Sunday, October 5, 2014

Cancer Pet Peeves

There are things that I really detest  about cancer . Things that make me shudder at the thought of another treatment . If I had to choose a top six list of pet peeves regarding my cancer , what would they be ? 

1. Hair loss
I don't care how many times I may have a re-occurrence , but when I lose my hair it is one of the most traumatic experiences  I go through . There is something so victim-like about the whole appearance of it . People automatically feel sorry for you , because they can tell you are sick with some type of cancer . 

I'm not saying it's a bad thing , but you  want to look as normal  as possible . You want to look pretty and feminine . There's nothing wrong with that feeling . It's very natural . We as women , are so concerned with appearance , even during our worst times . Cancer changes our appearance so much , is it wrong to want to look appealing ? 

2. Lack of taste in food 
I enjoy food , it's as simple as that . Not only do I experience metal mouth during treatment , where everything I eat tastes spoiled , but I think certain medications can alter your taste buds as well . Meals are not the same during treatment and I long for mouth watering explosions of flavor . 

3. Steroids 
My worst enemy happens to be steroids . As much as they help with the treatment for nausea , vomiting etc . , I really don't like the other side of steroids . 

You can always tell when I'm on steroids ( sounds so funny ) , I turn beet red all the way down to my neck . For at least three days , I dodge people's questions on why I look like a radish . It's embarrassing , people really don't understand nor are they nice about it .

Then there is the weight gain . . . . that's a whole chapter in itself . No medical staff ever wants to admit that whenever I mention it , but steroids increase your appetite and you will gain weight . That's it , I'm done with that . 

4. Germs 
People don't realize how easily we are infected with everyday germs . We cannot be around people who are unwell . Certain treatments lower your immune system by half  and we receive shots after the chemo to prevent that very thing from happening . 

Every morning , before doing anything else , I would get up and sterilize the apartment with my handy clorox wipes . Every single morning . It's okay in the beginning , but do that for six months and it definitely becomes a chore . 

5. Side effects from the side effects
After the treatments are finished , we go into remission . Chemo is a poison and not only does it kill the cancer , stopping any further      growth , but it affects our bodies in other ways  . I call this the side effects from the side effects . 

I can guarantee you that my left knee will swell up and the arthritis will be felt in every movement I make . First treatment , it was only the knee . Second treatment , it went from my knee down the length of my leg to the toes . Last treatment , it has expanded to my joints , fingers , hands . . . . you get the picture . 

My hot flashes are so pronounced as if I was going through menopause for the first time instead of it being almost eight years       now . I sleep with  a sheet for a blanket year round . I haven't worn a sweater nor can I look at one without experiencing a heat wave . 

My nails are brittle , especially on my toes  . It's embarrassing to show these man-like hands/feet in public . The minute they grow a certain length , they break as if porcelain . 

6. Careless comments 
This should be number one . Of all the things I've gone through , these hurt the most . Good people say careless , mean things . It's a way of life .

 I know I don't resemble the old me . I am not a size three any longer , but more like a 15/16 . I barely have any lashes or eyebrows . Do you think that making a comment on them will make me feel better ? Do you think I am not aware that I don't resemble my I.D. picture ?      Please , everyone be very careful of the words you use , because they really hurt . 

You can tell that it's time for my three month screening , because I am dreading the outcome . 

Have a Blessed day everyone .

No comments:

Post a Comment

Just Being Still

                                Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.   When thou hast thanked thy God For every blessing sent...