living. 

Isn't that true to our own lives? We are no different than those detective stories. We cannot wait to live our life, thinking and acting as if we have all the answers. We don't want anyone telling us what to do. 

Home has always represented a sanctuary to me where I can be all that I want to be without any fear of repercussion. A place where I am accepted for who I am and want to be. No one and nothing can enter to dispense that peace without my approval. No matter how badly my week may turn out, I rush home and bask in it's security. It's no brainier for me to see why people wish to return to where they grew up. Home is where the heart dwells. 

Have a blessed day everyone.

Saturday, April 27, 2019

The 100 Day Project: Day 23 Of Writing

                                               Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey. 

Yea! In Thy life our little lives are ended,
Into Thy depths our trembling spirits fall;
In Thee enfolded, gathered, comprehended,
As holds the sea her waves--Thou hold'st us all.

So how is the 100 Day Project going? Well, I am posting every single day, but I feel rushed. Writing isn't something that one can do in a single sitting in a few minutes. At least, not for me. I have a drafts folder where I keep a total of 100 or more unfinished stories. Sometimes, I can finish a post in one morning and there are some that I only add to them a sentence or paragraph at a time. It all depends on how much time I have or if the muse is cooperating. 

I have seen an interview once on PBS with a Mystery writer. He was asked about his technique when it came to writing. His reply made me feel better about my own writing habit or lack of. He sits in front of the keyboard at the same time every single day. He has this routine and he keeps it religiously. It doesn't matter if he writes anything or not. Sometimes, he has a great day and others just ideas come flowing through. The point here was to keep the routine as if he was going to work daily. 

The content of my writing isn't what I normally post. I feel as if I have been lacking writing skills. Or at least ideas. I am not sure what has happened in the past several months, but I have lost the amount of readers I was maintaining up to January. One has to post on a daily basis to maintain that steady flow of readers visiting everyday. I ended up slowly missing days for whatever reasons. I didn't have enough time and even lacked a story. I became busier and the blog suffered by my not writing daily. To be honest, not too long ago, days turned into a full week between a story. 

I wish I could devote a specific time to just writing, but that isn't possible with the schedule I am keeping nowadays. Schedules change all the time in our life and we go with the flow as it happens. Maybe a shift will happen where time will be available and once again, the schedule will change. One never can tell. For now, I'm still searching for my muse. Have you seen her?

Have ablessed day everyone. 

Friday, April 26, 2019

The 100 Day Project: Day 22 Of Writing

                                                                            Everyday is a brand new day,
                                                                             everyday is a journey.

What channel needs our faith, except the eyes?
    God leaves no spot of earth unglorified;
  Profuse and wasteful, lovelinesses rise;
    New beauties dawn before the old have died.
Trust thou thy joys in keeping of the Power
    Who holds these changing shadows in His hand;
  Believe and live, and know that hour by hour
    Will ripple newer beauty to thy strand.

It has been one heck of a beginning to a month. For one thing, everything has been breaking. Just last night, I got a text from Emily at work. 

Hey, there was a crash in the pantry and the lamp fell down shattering it's bulb everywhere. 

So what else is new? The oven, the lamp, the curtain rod doesn't want to stay up, the wifi goes off, the cable stopped working when we had it. She continued:

Everything in this place is falling apart. But somehow we are still surviving. 
Boy, you got that right! Life keeps moving regardless of what is happening to you at that moment. This is why I have always cared more in the process of relationship with others. I've never cared how many grandchildren I had. All I wanted was a relationship with the ones I did have. I wanted them to remember our time together and who grandma Lottie was.

Since being diagnosed with cancer, relationships took a higher place in my life. That is something, because before cancer, I didn't care for many of the people. I wish I could say that all my relationships are thriving, but that would be a lie. Sometimes, the other person doesn't want a relationship with us no matter how much we try. The door stays shut.

