Where Is Winter ?

     Where is winter ? This weather makes everyone sick and when others get sick .....I get sick . I still have my latest cold   and cough . Not to mention , my hot flashes are in full bloom . While others are walking around in turtlenecks , I'm wearing tank tops (at home ).
      I also miss the wintery scenes outside my window . Even the cold signifies a death , a stillness of sorts ,  a time of rest  before Spring comes and a rebirth happens . We appreciate the beauty and significance of Spring more after a harsh winter .
     My body is like winter in a way . It needs to rest . The cancer is still . The treatment is harsh . When treatment is over a Spring ( remission ) will come and Rebirth can happen . All new hair , a new look ....a new hope . A new beginning .
    Maybe , it's changes I am having a problem with .Things aren't the same . The way they used to be . No one likes change . For me , it's just too many changes all at once . Normally , we could look out the window and guess right away what season we are in just by the scene outside .
   I never liked winter and would dread it's coming . Sometimes , we have to miss something before we can actually appreciate it . I can't believe I'm saying this but I miss the real winter . To me it represents my hair , my skinny old self , my old life before . I guess I didn't appreciate it as much as I should have .
   I look out my window and see sunny skies so bright that the glare off my computer screen make it impossible to continue writing . Where is the winter ? Where is the old me ?


  1. I know exactly what you mean by "too many changes all at once!" I'm with you on that one! But, truth is we are all going through a winter of sorts, it's just not always as obvious as it is when we are ill or disabled. Then the stark reality that we have no control over our lives is very clear. It's really, really hard. But, the blessing is that, as believers in Jesus Christ, we know there is a Spring coming - a whole new body, a whole new life, without sickness or suffering. That is where we are headed, in spite of the coldness of the winter we are living in right now. As always, Lottie, you are ever in my prayers for God's sustaining grace.


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