Tuesday, February 26, 2013

The Others

Whenever we see people with a chronic illness , we usually focus only on them . We forget about those " other " people who spend their time taking care of their loved one . They are the family members and friends who are also going through the same illness but on an emotional level .

 The subject came up when I read of a woman who became disabled and her husband ended up abusing her after many years of taking care of her . At first , I was so upset over this . How could anyone do that to someone they supposedly loved ?

First , I want to say how much I detest abuse of any kind . I am not excusing anyone's behavior , but we hear so many stories of caregivers being overwhelmed and becoming bitter towards their loved one . So I asked Emily and her answer left me speechless .

It's all about the patient . Everybody wants to know about you . How you are feeling ? Giving you hugs and praying for you . What about me ? No one wants to ask how I am dealing with all of this . Maybe I need a hug or a prayer . I have to watch you go through this . Maybe I have something to say , but no one wants to ask or offer any kind of support .

You know , she is right . I made an observation the other day in Sunday School . Everyone kept coming up to me , hugging me , praying over me and yet , only one person came to her . Does it look like the patient may need it more than the family member ? Maybe , we both need the same amount .

We forget about the family and what they may be going through .  Who listens to them ? I know there are support groups , but what about us everyday people that they come in contact with ? Maybe we can pray for the whole family ? Or give that pat on the arm for reassurance ? Maybe ask them to go to a movie to get their minds off health issues .

I am not criticizing anyone , an illness is difficult on everyone . I know that Emily certainly has opened my eyes to her emotional state  . I need to spend more time listening to her feelings and thoughts , not just voicing my own complaints . Many times , she has asked me to write about " people in her position ". So , Emily , this blog is for you .
Have a Blessed Day everyone .

1 comment:

  1. This post made me cry, Lottie! You are so very right. Your daughter is young and, yet, God has been placed her there "for such a time as this..." To share, to support, to love you through this every day. Nobody else has been asked by God to do that in that way. I am so glad you wrote this for her. She has to be very, very special to you. May God encourage her today. Everything she does for you, she does for Jesus, who will see to it that she receives her reward long after she has forgotten what she did "for love of her momma..." God bless you both...


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