Twelve years and still not mended. Instead, they're torn to shreds. How do we restore the "us" as a unit when it's only the one person trying? You can't. You just keep trying and trying. You never give up hope. Maybe one day. it will be set right.

Have a blessed day everyone.

Thursday, April 25, 2019

The 100 Day Project: Day 21 Of Writing

                                                               Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.

I know not what the future hath
of marvel or surprise
assured alone that life and death
his mercy underline
J.G. Whittier

Sitting at my desk and looking out my window, anyone would think it's just another ordinary day. I woke up at my usual time, made my coffee and went to pick up Emily. Something I do every single morning, but today was a bit different.

It may have begun the same way, but it quickly turned a corner for the better. You see, we accomplished a huge goal this morning. One that we have been working and sacrificing for quite awhile now. We can check this one off the list. We paid off a major loan! Praise the Lord!

Back at the start of the year, we set some major goals for ourselves. We wanted to be debt free by the end of this year. Something like that requires quite a bit of dedication. You have to make a decision to give up many things in order to achieve it. 

1. We cook almost every single day, opting to go out once every so many months.
2. Make our lunches and our coffees/teas at home.
3. No upgrading anything unless it totally breaks. 
4. Working all or any overtime available. Holidays/weekends included.
5. Looked at our expenditures and decided on things we don't really need like cable. 

We really needed this moment, because lately, we've been feeling a bit discouraged. All this struggling, all this giving up things while everyone else around us seem to be living it up going out to eat every single day for lunch. Others are busy redecorating their homes buying new furniture. It can be disheartening when one is trying to avoid all that and be good. This morning, this gave us a huge boost to keep moving forward with our plans. Such a relief to be able to pay off a bill this size. Such freedom and that, folks, is totally priceless. 

Have a blessed day everyone. 

Wednesday, April 24, 2019

The 100 Day Project: Day 20 Of Writing

                                                              Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.

To every man up on this Earth
Death cometh soon or late
And how can man die better
Then facing fearful odds
For the ashes of his fathers
And the temples of his gods
Thomas B. Macaulay

I couldn't sleep last night, waking constantly. My joints ached badly and I absolutely found no relief in the tossing/turning. My nose was stuffed up and I quickly realized that I had allergy symptoms. This certainly was a first for me. Emily gave me one of her allergy pills and almost immediately I felt much better. Then the drowsiness set in and remained for the remainder of the day. 

To say that work was difficult would have been an understatement! My nose and majority of my face was stuffed. All I wanted was to take a nap. When one is not feeling well, everything seems such a hardship. Finally, the night was over and I couldn't wait to get into bed. Thank goodness, it is only a ten minute drive home from work!

This morning, I awakened after a deep, deep sleep. My eyelids seemed glued shut. For someone like me who isn't used to being medicated, I felt as if I had no control. I probably could have slept the day away. That's how strong that medication affected me. Perhaps, that's why I don't like using any forms of it, opting to deal without. 

My friend Marilyn would have said that the fatigue is more from all our cancer treatments rather than the medication. She might be right. I think the medication affected me so strongly, because my body is exhausted and my strength has never really returned. My body has weakened and it will be many years before it is restored. Who knows, it may never be as it was before the cancer. All I know is that I want to go back to bed.

Have a blessed day everyone.

Monday, April 22, 2019

The 100 Day Project: Day 18 Of Writing

                                                                Everyday is a brand new day,
                                                                 everyday is a journey.

The morning drum-call on my eager ear
Thrills unforgotten yet! the morning dew
Lies yet undried along my field of noon.
But now I pause a while in what I do,
And count the bell, and tremble lest I hear
(My work untrimmed) the sunset gun too soon.
—Robert Louis Stevenson.

A few months ago, I started a food journal as a way for me to monitor what I eat. Now, why would I want to do that? Well, you see, I have changed my lifestyle in the past several years. I've changed how I cook and prepare food. If I had to rate myself on how well I've done, I would say I'm at 90% way there. 

