Grumpy Me

  It was chemo day today . I have begun to hate chemo day . Don't get me wrong , the nurses and staff are wonderful . It's just me . I'm tired of it all .
   I have to take these steroids for a couple of days before chemo . They give me a reaction . I turn beet red in the face and neck . It will wear off after a week . I swear it also bloats my face and my stomach . This morning ,  I was so bloated I couldn't fasten my pants . When we got there , I looked around and noone else has this problem . The waiting room was filled with normal looking people ........except me . I'm the only one with that darn red face . It is so embarrassing . Then the hot flashes . I was burning up . I felt like my face was on fire .
   I sat  there , taking in my infusion  , bloated sky high . I felt like I would burst  if I didn't burp soon . It's 7:30 pm and I'm still waiting to burp .  Driving home , I could feel that metal taste in my mouth come a whole day early . Lucky me . Next , the good ole nausea , constipation , diahhrea and my favorite  vomiting . It's gonna be a long night .
  I can't take this any longer . Today , I felt like getting up and walking out  and never coming back again . What is the point of all of this ? Six months ? A whole year ? How long until it comes back again ?  I  have another two months of this  and I don't think I can handle it . I'm feeling very tired suddenly . I need to go lay down .