I have to apologize for neglecting everyone...this blog ....my duties at home...my church . I have been wallowing in self-pity . Have been laying in bed for three days ....sick . This last chemo took alot more out of me than I can handle . I have one more to go in a month and I'm dreading it . This whole month has been dreadful for me . Something is going on inside of me . I'm sicker than usual : could feel despair setting in . Could it be because the end of chemo is near ?
Reading one of my daily devotionals , I came across Joyce Meyer's , "The Importance Of Finishing ". Here she says ," there are alot of people who step out and begin a journey with God , but I don't think there are nearly as many who finish it ".
How will I finish my walk with God in this journey ? What is in store for me next ? All I have been hearing is how I am almost done .....but there you all are wrong . This is not the end but a beginning . It doesn't end with this last chemo . I don't get proclaimed brand new and go back to my old life . What should I do ? Where should I be ? I feel so out of place ...out of sorts . I can't even imagine going back to the old me .
Do I continue on with this blog ? Does it end with my last treatment ? I don't know what to do .I feel like a dog that keeps going round in circles on his bed until he finds that perfect spot and finally lays down . Where is my perfect spot ?
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Just Being Still
Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey. When thou hast thanked thy God For every blessing sent...
In the arms of the Father. He will show you the next step. We (all of us) only have enough light for today. And that's ok. We don't need to know the way, because He does. Praying God's peace and rest for you, Lottie. One day at a time.
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