Still, there is that 10% that is preventing me from leading a healthy lifestyle. No matter what I try to do, I never quite make it there. That was the whole point of a food journal. I wanted to see what I was doing wrong. 

For one thing, I have noticed that I start off really well. At home, I do everything right. It's when I'm away from home that I make all the wrong choices. I've compiled a small list of these things. 

1. I have no willpower to say no to any kind of junk offered to me. The sweets, the fast food and the junk snacks are my worst enemies. Offer it to me and I will take it fully knowing I will not be feeling well afterwards. 

2. The first thing I do upon arriving at work is to go to the office snack table. You know what I mean? Every work has one where people bring stuff on a regular basis. That leftover birthday cake or snacks from home someone wants to de-clutter. Let's not forget the usual birthday work celebrations, retirements and the famous holiday sweet table. We have one for every holiday out there, even sweetest day.

3. I've also noticed that I would pass over a hearty breakfast, opting for a quick bagel. Bagels have plenty of sugar in them. Not a really good choice, although, I truly love them. Same thing for lunch and totally binge on my supper. No portion sizes there!

4. Which leads me into portion sizes! Yup, I have no idea what they are. I will not waste food, so I feel I need to eat everything off my plate even if I am stuffed. 

5. Recently, I have confided to someone how I eat at night, especially upon returning from a ten hour shift. This person said something quite true here. They said it's not that you eat at night, it's the fact that you are idle after eating. You go to bed. Absolutely right. 

6. I've also noticed that I don't really drink my jug of water when I am at home. I have increased my take of coffee to two large cups (equaling 4 cups total) daily. 

Having this food journal has really helped me focus on the things I need to change to get to my goal of eating 100% healthy and loving it! Now that we have discovered what is wrong, tomorrow we will talk about the changes I've implemented. See you there.

Have a blessed day everyone. 

Sunday, April 21, 2019

The 100 Day Project: Day 17 Of Writing

                                                              Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.

O power to do
baffled will
O prayer and action
ye are one
who may not strive
may yet fulfill
the harder task of standing still
and good, but wished with God is done

I often think about the trip to Arizona that my older brother Ted and I took together via the train. As much as I love the train, it wasn't that experience that made it so memorable. It was the time we spent together. We sat around and talked about many a topics. He introduced me to a gin and tonic, something I have found quite tasty. I've learned a few things about him that I didn't know until then. 

It's truly times like these that I miss so much and wish they could be experienced on a daily basis. These types of memories are priceless and not many people have them. I find myself extremely blessed to have them.

I am always amazed how many people I have come across who live life totally and completely alone by choice. Here they are facing a huge obstacle in their life with regards to their health and they shut the door on their family. And friends. Why? I have often wondered why that happens and usually to a certain type of person. 

I believe they have always been like that . . a loner, not trusting anyone. Their hearts are closed and cancer seals it even more. If they only knew what they were missing. How much better their life would become and fuller the heart would swell with love. If only they would allow to drop their guard for just a moment. They would see and feel loved. If only.

People will always be people. One cannot tell them anything. They are proud. They are unforgiving. They are hard. They are unmovable. I don't want to live like that. I need relationships. I need people who will love me and be there for me when I need them. And vice versa. Period.

HAVE a blessed day everyone. 

Saturday, April 20, 2019

The 100 Day Project: Day 16 Of Writing

                                                             Everyday is a brand new day,
                                                              everyday is a journey.

Love and Pain
Make their own measure of all things that be.
No clock's slow ticking marks their deathless strain;
The life they own is not the life we see;
Love's single moment is eternity.
—Thomas W. Higginson

How would you live each day if you knew it would be the last week of your life here on Earth? I know what I would do. I thought about this while at work the other day. Here's my top ten list of my last week of my life.

1. I would ready all the necessary paperwork so my children wouldn't have to search for anything. I would hand over to them all the passwords and documents. 

2. I would take some vacation time off from my work. No need to quit. There's insurance here to collect. Let's be smart about this, folks. 

