Turning Fifty

I often take a glance back on my life, analyzing roads I have travelled on. I am always questioning the end result. Maybe if I had done this or done that? Turning fifty has affected my emotional state of being.

In my youth, I have envisioned my life a little differently. Shouldn't I be in a much better place than I am now?

I guess that depends on what that place looks like. Like everyone else, I have dreams of that place. I've dreamt about it for years. I dreamt how it should look like and when it should have happened. I dreamt who would be there and the type of life I would lead.

Sometimes, our dreams can take over our reality. Suddenly life doesn't seem so grand anymore when we compare it to something that doesn't even exist. That's so happening to me right now.

I thought I would be living that dream already. Instead, it seems I'm finding fault with what I have now. I'm really a very blessed individual, so why am I knocking it?

So today at 9:00 a.m. I turned officially the big 50. My emotions are very mixed, as they should be at this stage of my life. Yet, I do realize how lucky I really am. I have two wonderful children moving forward with their lives. I have a job that pays my bills and I have a Savior who provides everything.

There are so many people out there who are lost in both body and mind. They have no clue where to go or no one to go with them. I am truly, truly Blessed. That dream ? It can wait or should I say, I can wait.

Have a blessed day everyone.