A Week of Hospital Meals

Discount Salvage Store Mini Haul

An Interesting Wrinkle

 

                            Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.

Not so in haste, my heart;

Have faith in God, and wait;
Although He linger long,
He never comes too late.
ANON

God doesn't give you more than you can handle.

You need to stay positive or you won't conquer this cancer.

Stop saying the "C" word. You're bringing the illness upon yourself. 

  I have found that we cannot be really honest with our feelings when we have a chronic illness. People are not ready to hear the rawness of what is happening. We need to remember that others are experiencing our illness as well, confronting their own emotions regarding it. It took me awhile to acknowledge this fact.

  Yes, our families, spouses and children are an emotional basket case, and they have every right to be. They are the closest people in our life. Although, we tend to forget about the everyday people out there who react to our illnesses. It may not involve anything other than their own feelings about death or a memory of a loved one who passed away. It may include feelings of a midlife crisis or a search for meaning of purpose in their lives.

  I used to feel irritated when people would say things like the above comments, but now I realize they need to see that it can be done. No matter how bad things may seem, we can overcome. We can persevere all things. Even in our worst moments, people see our reactions and it is important to show these moments. Yes, I have horrible days and I am honest about them, but I don't stay there. 

  So many people with cancer want to quit right at the bat. The struggle seems overwhelming taking up a huge portion of their life. Cancer treatment can last from 6 or more months depending on your situation. It disrupts our daily life as we know it. Some people feel it is not worth all of that and I try to encourage them not to give up. Fight with everything inside of you, because there is hope. 

  Have a blessed day everyone.

  

A Sunny Day

 

                                     Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.

Whate'er my God ordains is right;

Though I the cup must drink
That bitter seems to my faint heart,
I will not fear nor shrink.
S. RODIGAST

  Not quite sure what was so special that day. Maybe enough time has passed or perhaps it was the sun shining. I could feel the warmth upon my face as the rays streamed through the windshield of my son's car. After a long and cold Winter, it felt really good.

  I have been angry, really angry and not at all cooperative in any way. I just didn't see the purpose of it all. Why now? Why at all? The trip we took this morning was to see the specialist in regards to my bone marrow treatment all the way to St. Louis! This was fast becoming way too much work for my liking. Was it even worth it?

  Something changed during the morning. Perhaps it was seeing the cancer clinic and all the patients in it waiting to receive their chemo infusion. Memories certainly came flooding in of the many times I sat in their place. Perhaps it was the reprimand from my own children reminding me of my bad behavior of the last couple of weeks.

This is not you, mom. 

  Isn't it? I believe we all have that person inside us who appears rashly and suddenly from time to time. We are more than capable. Many things came into my mind as the morning quickly turned into afternoon.

  The ride back felt different. I didn't feel as angry or upset. I felt resigned to accept what I could not control. Here I was facing the same giants just in a different way. A different cancer. One I know nothing about. No matter how many times my ovarian cancer came back, it felt familiar. The symptoms were the same, the method and even the place. This was different and it scared the heck out of me. We don't like change, no matter how much we claim the opposite. 

  All the way home, I felt the warmth of the sun upon my face. It's been so cold and dreary, the sun was a welcomed sign of Spring in the near horizon. Pretty soon, it would be there on a regular basis and all this gloominess would be a thing of the past. It was a long Winter . . . yes, but soon it would disappear.

  How many times, have we faced trials or obstacles in our life? No one is exempt from them, but they do leave us eventually. As we age, we have less and less desire to fend them off. We are tired and want to be left alone to enjoy the remaining years in peace and quiet. 

  Yes, it was that ride, that day, that sun, that brought an energy within me to get back up and accept the latest challenge. What a lovely day it turned out to be.

Have a blessed day everyone.

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