3. I would go to the country so I would have some beautiful scenery to look at on a daily basis. No concrete or traffic, just birds singing for me every morning. 

4. I would write a letter to all my family and my friends. A good friend of mine had the opportunity to do so for her children. How awesome to be able to do that. 

5. I would eat all my favorite foods and not worry about calories or becoming fat. Extra mashed potatoes and gravy, please!

6. I would crochet and I would write. These two are my greatest joys that I have and I can't imagine not doing either. 

7. I would have long conversations, special supper times,  lovely walks with my children and grandchildren. A cup of coffee with my son every morning and family time with my daughter every evening.

8. I would power watch (binge watching) all my favorite shows and movies that I have been meaning to see. Why not? Maybe even catch up on my reading list.

9. I would pack off my Ministry supplies to a fellow crafter who would continue the work in God's name. Unless, one of my grandchildren would like to follow in my footsteps . . .then it's all theirs. 

10. I would sing all my favorite Christian worship songs at the top of my lungs. Who cares if the neighbors don't like my voice. What are they going to do? Complain? Well, I will stop on the 8th day. 

What would you guys do if this was the last week of your life?

Have a blessed day everyone. 

Friday, April 19, 2019

The 100 Day Project:Day 15 Of Writing

                                                                 Everyday is a brand new day,
                                                                 everyday is a journey.

What heart can comprehend Thy name,
Or, searching, find Thee out?
Who art within, a quickening flame,
A presence round about.
Yet though I know Thee but in part,
I ask not, Lord, for more:
Enough for me to know Thou art,
To love Thee and adore.

Every single time a Holiday approaches, I become so emotional in what that Holiday represents. Jesus died for me today. He died for us. Do you know that, my friend? Who else do you know that has died and sacrificed so much just for you?

I don't know about you, but I have no one like that in my life. Only Him. Oh, I've had many people say that to me, but could they do what He did? Just for me? Could any of us? I'm not so sure. 

It hurts me to see others treat this day as if it meant nothing. Just another day to sleep in. Just another day to spend money on. Just another day to have a huge meal made. Just another day to indulge in. Just another day.

People have forgotten the importance of what took place all those centuries ago. They are too busy preparing their Easter Egg Baskets, but not their hearts for Him. 

The World has become so materialistic. So greedy for their own pleasure. The real meaning behind every single Holiday out there has fast been getting lost in the merchandise. I hope you take a moment today to thank the One who gave up His life so we could live. Only Jesus. 

Happy Good Friday everyone.

Wednesday, April 17, 2019

The 100 Day Project: Day 14 Of Writing

                                                   Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.

Sweet is the smile of home; 
the mutual look
When hearts are of each other sure;
Sweet all the joys that crowd the household nook,
The haunt of all affections pure.

I woke up to the to the sounds of birds chirping. The sounds of Spring! I could hear them so distinctly, because my bedroom window was opened. The temperatures have been up and down all week, but today it was in the 60's. Just two days ago we had snow falling all night and all day. Crazy weather for sure!

I laid there listening to all the sounds of early morning. The birds singing, the people coming and going, the train blowing it's whistle in the distance. Yet somehow, it felt peaceful. I definitely didn't want to get up out of bed. 

These past four months of the New Year have been one of my most stressful. Or should I say, frustrating? Nothing and I mean nothing, gets done on the first try nor the second. The pension is still in process of being transferred into an IRA. The insurance, well that's another issue. Even the cable people won't leave me alone, calling me relentlessly trying to make a deal. I don't want the cable! 

Just let me lay here and bask in the quiet of the morning. 

I used to be so good at handling worry or at least, a little better at it. So why not now? Well, this is certainly uncharted waters for me. I am not educated in the ways of stocks and bonds. Or last Will and Testaments. Or many of these documents that I need to take care of . . . finally.

