Cancel That

   Lately , I've been canceling my doctor appointments . It all started with just one cancellation because of my doctor going on vacation . Then I was going on vacation . After that , it just became quite easy to miss an appointment for whatever reason .
  I thought nothing of it . My calendar was full with pleasant company and exciting activities . Why should I worry about a mere doctor appointment . Fun was more what I was after .
  I broke a golden rule of mine and I didn't even realize I was doing it until it was done . I have made a point in the past never to miss a test or doctor visit . Being diligent is what caught the return of my cancer quite early .
  Thinking back , I'm trying to figure out how I ever let it get to this point . Or better still , why did I let it get this far .
  I think the main reason was that after being sick for so long it felt good to be free of medicines and everything that comes with it . Like a prisoner who has been given her freedom , I exploded into the world in full force  leaving all my experiences behind as if they didn't mean anything to me .
   Please don't worry , I'm only two or three weeks behind with my appointments . I'm seeing two of my doctors tomorrow  and I'm sure I'll get a slap on my wrist for my negligence .
     Already , I feel tension in the pit of my stomache . This happens everytime I have an appointment . Waiting for the other shoe to fall type of feeling . I suspect this feeling will never end .
   Have a Blessed Week everyone !!