After I left my doctor's office , I felt like changes were in store for me . Each time I go through treatment , sudden new changes emerge from the experience . A growth . . . . an acceptance . . . . an adaptation to this lifestyle .
All of my life , change has held me back . Or I should say , fear of change . I've always been afraid . Afraid of not making it financially : or failing in a lasting relationship : or of making a huge mistake with decision making . I would surround myself with people that I could run to whenever change happened . Let them take care of me . Sometimes , I'd run from situations because of fear .
As I've traveled on this journey of mine , I've asked God for spiritual growth . My , has He provided the experiences for that growth ! My tendencies have always included clinging to people to take care of these changes , instead of clinging to God . His response ? To take away these people .
As I sit here , fully knowing that changes are here yet again , making their way into my life . . . . I'm afraid . The buoys in my life are gone and I have to float on faith . It's so easy to say , but so hard to really do .
I think back to all the other times I've been afraid . I didn't learn to drive until I was 35 years old , but I can remember the satisfaction of achievement in getting that drivers license . I was scared of living on my own and yet , it's been the best decision of my life .
All these times , changes occurred . Changes that were forced on me , because I was too afraid to make them on my own . Yet , every single one was a much needed change for the improvements in my life . A step forward that needed to be made . An act of faith to display .
Yes , change is in the air . Have a Blessed day everyone .
Floating on faith... Easy to say - so hard to really do. Amen, Lottie, I couldn't agree more. But, then, again, if we weren't pretty much terrified, we really wouldn't need any faith. It has always been, and is still true today, in my life, that it's only when I can't handle it myself that I turn in desperation, searching for the only One who really knows what I'm going through. Praying for you, dear friend. He has you in the palm of His hand, "through it all..."
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