Sit down next to a person with a chronic illness , and they can tell you each and every name of all the medications , tests , diagnosis they have had over the years . They know their levels , blood pressure , cholesterol and sugar intake . They remember the type of treatment they have had , what month /date/time it was administered and the type of reaction it caused .
I am not one of those people .
I'm lucky if I can remember the year or at least the first couple of letters in the name of my treatment . It just doesn't seem important to me . I rather leave all that to my doctors . As long as I know the basics , I'm good .
First of all , I don't want anyone to feel I am attacking them . If you are one of the people I have described above , please don't be offended . I'm the inept one with a lack of memory for learning new things . I'm full of praise for anyone who possesses these skills .
The more I think about it , the more I'm convinced it may be my subconscious purposely avoiding the vital importance of actually having cancer . Thinking " happy thoughts " prevents the gloominess of reality settling in .
I've always felt my time here on Earth is limited , why spend it worrying about my cancer ? I want to enjoy every bit of my time here . That's why I get so upset when I'm unable to do what I love to do . . . . crochet and blog .
When it comes to my health . . . . . well . . . . just tell me what you want me to do and I'll do it . The rest ( the worrying about results ) is a waste of time for me . God has written my story , from beginning to end , whatever that story may be . I have accepted it , too bad everyone in my life hasn't . They're waiting for a miracle , but that miracle has already occurred . I'm saved .
My treatment , my cancer , my medications . . . . that list will be endless and probably never ending . I have no desire dwelling on something I cannot change . Life is too short for that .
Have a Blessed day everyone .
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