Just A Dream

Everyday is a brand new day,everyday is a journey.

Ah, friend, let us be true
To one another! For the world, which seems
To lie before us like a land of dreams,
So various, so beautiful, so new,
Hath really neither joy, nor love, nor light,
Nor certitude, nor peace, nor help for pain,
And we are here as on a darkling plain
Swept with confused alarms of struggle and flight,
Where ignorant armies clash by night. --Matthew Arnold.
Dreaming! We all dream while in the land of nod, don't we? What's funny is that we all have a re-occurring dream. You know the one I'm talking about. For me, it is always about yarn, tons and tons of yarn. The theme may be the same, but the scenery and act changes every time. 

My most recent one involved my father. I was in his house in Arizona, exploring every single room. I went down into what looked like a back room that had multiple boxes. In these boxes I found some yarn, quite a bit of yarn. I…

Sunday Morning Nomad Pt.?

Everyday is a brand new day,
                                                                          everyday is a journey.

Trials must and will befall;
But with humble faith to see
Love inscribed upon them all,
This is happiness to me.

These past few years, I've been a Sunday morning nomad, roaming from church to church not wanting to belong anywhere. After serving for over six straight years on a regular basis, I felt burnt out and in desperate need for spiritual rebirth within my soul. I had absolutely no desire to belong anywhere, let alone serve. 

For awhile that has served me well, visiting different churches and seeing how they run. I could go in and be part of the service without being part of the church family. I didn't have to make small talk with anyone. I didn't have to volunteer my services. I didn't have to get involved in someone's life.  I could go in and out like bandit.


Walking Boldly

Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.

There lies thy cross; beneath it meekly bow;
It fits thy stature now;
Who scornful pass it with averted eye,
'Twill crush them by and by.

I'm not spending my life walking in fear. When I think about all the times I've been scared in my life, it makes me mad at myself. Being scared affected everything I did. It prevented me from living. Not anymore. This woman is walking boldly with no fear at all. At least, on the outside, lol. On the inside I'm shaking like a leaf, but that won't stop me from living out my life boldly.

This is my journey, my cancer journey. No one can walk that road for me, except me. The only person I WANT on that journey is Jesus to walk beside me and carry me when I no longer can go on. 

My grandmother was a fierce woman. A bold woman. She believed in not giving up. You may be sobbing hysterically and shaking, but you stand your groun…

A Restless Day

Everyday is a brand new day,
                                                                         everyday is a journey.

It is the secret sympathy, The silver link, the silken tie, Which heart to heart and mind to mind In body and in soul can bind. --Sir Walter Scott.
Being off so many days in a row left me restless. Even though my days were filled with things to do, I still would patter around the apartment feeling lazy and listless. I realized that we need to work, to have a job. Or at least, I do. As much as I love being at home, occasionally I need to get out.

I remember Joey's kindergarten teacher telling me how she had to move the children around from one activity to the next so they wouldn't become restless. They would sit in a circle for story time and then they had art in a separate corner of the room. There was sit down at their desk time and another space for every lesson throughout the day. …

Work And Treatment

Everyday is a brand new day,
                                                                       everyday is a journey.

The thing that goes the farthest
Toward making life worth while,
That costs the least, and does the most,
Is just a pleasant smile.
That smile that bubbles from a heart
That loves its fellow men
Will drive away the cloud of gloom
And coax the sun again. --Anonymous.
I was thinking the other day, how difficult it is becoming to be 
sick chronically and still be able to work. It's becoming more and more difficult to balance the two. As understanding and compassionate as the average workplace claims to be, their long term disability and policies take away from the financial side by reducing the percentage we will receive to almost half our income. 

Business is business and we should never confuse ourselves into thinking that money doesn't talk. No matter how compassionate they may seem, mone…

The Group

Everyday is a brand new day,
                                                          everyday is a journey.

Sit down, sad soul, and count
The moments flying;
Come, tell the sweet amount
That's lost by sighing!
How many smiles?--a score?
Then laugh, and count no more;
For day is dying. Lie down sad soul, and sleep,
And no more measure
The flight of time, nor weep
The loss of leisure;
But here by this lone stream,
Lie down with us, and dream
Of starry treasure. --Bryan Waller Procter.
After much procrastination, I have finally decided to debut my Chronic Illness Group. You know, there are things in life that happen that are not in my control. I found that out during my radiation treatment last year. I didn't want to minister to anyone, but to myself, but God had other plans. From that to here. 

I put a lot of thought into how this group would work, what it should be about and what I wanted from it. The problem came from an unexpected tur…

The Glasses

Everyday is a bran new day,
                                                          everyday i8s a journey.

Weary of myself and sick of asking
What I am, and what I ought to be,
At the vessel's prow I stand, which bears me
Forward, forward, o'er the starlit sea O air-born voice! long since severely clear,
A cry like thine in my own heart I hear.
Resolve to be thyself: and know that he
Who finds himself, loses his misery. --Matthew Arnold.
So I've been meaning to get new glasses for years and years now, always coming up with reasons why it cannot be this minute. I have a way of putting off anything to do with me as if my needs weren't as important as my families. All moms do that. 

I think it has to do more with making the time to go. We all know it will take time and that's something very precious to us all. To be more honest, I'm just lazy. I could be doing something a lot more fun. At least in my own crazy mind…