Wednesday, August 28, 2013

The Birth Of Me

Cancer is all around us . Every single one of us has a friend , a sister , a mother , a co-worker or a child with some sort of cancer . Cancer has become the new " Aids " of this generation . As more and more I learn of my friends with cancer , I see devastation and sorrow on their faces and within their hearts . Their pain is raw , unforgiving and relentless . Not quite believing that this could happen to them .
 
It has been six and a half years since I have been diagnosed with ovarian cancer stage 3 . I have fought this monster three times and each time a new " me " emerged . Since that faithful day in 2007 , my life has been transformed where I became aware of this so called life and the people in it .
 
I really had no experience with cancer or what it could do to a person . When I learned of my own diagnosis , I reacted the same as I did with any difficult crisis in my life .
 
" Well , okay , we'll go in there  and have the surgery . Do my chemotherapy and I should be back at work within three months ."
 
To say that I was immature is an understatement . It was a very long and slow process , but here I am . As I went through this journey , something inside of me was bursting forth  to emerge from these ashes . I realized that life is fleeting and it can be gone in a blink . Suddenly , I was asking myself questions regarding a relationship with God , with people and myself . How do I want to spend my remaining years ? Who am I really ? What is that life I'm meant to be living ?
 
It all began with a blog I wrote , an idea  I formed and a gift basket of yarn from a reader . Who knew I had all this inside of me ? God knew and had complete faith in me to live the life I was meant to live  as a servant of His . Many times I reflect on the past and wonder how much different it would be if I actually opened my heart  to God the first time I ever walked into a Christian Church at the age of 19 yrs.
 
Regrets ? I have plenty , but it is experience that makes us who we are today . I needed to live to be reborn . I like the person I have become and the stage of life where I am . Cancer may have changed my life , but it doesn't define who I am in it .
 
Have a Blessed day everyone .

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