Halfway Point

This approaching month will be my halfway point with the current treatment . So where am I at ? How do I feel ? What are your side effects ? How are you ? These are the main questions I have been asked .

So where am I ?
People seem to be worried how I'm handling this re-occurence . They don't want to believe me when I tell them I'm good . They're expecting me to fall apart , especially Linda . When I tell her , she stares at me in disbelief . Why ? Because Linda still hasn't accepted her condition . She still is at the angry and the why stage .

If I'm angry , it's not about this . I do hope that my next re-occurence will be a longer interval in between like a few years . That would be awesome .

How do I feel ?
I never quite know how to answer that one . Should I really be honest and go into a lengthy and descriptive answer ? Or should I say what everyone expects to hear like " I'm feeling okay " ? I usually opt for the latter and say " it is what it is " .

Honestly ? By the time the halfway point comes ( 3 months ) , I'm fed up with everything . I want it over . Usually by now the side effects are in full force and my endurance is at a low . Yeah , it's getting old at this point .

What are your side effects ?

People usually think that all cancer patients react the same way , which is not true . I've had three different types of chemo in the last six years and I've had three different kinds of side effects . My hands are red , dry , cracked and blotchy . I have a rash on my armpits , under my breasts , my thighs and not to mention some other private places . The palms and balls of my feet ache like callouses . My feet hurt .

At my last infusion , I only had the rashes on my thighs and head which my doctor didn't feel it was caused by my chemo , but something I have started using recently . I have used the same products  for years . Gave me some pills and a cream . That was then . Now , my other list above has appeared and I'm curious what she will say caused it this time . It's not even a red rash but a darkened color . We will find out this Friday .

How are you ?
I'm crappy , that's how I am . I'm itchy and scratchy . My hands hurt . My feet hurt . I'm tired and sleep the whole weekend away . Otherwise , I'm okay . How are you ? Plus , I've gained 5 1/2 pounds last month . Who knows how much next ? So how am I ? I'm ready for it to  be over and I'm crabby .

P.S.
 I am proud of myself for downloading my first pic !
Have a Blessed Day everyone , even if I am crabby.