As I have arrived to this current roadblock on my path in life , my first reaction was to completely shutdown . My soul filled with anger , bitterness and disappointment at everything surrounding this thing called " my life ". The rose colored glasses lay on the ground , broken and covered with thorns .
Calls went unanswered , messages left unopened , I posted a sign on this blog : Under Construction . Keeping to myself , I longed for the weekend to arrive quickly , locking the door behind me so no
" people " would enter . I wasn't leaving this apartment where others could hurt me , not even for church .
I questioned the existence of this blog , its worth and its substance . I questioned whether I could even consider myself a writer . Did I really have anything to say that was worth hearing ? Was anyone even reading ?
What about all those blankets and things I have crocheted for others ? Do they really mean anything to them ? Or are they thrown into the closet never to be seen again ? All those slippers I have made , what has happened to them ? Have they ended up in the trash where someone considered them ugly . . . stupid . . . . pointless .
Doubts . . . .the devil thrives on them . He looks for opportunities to attack our insecurities with lies and more lies . I succumbed to them .
God had other plans for me .
Sunday came and I grudgingly went to church , hoping it would go by quickly so I could run home and wallow . The worship started . . .
Here in Your Presence
we are undone
That was the best worship I have experienced in a very long time . Tears flowed freely and I knew He was there with me . I 've realized that we all are under construction from time to time remodeling our soul for the better . This was a time I needed for myself to work on myself . We cannot keep running around being everything to everyone without taking some " me time " to spend with our Father .
So I have decided to leave the " Under Construction " sign on my blog while I undergo a transformation and prepare myself for the road ahead . You see . . . .
God has a plan for me .
Have a Blessed day everyone .
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