In My Likeness

   Whenever I see a parent who has a  child that is a mini replica of them , I feel envious . I've always wanted a child who looks just like me . . . . completely .
   I had four children , two that died when they were babies and the other two are adults now . As I look at my Joey and Emily , I see a small likeness but not much . They both had different fathers and it seems they took after them in looks . When we were young and in love , we wanted them to look like their dad, didn't we ?
   The older we get , the more we want to leave something of ourselves behind . We want to see ourselves in our children . The fact that I have cancer plays a big part in all of this . I was here and I want to be remembered .
   As any parent out there , I wanted to see grandchildren before I died . Not only did I want grandchildren but also to have a relationship with them . That takes time and time is something I really don't have .  I am Blessed that God answered my prayer by my son marrying  into a blended family . Now , I have Hannah and Tim . Does it bother me that they are not blood ? Absolutely not ! I feel as if I truly was their natural grandma . I am thankful for their existence in my life .
   Even though , none of my children really look like me , they seemed to have developed my mannerisms . Emily especially , has alot of me in her . People seem to think she looks like me but what they are seeing are my mannerisms .
  What does warm my heart is to find out my son does alot of the same things with Hannah and Tim that I used to do with him when he was small . That is more satisfying than any replica mini me !! They are setting traditions that were started by me . Talk about leaving something behind .
  Everyone keeps asking me if there is any pitter patter of a baby on it's way . Funny , how it doesn't really matter to me if there is ....I'm completely fulfilled with Hannah and Tim . Have a Blessed Week everyone .