That Dreaded Journey

   Drove in all that slush this morning to that dreaded appointment........my doctor's appointment . In the past 5 years I have made this journey countless of times . Never had I hated it as much as I do now . My stomache in knots . .. . my blood pressure high......stressed out beyond anything . Stopped for a coffee just to calm my nerves and my trembling belly . For sure I will vomit .
  I know what is causing my anxiety . The unknown . Waiting for the other shoe to drop . When will that dreaded cancer come back again . Lord knows , I don't want to go through this yet again and I know I will have to .Is it even gone asleep for now . I have yet another appointment for another scan to determine that .
  Will I be feeling this anxiety everytime I go for a checkup ? Will it ever ease up? Surely as time goes on my defenses will drop and I will relax ? All these questions are running through my head and I'm tired .
  Even Linda has had enough already . Just saw her at our churches potluck dinner . She looked so very tired . Here I am complaining . At least , I am done with it for now . She is still going through treatment and she started way before me . She is stage 4  and she cries everytime she has to go .
  Although , Linda has hair . She took off her wig and showed me her very dark hair .She went from blonde to dark  and I was envious . . . .. in a good way . I want hair and I don't care what color it is . I just want hair .