Saturday, April 27, 2013

F For Frustration

The door slammed with all the pent up aggravation of the entire month . It felt good ! As much as I have loved my neighbors these past two years , this month alone , my patience has been tested .

Our building has been in the process of being sold . Every couple of days , a letter would be slipped under our door informing us of a building code inspection , a showing , installation of fire alarms etc . The list is endless . All of this in the morning when I'm trying to get some sleep , but I endured it all with some dignity . . . .  and patience .

I've wanted to do some laundry and for whatever reason , the washer and dryer was occupied . I kept running up and down the stairs with my basket and each time it was for naught .
My impatience grew as the hours slipped from one to three . In the laundry basket were  some garments I wanted to wear for work .

That last run downstairs really was the last straw and I lost it . BAM ! The door slammed with full force . I think the entire building shook . And it felt good .

Immediately , the anger left me . I think I needed that . . . .  but it bothered me . Why did I explode in the first place ? I haven't felt such anger in years .

All month long , I walked around with a smile on my face , regardless of all the change that has been going on in my life . My chemo wasn't working , my home was disrupted . . . . changes and more changes everyday . I smiled and made lemonade with all those lemons .

BUT . . . . deep down inside I wasn't liking it one bit . I thought I left all that house stuff when I moved into the apartment so I wouldn't have to deal with it . As to my health . Aren't I supposed to do my six months and get a break until the next time ?

Changes . . . no one likes them .
Have a Blessed day everyone .

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