I want a balcony or a little patio where I can sit on in peace and quiet. That is something that Emily and I have always wanted. Just a wee bit of private outdoor space. Maybe it's time to just go and leave this concrete world behind. As I drove to visit my niece last weekend, I thought to myself as I looked around my surroundings: There are no trees here or woods. Just a whole bunch of concrete. 

Perhaps, there is a change coming and my heart can feel it? Sometimes, our hearts don't quite meet up with our brains. There is a bit of restlessness, uncertainty and a bit of fear involved in case of the unknown. Right now, I'm just glad I can hear the birds sing to me every morning. Sing on, sing on.

Have a blessed day everyone. 

Tuesday, April 16, 2019

The 100 Day Project: Day 13 Of Writing

                                                                     Everyday is a brand new day,
                                                                    everyday is a journey.

I will shun no toil or woe,
Where Thou leadest I will go,
Be my pathway plain or rough;
If but every hour may be
Spent in work that pleases Thee,
Ah, dear Lord, it is enough!

I like making lists. It helps me be more prepared in what is coming and organization settles me. I become centered on what I need on that list instead of the commotion around me. I don't over buy or overdo anything unnecessary. I love lists because they provide clarity and simplicity in a chaotic world. My mind can be muddled, but the list isn't. 

I also save every receipt, bill, documentation and actually have a huge manila envelope that I store it in for the entire year. At the end of that year, I go through it and save only the very important paperwork. I am glad in doing so, because it can become quite useful at times.

For instance, take today. The mail comes so I sit down to examine what has arrived. There were quite a few envelopes and one in particular caught my eye. It was the cable company. I was a bit puzzled, because we cancelled our account a few weeks earlier and even sent back all the equipment. I have all the receipts and confirmation numbers to prove it. 

They sent me a bill for the upcoming month. First of all, we don't even have cable anymore let alone the equipment to watch it. I called them, actually three times, because they kept redirecting me over and over again. You can imagine the frustration building in me with each redirection. Long story short, I eventually fixed the problem, but it wasn't easy. Again, they kept asking me why I cancelled. How many times are you going to ask me? I guess, it's inconceivable for them to think anyone would do so. 

Life seems to be more chaotic than ever with all these forces coming at us from all directions. I detest having to be on the phone about these types of issues, but I have noticed them to be more and more. Another envelope that came in today's mail was from Emily's old Union. That was another issue that had to be resolved. She left that job on December 1, 2018 and they were still charging her dues. Do you see what I mean? 

Here's another good example of why keeping lists and important documents on hand. Save those receipts and try to keep good records, along with good lists. Organization saves many, many incidents from escalating even more. 

Have a blessed day everyone. 

Monday, April 15, 2019

The 100 Day Project: Day 12 Of Writing

                                                 Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey. 

Drop Thy still dews of quietness,
Till all our strivings cease;
Take from our souls the strain and stress,
And let our ordered lives confess
The beauty of Thy peace.

It snowed yesterday. It began as rain, then sleet and finally, a heavy snow. Every single time I looked out the window, it was worse than before. It just snowed and snowed and snowed right in the middle of April, a mere week before Easter. That was a first for me. I have seen many types of cold spells for Easter, but never snow. 

It just shows you how little control we truly have on this Earth. Life happens whether we are ready for it or not. Which brings me to my cancer anniversary that is coming up. I've been thinking this weekend about that moment when it does come back. First, I want to say that I have made my peace with my diagnosis of cancer being in my life forever. Yet, the longer we stay in remission, the harder it is when it does come back. The longest remission for me was 4 1/2 years and right now, I'm at 2 1/2 years.

That may sound weird to you, but look at it from my perspective. The longer the cancer lays dormant, the more we live our life as normal. We soon begin to forget what it was like for us. We can easily become complacent about oncology appointments or Ct. scans or blood work or regular doctor routines. Cancer treatments have a way of keeping us vigilant about these things.

None of us know what will happen in the next moment let alone a month or even a year. We may have a small inkling, but never truly the reality. Who knows? I may be free from cancer forever or it could come back at my next appointment. The point here is that this upcoming anniversary is a very important one for me in many ways. I do have something planned for it so you'll just have to wait and see. Consider this a sneak preview, lol.

