I, Woman

"Mom , do you think it's immature of me to call other women at Church my Auntie or Mommy ? "

Absolutely not !! Are we not daughters of Eve ? So , she considers these women her role models / mentors , why would that be considered immature ?

We need fellow women encouraging each other in this generation . There are far too many jealousies , bickering and insecurities that women harbor toward other women . We all have been those women . I have been there and done that and I'm over it . 

Women have been competing with each other since Eve took the first bite and we have been laying our sin at her doorstep ever 
since . Yes , she placed us on this path , but do we have to continue on it ? 

Being a woman is difficult  and we need to support each other as we face these struggles . Our emotions take us on a never ending roller coaster ride , wouldn't we want someone who has been there to help us get off that ride ? Who knows a woman's struggle better than another woman . 

I believe it should be us Aunties , Mothers and Grandmothers who take up the rein to lead this generation of young ladies toward the right path and ensure they stay there . Eve may have placed us there , but it's up to us to steer away from it . 

Have a Blessed day everyone .

Throwback Thursday

Here we are again , my friends , with another Throwback Thursday upon us . They sure come upon us pretty fast , don't they ? Today's story deals with the famous question , " Are you angry with 
God ? " 

This was very tough for me , because I really believed I was healed physically . I've come to realize that there are many kinds of healing that have nothing to do with the physical , but are more spiritual . I've always been scared of dying and that was the issue I had to address regarding my cancer the second time around .

I honestly believe that we all experience a time where we are angry with God . We have to address it , analyze it , see what lies beneath it  and shelf it . Since this blog began during my second  bout with cancer , this was the underlying theme behind it . 

Now , I am no longer afraid of my illness nor of death . In a way , I almost welcome it . To me , it is yet another stage of life we must get through before Paradise . I'm looking forward to that one . 

Are You Angry With God?

Are You Angry With God?      Here I am ,almost 47yrs old and fighting cancer for the second time.Everyone wants to know how I feel .....how I'm doing..etc.I nod my head okay....fine.But I really don't know myself.There is something simmering inside me waiting to burst forth.I just don't know what that is.      When I first was diagnosed 4 1/2 yrs ago,everyone asked the same question:Are you angry with God? I answered honestly with pure of heart.....NO.I always knew that there was something very important that HE wanted me to see.I was just worried that I wouldn't recognize that something and it all would be for nothing.I did learn then and I will learn again now.      I asked myself this same question the other day.I am not angry with God but I am very disappointed.This sentenced popped into my head without any pondering.Almost as if someone else was saying it for me.I thought about it.Why am I disappointed?Did I think I was healed for good?Did I think I've done my share of trials?I don't know.This is why I'm here.I want to find out.    There is something else inside me that God wants to bring out,get rid of,teach me and sanctify ME.My only worry is that I hope I am strong enough ...strong enough to face it.I have this insane desire to write everything down.For whom? Myself? My children? For someone else going through this?       I don't know.All I know is that there are more and more of us going through CANCER.Only we know what we are going through.So difficult to explain to others the emotions raging inside of us.We want to live.I want to live.I want to enjoy my journey here.Do you? Have a Blessed day everyone .

Doing The Lassie

Coming home last night from work , I was greeted at the door
 by Diamond . She never greets me , only loving her Emily . My very first thought : I caught her doing something she shouldn't be doing . 

After going about my nightly routine before bed , I settled in with a blanket I was crocheting . Behind my bedroom door commotion ensued with Diamond jumping around , meowing the entire time . What on earth is she doing ?

Suddenly , she starts scratching at my bedroom door , something she has never done and I jump up alarmed . Frantically , I open the door  and she runs off , stops to see if I'm coming , and runs off again . 

What's wrong Diamond ?

She meows again and I proceed into the living room . The room is in total disarray with the afghan  and remote thrown on the floor . Cushions and books knocked down . Emily's precious XBOX 360 all askew . Panic settles inside me and I turn to Diamond .

What's happened Diamond ? Is Emily alright ? 

She meows and wags her cat tail , trying to tell me in her own language what is going on . Totally in a panic now , I rush to Emily's room , my heart beating frantically . 

I slowly open her door , almost afraid to peek in fear of what I may see . The only light from the doorway shows a figure completely covered by a comforter , laying perfectly still . The outline of her body reminding me of a mummy . As I watch for a sign of life , her chest rises up and down . Sighing in relief I close the door . 

In the morning , I told Emily of Diamond's antics the night before . That DARN cat over-indulged in her weed ( catnip ) and went totally crazy wanting to play . Emily , after several attempts of trying to calm her down and disgusted with her behavior , went to bed covering herself from head to toe so Diamond would leave her alone . 

She wanted to play .

All this time , I am thinking that there is danger and she is trying to tell me something . I thought she was doing the Lassie and she just wants to play . Right now , she's sleeping  peacefully , in her favorite bed . She has many beds . I should go over there and . . . . . 


Have a Blessed day everyone .

The Author Within

The author within me has been lurking around , searching for a way to burst forth in a book . I think we all have that childhood dream of writing a Best Seller , or becoming a model or actress , anything famous . 

How do authors begin ? Do they pop out a story suddenly out of thin air ? Or do they take years of researching , writing and editing their story line ? 

I wish I knew , because there is an author within me . I have that desire to write , for no other reason than for myself . I don't need to be famous or wealthy . I just want to be able to write one , to know that I can write one . 

