How Many Times .....

I didn't plan on going to Church today . My plans were merely to sit at home , crocheting quietly in my room . Nothing more , nothing less .

At seven in the morning the call came from one of the teachers , she couldn't  make it in this Sunday . When the second message came , I knew all my plans would go on hold and I needed to go in .

Lately , being quiet is all I strive for , looking for peace in my everyday life . I want to sit in my room , with the door closed , surrounded by things I love to do . Any issues with others to be left outside  my building where it cannot touch me .

People disappoint . How am  I to deal with others jealousy ? Jealousy turns into envy , then anger and vindictiveness . How am I to deal when others do their best to hurt you ? How many times can one turn the other cheek ?

I have been sitting quietly , saying nothing , listening to my devotions , waiting upon the Lord . Waiting for this to go away . Waiting for Him to resolve this issue . Waiting . . .

I've  extended my hand in friendship and it was accepted . I extended my hand , again , to the other and it was declined . . . . actually it was slammed shut . I feel defeated , deflated and ready to give up .

Last night , I sat up majority of the night crocheting blankets for the homeless . With each stitch , I thought of them and their struggles . How many times have they felt defeat ? How many times have they wanted to give up ? How many times have they turned their cheek ? How many times has anyone extended a hand in friendship to them ?

How many times . . . . ?