A Subdued Mood

       My left leg has been throbbing with pain . Swollen , achy from thigh to big toe . I can't take the pain any longer . My leg has been getting worse and worse . I'm  anxiously awaiting my doctor appointments . Anxiously is not really the word I want to use .
       I thought of Jesus and all the torture and abuse He endured .....all without complaint . Not even all of that for Himself , but for me .
       This past week , I have wondered what each day must have been like for Him knowing what was to come  . What were His thoughts . His feelings . As I looked around , I wondered how many people thought as I .
      Every spiritual holiday , I feel like people miss the boat .That they are so wrapped up in the commercialization of the holiday that they miss the real message...purpose . Everywhere I went , I wished people a Happy Easter and let me say this ......the majority of them smiled back and wished the same to me .
   My emotions , my mood has been very subdued lately . As I thought about the Last Supper , I thought of the significance of it . On Good Friday , I felt like crying . On Saturday , it was anticipation and nervousness . Sunday brought Jubiliation . What a glorious day that was !!!
   I still can't believe how attuned my senses were this past week . Is it my age ? My spiritual growth ? Or is it the fact that I'm in pain with my leg ? Laying here Sunday night , in more pain than ever , I wandered about Jesus and His pain . I felt like a ninny . Christ endured pain that I can't even imagine just for me . I can't even handle my own pain let alone someone else's .
   That's how much He loves me . How could I not love Him back ?!