Have a blessed day everyone. 

Saturday, April 13, 2019

The 100 Day Project: Day 11 Of Writing

                                              Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey. 

Not by the terrors of a slave
God's sons perform His will,
But with the noblest powers they have
His sweet commands fulfil.

It's funny how a small change can lift one's spirits. One can rearrange the furniture in a room or change the curtains. Suddenly, it feels new and exciting. I've been thinking along those lines in reference to my bedroom.

My bedroom has always been more than just a place to sleep at night. It has always held a multi-purpose. Even when my children were babies, it was a nursery for awhile. As they grew, so did the purpose of my bedroom. When they were in school, it held all the materials I needed to be on the PTA board and a Den Mother. Everything was stored there in the corner of the room.

Children grew even older and became tweens and teenagers, I had a nice little second job working from home. There were plenty of Post Office bins stacked high next to my desk and computer. I loved that second job, but alas, it ended after a year. 

Now, my bedroom has taken on even more purpose. Three, in fact: I sleep there, I write my blog, Ministry work and supplies. My Ministry has really exploded and suddenly I'm running out of room. It has been five years already since we have begun, it's only natural for us to grow. 

I think it's time to redecorate or redesign this space so it can work for me a little better. There are several stains and smudges that need to be painted over, hopefully in a different color. Right now, it's a mustard color of sort and I'm thinking along the lines of a light mocha or tan. Maybe even rearrange the furniture. Who knows? Either way, this should be my next purge project of 2019. Let's see where it will take us.

Have a blessed day everyone. 

The 100 Day Project: Day 10 Of Writing

                                                   Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.

With grateful hearts the past we own;
  The future, all to us unknown,
  We to Thy guardian care commit,
  And peaceful leave before Thy feet.

The day began well, really well. Emily was off from work, so we both got up early. By 9 a.m., two loads of laundry was done and a supper of polenta lasagna sat on the stove ready for later. The kitchen cleanup took mere minutes when two pairs of hands are working together. 

It's funny how on some days we can accomplish so much more than the usual routine. If only that could happen on a regular basis, but alas, our bodies and minds are made a bit differently. We wander. We can't help it really. 

That was my morning. Here I am at work and there is nothing to do . . . . again. For the past several weeks it has been incredibly slow. I have tried to occupy myself as best as I can by cleaning out my draws and my mobile cart. When that was done, I walked the packaging floor collecting plastic liner bags for my homeless mats. Already my little HHR is loaded with several huge bags of them and my room has at least three or four. Plenty of material for my mats! That was last week. Now What?

Again, my mind began to wander to places and things it shouldn't. Remember what they say about idle hands? Well, it's the same for the mind. It's extremely difficult to appear busy when one is not. So the mind wanders and  mostly we seem to remember the bad moments. The accusations. The separations. The arguments. The guilt and the hurt lay heavily on our idle mind.

We like to revert to the past, don't we? No matter how much we like to deny it and proclaim how modern we are by moving forward. We are so much better than the people who have hurt us, yet in moments such as these, we go there. We go back revisiting the hurt. Idle minds and idle hands are truly the devil's work, make no mistake about that. 

So I've been fighting it. Resisting these thoughts all because I have nothing to do on these slow days at work. It's funny, because at home I am so busy and the opposite is true at work. So I've been keeping as busy as I can visiting other co-workers, making lists or plans for future projects. I don't want to dwell in those bad moments. Don't go there, just keep moving, one step at a time. 

Have a blessed day everyone. 

Friday, April 12, 2019

The 100 Day Project: Day 9 Of Writing

                                                                  Everyday is a brand new day,
                                                                  everyday is a journey.

