God speed thee,
pretty bird; may thy small nest,
With little ones all in good time be blest.
I love thee much;
For well thou managest that life of thine,
Well I!—O ask not what I do with mine!
Would I were such!
—Jane Welch Carlyle.
The photo above is courtesy of my friend Cindy Alvarado from her hometown trip to Ecuador.
If you have been following my blog, you will know that I love writing, doing YouTube videos, my Crocheting Ministry and my Chronic Illness Group. I love all these things and I derive so much pleasure from it. I wish I could do this on a permanent basis full time. As much as I gain so much joy from this, there are certain aspects from each venture that can bring frustration. Things that can stress me out and take the joy out of it.
My writing: Joy, joy.
Time for writing: Not so much joy.
I get lost in my writing and it has become a therapeutic way for me to dissect my innermost emotions. It has also been quite a disappointing year for my blog. I haven't been able to devote much time to it and I believe my muse has left me. Writer's block became something real and frightening at the same time. What if clarity never happens? What if the blog has run it's course? Maybe it's served it's purpose and it's time has come to an end. Just because I enjoy something that doesn't mean it won't end. Take for instance the time I taught Sunday School. I love it, but that part ended after six years. It was time to move on to something else. I hope this isn't the case here.
YouTube Channel: Making videos bring me joy.
The management side: Brings me too much stress that dissipates the joy.
YouTube is probably the hardest thing I have ever done. All of the other above mentioned came easy to me. Almost as if it was meant to be. Not so with making vlogs. The overall running of the channel is so stressful. One has to build a subscriber list using basically marketing skills. One visits other channels, joins in on the community, does live shows with others. It is a continual struggle to get the subscribers, the views, the camera angles, the lighting etc. The list goes on. One can easily lose oneself in the analytics of it all.
The Crocheting Ministry: Crocheting provides me with tons of joy.
The participants: I want to pull out all my hair, no joy at all.
I have had many people be part of this Ministry. All types of people who have come and gone over these past six years. Please do not get me wrong here. I love them all dearly, but I cannot keep them happy. I just cannot. This right here has given me the most joy and the most aggravation of all. Very bittersweet. That is all I want to say on that matter.
So you see, there is a flip side to things. It's not always a skip to the loo kind of experience. Even things that can bring us so much joy, can also be very irritating. Does one outweigh the other? Yes, I think so. We just have to make sure that the joy side always wins. We also need to remind ourselves why we began the journey into these things in the first place. What were we trying to accomplish here? This is very important and that should be our main focus.
Have a blessed day everyone.
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