Looking out the window at the snow falling , I wondered how many people were experiencing fear right now . Fear of their car skidding across the road . Fear of being late for work or picking up their children .
What are my fears ? I'm afraid of many silly things like rats or mice . Right now , the scale is pretty high up there as the number one thing I'm scared of .
What if the reason I've been so grouchy lately is really because I'm scared . Scared of something I can't control or touch . We all want to be in control of our lives or at least think we are . All of my life , I have told myself I was waiting on the Lord . I believed that my plans were the same as God's plan for me . It doesn't seem to be the case any longer . He seems to have different plans for me .
I think that is one reason why I'm grouchy . Why can't my plan be the same as His ? We all have wished for something . Dreamed about it . Had our hearts set on it . As a Christian I know whatever He has planned for me will be ten times better than anything I do . That still doesn't ease the fact that I won't get what I want .
I certainly , didn't think I would be here going through cancer again . Yes , fear . The uncertainty . The unknown . Trust . It's all so hard . I'm still afraid of rats , mice and the scale .
Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey. Some murmur if their sky is clear, And wholly bright ...