Monday, December 26, 2016
The Decorative Mom
Our children grow up and become adults, living in the busyness of the world. Our purpose as parents suddenly has shifted from nurturer, caregiver and the leader to just a decorative parent. I am a mom, but no longer a mom. My role has forever been changed.
I believe the biggest struggle for parents of grown children isn't the empty nest syndrome. It is the realization that our children have become independent and no longer need us to take care of them. They do not run to us with every little or big problem in their life. They have friends or mates to fill that shoe.
I can remember a time when Joey would call me every Friday night on his way home from work. At that time, I was working a night shift so it worked out beautifully. That went on until he married my Aubs. (love my Aubs.). Friday would come and go, with no calls from Joey, because now he would call his wife on his way home from work. All perfectly natural and expected. That's how it should be.
Do you see the shift that occurred? That shift is swift and subtle that we don't even know when it happens. The story ends on a great note. I may have lost that Friday night with my son, but I gained late night chats with my daughter-in-law. We formed a circle for girls only, one that Joey cannot enter.
Yet. there are still those moments where we miss having an apt young adult seeking out our knowledge. Our wisdom. Our opinion. We do miss that the most. Suddenly, we are faced with finding a new purpose where we feel needed intellectually, emotionally and physically. Remember when they ran to you searching for wise counsel that only a mom can provide? That only happens occasionally now.
I should add that it is different with daughters. They tend to run to their moms for help or advise. I can see that with Emily. It might have to do with the fact that we're both the same gender. Emily's constant worry about my future involves that very fact. Who will show me how to be a mom? A wife? Who mom, if you're no longer than here? I guess, I'm more than just a decorative mom.
Have a blessed day everyone.
Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey. Some murmur if their sky is clear, And wholly bright ...