Part 10

Be careful what you ask for . . . . . I wanted a reversal colostomy so I wouldn't walk around with that darn poop bag ! Well , I got it ! The problem was my body hasn't performed in the natural way for four months . My friends , there is nothing more painful than trying to go to the bathroom .

I tried everything : laxatics were no help whatsoever , prune juice equals nada , exercise produced only gas , dairy tasted good , heated pad brought on sweating . This went on for two whole weeks . Not being able to go is painful !

During this time , my phone never stopped ringing with friends calling . On one particular day , I sat there with a heating pad on when a call came in . She asked me how I was feeling . . . . . . .that was the end of me . I burst out crying , no sobbing ! I've had enough .

I've been through alot in these past four months . There have been moments where I've asked God to take me because of the pain . . . . but this was just too much ! As I talked with her , everything spilt over . . . .every emotion that has been bottled up all these months . I couldn't stop crying .

Later that day , the phone kept ringing like never before . It seemed that everyone wanted to see how I was doing . I found out later that my friend was worried I had given up and told everyone to call me with encouragement .

That was the last time I ever broke down in front of others . I've learned to keep a positive , upbeat attitude in public . People became scared when I'm depressed and start worrying  needlessly . I say needlessly , because there are many downs when you have an illness and it's very normal to become depressed once in awhile . Sometimes , you just want to have a good cry , but once you're done , you pick yourself up again .

After my meltdown , I felt better and eventually things started to work normally again . Tomorrow is the final chapter of my saga . Until then , have a Blessed night everyone .