Understanding Ovarian Cancer

Everyday is a brand new day,
                                                                    everyday is a journey.

All common things, each day's events
That with the hour begin and end,
Our pleasures and our discontents
Are rounds by which we may ascend. --Henry W. Longfellow.
Boy, have I learned a lot in these past ten years in regards to my cancer! In all of this time, I've never gotten technical with my cancer. Rarely, will I post stories full of medical terminology that no one can understand. I know I don't want to read that kind of stuff.

Yet, I find myself thinking that others may not feel the same. Maybe, someone has a need to know, because they may be in that season where I was once.. . .searching. So this post is for you.

I have stage 3 ovarian cancer. My cancer is a re-occurring cancer which means it comes back after a time. It can come back in the same place or somewhere else. Mine always comes back …

That Crazy Mat Lady

Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.

We scatter seeds with careless hands,
And dream we ne'er shall see them more;
But for a thousand years
Their fruit appears
In weeds that mar the land. --John Keble
Getting my hair done the other week, I was asked the 64,000 question. 

Do you still crochet for that Ministry? Of course. Your not crocheting now like you used to. Well, I'm working on homeless mats out of plastic. Out of what? Plastic.

She sits down and smiles at me, not saying a word. I asked her why she was smiling and she just shook her head. It was a weird smile, you know, like she found it crazy. Like I was crazy. 

This happens quite a lot. People look at me weird like why would I even consider doing something like that? And then with plastic? They don't have time for this silly nonsense of mine. 

It never fails, every time I'm seen collecting or carrying these plastic bags, someone has to ask that que…

The Parking Spot

Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.

O Love, how cheering is Thy ray!
    All pain before Thy presence flies;
  Care, anguish, sorrow, melt away,
    Where'er Thy healing beams arise.
  O Father, nothing may I see,
  Nothing desire, or seek, but Thee.

I have mentioned before my company's commitment to fundraising for breast cancer. One of their newest fundraiser happens to be raffling off two parking spaces near the door. Actually, it's not that new. It has been around for about a year now. 

I've never really been into this fundraising, opting to buy a raffle ticket only once before. To me, I didn't mind parking way in the back. It is what it is. 

One day, the raffle is going on and I just happen to have a ten in my pocket. That's a rarity since I don't carry paper money on me. All my bills are paid on-line, therefore, I don't carry any on me. That day, I had that ten and tho…

Radiation Therapy

Everyday is a brand new day,
                                                                                  everyday is a journey.

Drop thy still dews of quietness
till all our strivings cease.
Take from our souls the strain
and stress and let our ordered
lives confess the beauty
of thy peace.
J.G. Whittier

Of all the treatment I ever had, I hated radiation the most. Yet, it was this treatment, plus the surgery that has made it possible for me to be in remission and no scans until next year. We ponder. What exactly is radiation? How does it work? How harmful is it really?

ra·di·a·tion ther·a·py
ˌrādēˈāSHən ˈTHerəpē/ noun noun: radiation treatment the treatment of disease, especially cancer, using X-rays or similar forms of radiation.

Radiation, as explained to me by the nurse, works best on a daily basis. The cancer is attacked in the same way as when one pops popcorn. As the corns are heated, they explode p…

Look At Me Now

Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.

 Love had he found in huts where poor men lie;
  His daily teachers had been woods and rills,
  The silence that is in the starry sky,
  The sleep that is among the lonely hills.
  W. Wordsworth.

I've changed so much over the years, I scarcely recognize myself nor the life I've led back then. I sometimes wonder if I still would be who I am today if I hadn't been diagnosed with stage 3 ovarian cancer. Not only have I changed on the outside, but on the inside. 

Many people look at me now and think what a great attitude I hold in regards to my cancer. Little do they know, it has taken me ten years to get here. Believe me when I say, there is still plenty of work left on myself that I have kept hidden from view. I understand that it is something that may take a lifetime. 

Of all the people I've met since my diagnosis, I miss Linda the most. In a way, she was the…

The Negativity Trap

Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.

I heard a voice in the darkness singing
(That was a valiant soul I knew),
And the joy of his song was a wild bird winging
Swift to his mate through a sky of blue. And his song was of love and all its bringing
And of certain day when the night was through;
I raised my eyes where the hope was springing,
And I think in his heaven God smiled too
(That was a valiant soul I knew). --J. Stalker.
As I listened to Emily's rampage of all the terrible things that have happened to her throughout her day, I realized she sounded just like me. So negative! She learned it from her mother.

I don't think we realize the impact we make on our children nor the people around us. We just assume we are good. We go to Church. We read the Bible. We haven't killed anyone. Therefore, we must be good. Well, we are not.

Just like the Israelites of the Bible, we complain and complain from sunrise to sundown. It'…

My Testimony

Everyday is a brand new day,
                                                            everyday is a journey.

We live in deeds, not years: 
in thoughts, not breaths:
In feelings, not in figures on a dial.
We should count time by heart-throbs. 
He most lives
Who thinks most, feels the noblest, 
acts the best. --Philip James Bailey.
I remember being Baptized eight years ago. It was September 28, 2008. I remember trying desperately to find something to say before my Baptism. We all were taken to the front of the Church Sanctuary facing everyone in the Congregation. We had to make a small speech of why we chose Baptism in our lives. I remember very clearly a good friend of ours saying to me she couldn't wait to hear my Testimony. 
What? My Testimony! Believe me, the last thing I wanted to do is stand in front of people I hardly knew and tell them my story. Newbie that I was, I thought that it meant I had to list all my wrong doings a…