Whenever we see people with a chronic illness , we usually focus only on them . We forget about those " other " people who spend their time taking care of their loved one . They are the family members and friends who are also going through the same illness but on an emotional level .
The subject came up when I read of a woman who became disabled and her husband ended up abusing her after many years of taking care of her . At first , I was so upset over this . How could anyone do that to someone they supposedly loved ?
First , I want to say how much I detest abuse of any kind . I am not excusing anyone's behavior , but we hear so many stories of caregivers being overwhelmed and becoming bitter towards their loved one . So I asked Emily and her answer left me speechless .
It's all about the patient . Everybody wants to know about you . How you are feeling ? Giving you hugs and praying for you . What about me ? No one wants to ask how I am dealing with all of this . Maybe I need a hug or a prayer . I have to watch you go through this . Maybe I have something to say , but no one wants to ask or offer any kind of support .
You know , she is right . I made an observation the other day in Sunday School . Everyone kept coming up to me , hugging me , praying over me and yet , only one person came to her . Does it look like the patient may need it more than the family member ? Maybe , we both need the same amount .
We forget about the family and what they may be going through . Who listens to them ? I know there are support groups , but what about us everyday people that they come in contact with ? Maybe we can pray for the whole family ? Or give that pat on the arm for reassurance ? Maybe ask them to go to a movie to get their minds off health issues .
I am not criticizing anyone , an illness is difficult on everyone . I know that Emily certainly has opened my eyes to her emotional state . I need to spend more time listening to her feelings and thoughts , not just voicing my own complaints . Many times , she has asked me to write about " people in her position ". So , Emily , this blog is for you .
Have a Blessed Day everyone .
Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey. Some murmur if their sky is clear, And wholly bright ...