Not as the conqueror comes,
They, the true-hearted, came;
Not with the roll of the stirring drums,
And the trumpet songs of fame:
Amidst the storm they sang,
And the stars heard and the sea;
And the sounding aisles of the dim woods rang
To the anthem of the free.
Ay, call it holy ground,
The soil where first they trod;
They have left unstained what there they found—
Freedom to worship God.
—Felicia D. Hemans.

Why does the weekend always fly by? I mean, I had such high hopes and instead, only half came through. I wonder if I hadn't slept in on Saturday last weekend, would I have had accomplished a bit more? Probably, but then, I need sleep way more than anything else.

Here we are a whole week later and it doesn't seem like this upcoming weekend will be any different. First of all, how did Easter sneak up on me so fast? I thought it was weeks away, but alas, Sunday is Palm Sunday already. Now, I'm really freaking out!

One week left before Easter and I haven't even thought of Easter. It was almost upon us. When? How? Tomorrow, I have to post a vlog on my YouTube for a giveaway I was doing. Time to announce the winner. Afterwards, I'm heading out to visit my niece Katherine, who is having a Girl's Party in the afternoon. By the time I get home, it will be evening. the whole day would have been gone. At least, I will be bringing with me her blanket. If you want to see the story behind that blanket, I did do a YouTube vlog all about it. I'm a bit anxious whether she will like it or not. She is crochet worthy.

The rest of the weekend, I need to take care of two things for sure. One, my bedroom once again has been hit by a tsunami. Actually, a couple of them. I would be horrified if anyone saw it. There is so much stuff there, mostly Ministry related, that there is a small path leading from the door to my desk where I can work from. I really need to redo this room somehow so it can work for me. It seems that the Ministry is exploding big time, which is good. I need more room.

Two, I need to finish my mom's blanket. Originally, I wanted to surprise her since she was going away for about 8 days to visit her friend in Indiana. I wanted to finish it and leave it on the couch so when she walked back into her apartment, she would see it first thing. A nice surprise. Now, I'm not sure if I can do it. She is coming back this Sunday afternoon. I will definitely do my very best. 

So much to do and not enough time to do it. I feel like we are rushing through these Holidays without fully enjoying what they represent. We are so busy being busy in preparation for them, that we don't truly experience them. We need to slow down. I need to slow down. 

HAVE A blessed day everyone. 

Thursday, April 11, 2019

The 100 Day Project: Day 8 Of Writing

                                                                 Everyday is a brand new day,
                                                                   everyday is a journey.

Let thy day be to the night
A letter of good tidings! Let thy praise
Go up as birds go up--that when they awake,
Shake off the dew and soar.
--Jean Ingelow.

Sometimes, I want to find a small house like the one above and just plain hide from everyone. I guess I live an Imaginary Life within my head. When life becomes too much, I daydream about that life. I can see it clearly in my mind. The furnishings, the color of the walls and the layout of the cottage vividly can be seen. I can see myself going about my everyday life according to me.

This week has been difficult to say the least. At least, at work. Every job has the same type of people in it. You have the troublemakers who like to stir up things between others. Then you have the ones who are always miserable and take it out on others. Then there are the ones who get along with everyone and try to keep the peace. Well, the troublemaker's and the miserable's have really kicked up a storm at work this week. 

I'm tired emotionally and I need to retreat into that secluded cabin above. Have you ever felt like that? I have, but honestly, I think we all have a secret imaginary life. Some of us escape by reading and others by playing videos games where they save the world. Some even watch movies and pretend they are the hero or heroine. We all have ways of escaping into these secret worlds of ours. 

There's nothing wrong with it unless we forget what is reality and what is fantasy. There are people who escape into the imaginary and never come back out. That can be very scary. Don't fall into that trap. Another escape is living in the past, romanticizing something that is not. That's even scarier. Believe me, the past is the past for a reason. Don't live there.

What do you escape to? What is your imaginary life like? Can you escape back into reality when you're done? I certainly hope so.

HAVE a blessed day everyone. 

Yarn Bombing My Life

                            Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey. Some murmur if their sky is clear, And wholly bright ...