These past few days have been quite nice . Even though , some of my blogs might have seemed to be a little " depressing ", it still has been nice to have some quiet time to think . To reflect and regroup . You can find out alot about yourself .
Years ago , I would clean out my closets and drawers whenever I felt overwhelmed with life . It felt like I was cleaning up and organizing my life . Well , it doesn't work this time . One of the reasons why I feel so disappointed in my cancer returning is because I'm afraid of losing my identity .
These past 4 years have not been easy for me . While everyone was extremely happy my cancer was in remission , I on the other hand , struggled emotionally with the aftermath of cancer . The person I saw in the mirror didn't resemble anyone I knew . The person on the inside definitely didn't match either . It really was a struggle to adjust to living .
People were like , you can live your life now , but how can you do that after you just experienced the most dramatic event of your life . Let's not forget the limitations your body develops . You have become the dependent vs. the independent . Quite a life adjustment .
I was just getting used to the person I've become . Just accepting and actually liking who I have become . That really ticks me off . Who wants to do all that work again . Here we go . Who will I become now ?
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