There is an image I have of myself , being secluded in a secret hideaway from everyone and just writing nonstop . Who hasn't had a desire to sneak away from life and not worry about finances or work , only to live out their fantasies . 

There is another image of myself sitting in front of a computer and not being able to write anything . Imagine  finally getting to that cabin or private place and your mind is a total blank , wasting all that precious time . 

The problem is what to write about and when to actually write that story . I'm sure eventually everything will fall into place the way it should happen . The story will naturally pop out on it's own . 

Have a Blessed day everyone . 

Simply Young

Glancing at the calendar , it was no surprise to me to see that February was almost over . I have been feeling rushed these past few weeks with the days slipping by pretty fast and not enough time to do all the things I wanted to . 

I am not sorry , though . I'd rather have my calendar over- flowing with tasks and gatherings , than be sitting around feeling lonely or bored . I just don't understand boredom . Loneliness  yes , but boredom never . There's always something to do  . 

Whenever  I invite someone to join my Crocheting Ministry or tell them about my blog , I receive the same attitude : How wonderful , but who has time to sit around knitting or writing . 

Please , don't say that to someone . I find it insulting , to say the least , especially when someone is pursuing a dream or passion of theirs . Believe me , no one is just sitting around doing nothing . I do majority of my crocheting in the waiting rooms of America , during lunch or watching the telly . Some of my ladies crochet in bed to relax their minds before bed . 

We should be encouraging each other to pursue our passions , especially us women , not tearing each other down . It is these passions that keep our minds young and alert . They are reasons why some of us get up in the morning and out of our depressions , ready to face life .

Who needs face-lifts or anti -aging creams . You simply cannot hide advancing years . You can only look good doing it ! I have gray hair , wrinkles and plenty of fat , but I have lived my life ! All of my activities have kept me feeling young even though I may not look
 it . 

The following was sent to me from my VP of Crocheting , Bangie , to remind me of that very fact . 

HOW TO STAY YOUNG
1.  Try everything twice.
On one woman's tombstone she said she wanted this epitaph:
"Tried everything twice. Loved it both times!"

2.  Keep only cheerful friends.
The grouches pull you down.
(Keep this in mind if you are one of those grouches!)

3. Keep learning:
Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever...
Never let the brain get idle. 'An idle mind is the devil's workshop.'
And the devil's name is Alzheimer's!

4. Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
And if you have a friend who makes you laugh, spend lots and lots of time with HIM /HER.

6. The tears happen: Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. LIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love: whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next city, state, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.

10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. I love you, my special friend.

11. Forgive now those who made you cry. You might not get a second chance.

Remember! Lost time can never be found.

Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.

Wine does not make you FAT ..it makes you LEAN ..Against tables, chairs, doors, walls ........

Have a Blessed day everyone . 

Throwback Thursday

Every week , as I embark on the next story of my past , I'm flooded with memories . . . . some good and some not so good . I remember the following story quite well . Going through cancer the second time was a very distressing time for me . I honestly believed I would die and had to deal with my mortality . Every person dealing with a chronic illness has to accept death as a friend instead of as an enemy . I have seen too many patients refusing this stage of their life , only to be miserable and depressed during the entire illness , wasting precious time with loved ones . My future is still a blank page , all except for the last page , my destination . . . . . Heaven . 

A Blank Page

  Sat down to write my daily blog and my mind went blank just like the page in front of me.What I planned to write suddenly I couldn't remember.I guess God had other plans for me.
   All day today I walked around with a smile on my face and a happy retort on my lips.Everyone I ran into gave me hugs and told me how sorry they were .They  were very sincere..you could feel it in their embrace and their voice.
   I realize now that I've been faking it.You see,tomorrow I will be starting my first chemo treatment.Didn't realize just how depressing that really is.As I sat staring at that blank page , I realized that this blank page represented my future.
    I remember feeling the same way the first time around.I didn't see a future then.It was totally blank.Just like now.A blank page.
   But there is a difference the second time around.My feelings are different.My approach is different and yes my outlook is different.
  This blank page represents to me my future that is unknown to all of us.No one can predict the writing that will go on this blank page.There is only one person who can and HIS name is JEHOVAH.

A Refresher In Store

Turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord.Acts 3:19
How is my renewal going ? There are changes happening evident to others more than to me . I haven't felt a huge change so far , more of a slow renewal , step by step .
That first week , I felt my life spinning so fast with no time for anything . I went from one appointment to the next and then straight to work with no break for myself . It felt chaotic and I need order and stability where I can feel my feet firmly placed on the ground . 
People saw the changes in me before I did . They made remarks on how much calmer I seem , more carefree . They have caught me humming to myself while working . I look rested , healthier  and happier . This has been the first time in a very long time that I am not going to work feeling tired .
This week , I am concentrating on developing a routine of some sorts to follow . I believe , that once I have accomplished that feat , everything will follow smoothly making this change worthwhile .
My spiritual refresher is coming along nicely . I expected my soul to feel rejuvenated right away , but that was very unrealistic of me . If anything , time is needed to dump all of that excess that has been accumulated  and cleanse my being with God's refreshing Spirit . 
That takes time . 
One thing I have noticed about myself is that I am not tired going to Church or work or a family event . My body is actually resting . The responsibility doesn't fall entirely in my corner  . That's refreshing . 
Have a Blessed day everyone .