A Monday's Shame

This morning I arose very early, my mind in turmoil and stomach all up in knots. Emily and I both had dental appointments with specialists regarding the removal of some teeth. For Emily, it was her wisdom tooth and for me a long awaited  partial.

I was more than afraid, I was ashamed at the status of my oral hygiene. In the past decade, my teeth were the last thing on my mind. We can all place the blame on my cancer and I didn't have the time, but that would be a lie.

The state of my health, both physical and oral, lays at my feet. There is no scapegoat, there is only me. I never been good at looking after myself and I let it all fall apart.

Honestly, this past decade, it has been my shame that has prevented me from moving forward. I tried to hide it by not smiling often, because I didn't want anyone to see my shame.

This morning I thought about that shame, reminding me of the shame we feel as we come before Christ. We cower, we blame others, we hide. We rather give up and retreat before showing that shame to anyone. What would they think? What would they say if they knew?

How can we come before Christ when we can't even forgive ourselves?

People believe, but are too afraid and not willing to face their shame in case they are ridiculed and made to feel like outcasts.

I am ashamed, but I know I have to go and make the change to a healthier life, no matter how low my head may hang.

Have a Blessed day everyone.