Part 9

It was during my fourth infection that my doctor decided he had enough and ordered the removal of the pic line . Instead , I was given a port which goes under my skin on my chest . Another frustration for my doctor was this fischula and the mesh . All these issues were preventing the start of my chemo . I only had one treatment , so my doctor was getting anxious with continuing .

So the decision was made to try to fix this fischula and take out some of this troublesome mesh . During this time , I still had my colostomy . That dreaded poop bag ! They promised me a reversal and I was afraid it would never happen . You know that saying " be careful what you ask for " ? Well , I got my reversal . The surgery date was scheduled .

Since I had one treatment of chemo , my hair fell out within ten days . I tried to prepare myself by cutting my hair real short . When it was time to shave it off , no one wanted to do it . Finally , my sister-in-law agreed . I never thought that I would become so emotional , but as I watched the last of my hair fall away , my eyes teared up . Being bald was such a statement of cancer . I was sick and I looked it . There was no denying it now .

As the surgery approached , I was getting very nervous . My last surgery was horrendous and the memory still very fresh in my mind . My cancer therapist still visited me occasionally while at the hospital to see how I was doing . She would close the blinds and turn off the lights . Tell me to close my eyes , she would speak softly reminding me to think myself somewhere safe and pleasant and calm . Sometimes , she used music and let me tell you , it worked . It calms a person and it also helps with  the pain .

 This surgery was a breeze and the entire experience was  wonderful . What a difference a hospital makes ! For the first time since this whole cancer ordeal , I could actually eat regular food at the hospital . I couldn't wait to experience that food cart that went around every evening ! The only problem was that with all these medications I have been on all these months , my palate was gone . Nothing tasted good to me anymore . Alas , when the moment finally arrives ........

I started this journey in late May and here it was the first week in October already . The physical part ends and the soul searching begins .
Have a Blessed Week everyone .