A New Day

   We got up early this morning . Packed my chemo/doctor bag full of puzzles , yarn and snacks . Filled my car with gas , checked all my fluids in case the car wanted to act up on such an important day in my life . Picked up my tea and off we went to chemo .
   I thought this day would be very emotional but I was wrong . I didn't shed one tear . I was filled with such joy and happiness . I felt like singing happy songs  so  I flipped from one station to the next looking for happy , upbeat music .
  When I looked in the mirror this morning and saw my bloated , red face from the steroids I wasn't even upset . When I got on the scale at the doctors it didn't even faze me .In fact , this was the first time since September that my weight was just under 200lbs. Of Course , my nurse was all in a tizzy that I lost a few pounds . People relax , I'm fat . I can afford to lose a few pounds .
   As much as I hated to go to my treatments in the past . . . . . today....I skipped to my chemo . I can see the light at the end of the tunnel . Now the real journey can begin . My hair will be coming out soon .I can't wait to see what color it will be . I loved  my hair before . It came out darker like brown. It was thick and wavy . I feel excitement  , not despair . What will it be like now ?
   There is one more thing I want to do today if my body will let me . It used to be that the side effects would begin the very next day . The last two chemos they began the very same evening . I guess my body has gotten weaker as the treatment progressed . Today , I already started burping and belching during the infusion . My eyes are getting droopy and I'm feeling tired . My stomach started feeling queasy  and hot flushes raged through my body  . Well it looks like my farewell present came a bit early .
  My goal will have to be postponed until tomorrow . Right now , I'm off to bed . Until tomorrow . .. .. .