Changes In The Air

After I left my doctor's office , I felt like changes were in store for me  . Each time I go through treatment , sudden new changes emerge from the experience . A growth . . . . an acceptance . . . . an adaptation to this lifestyle .

All of my life , change has held me back . Or I should say , fear of change . I've always been afraid . Afraid of not making it financially : or failing in a  lasting relationship : or of making a huge mistake with decision making . I would surround myself with people that I could run to whenever change happened . Let them take care of me . Sometimes , I'd run from situations because of fear .

As I've  traveled on this journey of mine , I've asked God for spiritual growth . My , has He provided the experiences for that growth ! My tendencies have always included clinging to people to take care of these changes , instead of clinging to God . His response ? To take away these people .

As I sit here , fully knowing that changes are here yet again , making their way into my life . . . . I'm afraid . The buoys in my life are gone and I have to float on faith . It's so easy to say , but so hard to really do .

I think back to all the other times I've been afraid . I didn't learn to drive until I was 35 years old , but I can remember the satisfaction of achievement in getting that drivers  license . I was scared of living on my own and yet , it's been the best decision of my life .

All these times , changes occurred . Changes that were forced on me , because I was too afraid to make them on my own . Yet , every single one was a much needed change for the improvements in my life . A step forward that needed to be made . An act of faith to display .

Yes , change is in the air . Have a Blessed day everyone .