When I was a little girl , I dreamt of grandeur . A large home with a wraparound porch , a huge garden filled with an assortment of flowers and in that house many children dwelled . My career consisted of an executive , wheeling and dealing , with my own office and high tailored suits .
All of us grew up with dreams that may have been similar to mine or not , but we had an idea of how we wanted to live out our lives . That kind of life has remained a fantasy to me . There are some similarities , but they are very minor .
I grew up as a Catholic raised with the notion that our lives are predestined by God before we are born . The saying , " This is my lot in life " , has been the motto I've heard many times . My road has been paved and I should learn to accept the type of life God has given me .
I don't entirely believe that to be true . The road that I was on wasn't necessarily the road God intended for me , but the road I have chosen to take .
My lot in life has been created by me and no matter where I am now , I still have to live out the consequences of those choices . I can remember in my younger days telling myself that I'm living with no regrets . That may have been true then , but now I find myself acknowledging that it was all a lie . I have nothing but regrets .
I'm not exactly sure if it was my cancer or my advanced years that has brought this realization to light . All the same , it is very true . How do we go back and fix things ? Can we go back at all ? We try to teach the new generation , but the question remains , do they want to listen to the old ?
Have a Blessed day everyone .
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