A Thorn From God

 A thorn is anything that irritates , nags and frustrates on a continuous level . It could be a person , a thing , a situation , a health issue .

I think we all have a thorn that forever digs deeply into our sides  and no matter how much we try , we just can't get that thorn out . In my situation , one clearly can assume it is my health . . . my cancer , but that is not my thorn .

For me , it is a person that I work with . For the last 15 years or so , I have been in different departments and shifts  and each time , somehow , my thorn would always end up with me .

She frustrates me , irritates me , angers me . I have felt every emotion concerning her , even jealousy . In the last five years , I have really tried to change all of that . I've tried to love her . For awhile , I actually thought I have succeeded . Everytime that I feel close to loving her , she does something immorally against all my principles where I retreat back to my old emotions regarding her .

Loving someone you clearly don't agree with is one of the most difficult things to do . For every step I make with her , I retreat three back . It's almost not her personality that I'm fighting with , but with satan . My girlfriend said that maybe we can't love them . That some people you just can't love . I don't want to believe that because I am a Christian and I believe in Jesus' love .

How do I love her ? I ask myself that everyday .This is a continuous battle I want to overcome . I don't need to become her best friend , I just don't want her to get a reaction out of me . For awhile there , I thought she would go to another shift and I was esctatic . Finally , I would be rid of her , but my thorn isn't going anywhere . Maybe , what I need to do is change my perception of her because , you see , these thorns are sent from God to help us learn .

A few years back , there was a couple who worked with me and he was physically abusive to her . If there is anything that I'm passionate about it's women beaters . I couldn't stand looking at this man . I refused to speak to him . I was so angry at his actions that I isolated him from my life . If I saw him coming , I would walk in the opposite direction .

Then one day , I thought to myself , how is my refusal to speak to him changing his behavior ? It isn't . It doesn't make him stop . It doesn't change his lifestyle at all . I decided that the best thing I could do for him is to pray that he changes his life and that's what I did . I prayed for him . They both no longer work here . I have no idea if he ever did change his life , but I like to think he did .

That's my point , you see . Maybe , I need to stop seeing all the things wrong with her . Stop trying to change her to be the way I want her to be . What I should be doing is praying that she becomes closer to God . That she develops a relationship with Him and He can work inside of her .

Easier said then done , I know , but it's worth a try because I do not want to be filled with hate . Eventually , that's what will happen to me regarding her . I need to do something . I have to love my neighbor .

Have a Blessed Week everyone .