Another Day , Another Dollar

I've always lived two lives , the one at work and the one at home . Since my cancer , these two worlds have been colliding , playing havoc with my heart . I just can't be these two people any longer .

Whether we are at work or play , the world is full of critics . There is always someone who thinks they can do your job better , think smarter or act quicker on a deal . No matter how perfect of a review a person has , it always ends with  " there's  room for improvement in ....." 

I've often wondered how people could  last 25 years in one company without losing their mind . Since this year marks my 18th with my company , I think I'll be finding out soon enough . How does a person stay fresh without the feel of burnout ?

I wish I knew . What I have seen is that people tend to become stone faced blocking their hearts from all emotions . I don't want to lose my compassion for people and their lives . I care for them and want to solve and improve their work life .

So far , I've been able to maintain my sanity and not lose my self respect , but sometimes , the weight on my shoulders is just too much and I allow it to affect me . I don't know how to become indifferent . The two worlds collide and I feel .

When those times occur  , I begin thinking that maybe , I'm not cut out for the corporate world . I can't be a mannequin falling behind everyone else in perfect unison . I have to speak up , I have to defend , I have to change things and that's where the problem begins . . . . I have to be me .

So what do I do ? I retreat , regroup and refresh myself . I get up , take a deep breath and start all over again . Another day , another dollar .

Have a Blessed day everyone .