Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Second Time Around

I am a success ! I know I am good at what I do , yet I allow negativity to reside permanently that has been generated by others . Why do I listen to the banter of others ? Am I not enough ?

We allow situations and people to influence our state of being . Who cares what they think about me ? Do they live here ? Do they live my life ? Do they experience all that I feel ? The hurt ? The pain ? The tears ? Do they cry with happiness for me ? Do they know the love I feel ?

Then how can they know me . . . .

I say all this , because I am a people pleaser  and there are people who love to play with the likes of me . I want to be liked by all that I encounter . Their opinion matters to me more than it should . 

When we have become Christians , we want the new us to shine brilliantly for all to see . That is not always the case . There will always be people who just will not care much for the likes of us no matter  how much we may try to change their minds . 

In many ways , I am living life for the second time . My goal for this second term is to work on my relationships with the people in my life . It's been very difficult , because we have different levels of friendships with each person and some levels will never be reached to their full potential . Does that mean we don't even try ? 

Of course not , but we need to make sure our expectations are real for each relationship . This year especially , my relationships have suffered a great deal . Some have moved on , others ended not quite so nicely . The reason , I'm not exactly sure . Was I trying too hard ? Or not hard enough ? 

I believe it was because I fell away from achieving my goal . It seems that I have been going through  a midlife crisis of sorts this year where I didn't want to care anymore . My sister-in-law Pam , recently said to  me that the older we become , the more we seem to tell the truth . I believe she is right . 

I was tired of being the one who always made the concessions . The who always turned the cheek .The one who always said I'm sorry and yet , I never heard that word being said to me . 

So yes , I believe in working on relationships , but I also believe that each person has a compartment in my heart . Some may have a higher level compartment and some may be only on the ground floor , but my expectations are real of what that relationship really entails . 

Not everyone can be a truly faithful friend who I can trust every detail . Some of them can only be great work associates that enhance my abilities in the professional world . 

My negativity and my people pleasing ways are still a work in progress . I don't think we can ever be completely  free of not caring what others think of us , but  we can at least be semi-reformed . Aren't we all just a work in progress ?

Have a Blessed day everyone . 




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