Life After Cancer

 

                            Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.

With grateful hearts the past we own;

  The future, all to us unknown,
  We to Thy guardian care commit,
  And peaceful leave before Thy feet.
P. DODDRIDGE

When I began my channel on YouTube, I held such high intentions and expectations. I thought I would find other cancer survivors either with their own channels or just as subscribers. In reality, it didn't happen.

There is something about that word cancer that can upset people real fast. They fear it. They don't want the diagnosis, anything, but that. The name of my blog itself turned people off to what I had to offer. 

There was something else that I found surprising in my search for other survivors. People wanted to forget their experience altogether and move on as if nothing happened at all.

Why?

I don't want to forget. I have learned so much about myself, my body. So much good has come from this experience, so why would I want to forget? Now, I am not brooding about that experience. In fact, I am grateful. It has kept me focused and determined to live out the life I was meant to live. 

We always seem to remember the bad moments first before we even acknowledge all the good that happened. I have read the other day that yesterday's misery can become today's credentials. How absolutely true. If only we were not afraid to go to that place and share it with others who are going through it for the first time. Pain is pain and I get it, but there are people out there who could really benefit from your knowledge and wisdom.

My life certainly has changed and many times over. It keeps changing every couple of years. Just when I overcome one fear or another, something new comes up to learn. Isn't that what life is all about? Experiencing it? Living each moment? Having a chronic illness makes it so much more valuable this thing we call time. So why not enjoy it?

Have a blessed day everyone.

Simply Self Care

 

                                  Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.

Trials must and will befall;

But with humble faith to see
Love inscribed upon them all,
This is happiness to me.
W. COWPER.

I have a huge respect for life, things and people that attribute to living life fully. They have developed a technique for a well-balanced life between work and personal activities. This is something I have struggled with for years. Finding that balance has not always been easy, but I will do my very best and simply keeping trying.

This year, I have made it a point to try harder than ever before. Life certainly has been very unpredictable and I am becoming too old for all these sudden changes. My body craves good ole boring stability. 

One of the ways I plan on accomplishing some of this balance will be my implementation of basic ideas to reduce the stress. It truly is the little things that make the difference. Small, yet very significant changes that can bring more harmony in my life.

A Nesting Day is something I have started a little over a year ago. It is a time that I use for the sole purpose of renewal. It could be a day or even a weekend, it really doesn't matter. It is a personal day where I wear my comfy clothes and lock myself inside to enjoy doing whatever brings me joy. For me, it is usually crocheting and binge-watching Netflix.

Scheduling and organizing is a new goal . . . sort of. It's true that I have spent the last several years decluttering, but I find it is an ongoing project. One can never be completely done. We are always bringing things in, more than we are taking them out. My aim here is to be better organized so things could go more smoothly, especially when it comes to all my extracurricular activities such as my Ministry, blogging and YouTube.

Journaling is something I have absolutely no experience in whatsoever. Yet, I am drawn to it. I want to create a memory journal of my year. Does that sound a bit crazy? Probably and I most likely will make a mess of it, but I will give it my best shot. It is a well- known fact that drawing and coloring are very relaxing.

Finally, beauty care involves getting out there to the hairdressers or getting a massage. Maybe taking a nap in the middle of the day or having a facial at home. It's the little things we like to do with our appearance that make us feel special. 

There are so many things out there designed for the very purpose of stress relief. My daughter loves to diffuse essential oils mixing different blends to set the mood. For another could be a glass of wine or cup of tea. Whatever that "thing" may be has no bearing at all. What matters is the effect it has on our mental and physical health. Afterall, everyone has different needs and different stresses in their lives. Find the ones that work for you and enjoy them as much as you can!

Have a blessed day everyone.

beautycare

Time To Move On

 

                           Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.

Whatever God does is well!

In patience let us wait;
He doth Himself our burdens bear,
He doth for us take care,
And He, our God, knows all our weary days.
Come, give Him praise.
B. SCHMOLCK

Time waits for no man is a saying we all have heard at one time or another. The meaning couldn't be any clearer to me than the phase that I am in right now. Moving forward is something we all must do not only as a society, but also for our mental well-being. 

We cannot stay in the exact same spot. We should always be growing and maturing spiritually, physically and emotionally. We know this, we learn this and do our best to accomplish this feat by making an effort to join groups or read books on it.

There is also another part to it where we can become stagnate in our procrastination to a situation and at times, refusal to move out of that situation. We like to cling to what we think is safe and familiar. Perhaps we are waiting on someone or something to happen. We become afraid to take that step needed to let go and move forward. 

We hold on, we cling to and fear what may come next. We ask ourselves what if questions and soon doubt clouds our decisions. We also may think we have all the time in the world to move. Time truly flies by and before we know it, things have passed us by.

Moving on, at times, involves leaving things behind. Things that may have hurt us. People come and go in our lives like a revolving door in a supermarket. Sometimes, we meet them further up on our path. Sometimes not. The point is that we cannot stop living, because the world is always turning. Making that decision, that choice to do so can be instrumental in the next phase of your life whatever it may be. The point is to actually make it. Remember, time waits for no man.

Have a blessed day everyone. 

Just Another Lazy Day

 

                             Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.

One holy Church of God appears

    Through every age and race,
  Unwasted by the lapse of years,
  Unchanged by changing place.
S. LONGFELLOW.

I did absolutely nothing yesterday! Nothing at all! Well, I did go to Church and vacuumed, but that's all. I even took a nap for a couple of hours. Just another lazy day.

These types of days are far and few between. One almost feels guilty for not doing anything. Why? Have we become a people who love hopping around from one activity to the next? It's almost as if we need to be productive to feel accomplished. 

I have a major issue with relaxing or resting. There is some crazy need inside of me that says I need to be moving at all times. I tell myself it has to do with my cancer, because my time here is limited. Honestly though, is that the real truth?

Sometimes, we tell ourselves little white lies, because we feel we have to defend our actions. Why can't we just accept that perhaps we needed the rest? Maybe our bodies are tired from all the running? Of course, there is also the fact that Winter is here and I struggle every year with the blues.  It could be that we are coming down with something. So many factors go into feeling tired and that "lazy" feeling.

Yes, that "lazy" feeling. Perhaps, that has more to do with it than we want to admit. Haven't we all heard while growing up that laziness is a sin? Idle hands and all? How do we justify our lazy days when the laundry needs to be washed and the refrigerator cleaned?

We can't. We spend way too much time trying to be these perfect people that live perfect lives. There will always be something that needs to get done. Our bodies and our families are a different matter altogether. Of course, none of this means we should never do anything. 

My goal for this year is to focus more on being carefree. It's so easy to say, I know. We have become so stressed about all things, even insignificant things that we fail to stop and just sit down. Yes, sit down with your favorite cup of coffee or tea and do nothing. Sleep in once in a while. The work will always be there, but your body will not. Sometimes, we just need a lazy day without guilt.

Have a blessed day everyone. 

Anyway The Wind Blows

 

                               Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.

Yet Love will dream, and Faith will trust

    (Since He who knows our need is just),
  That somehow, somewhere, meet we must.
    Alas for him who never sees
    The stars shine through his cypress trees;
  Who hath not learned in hours of faith,
    The truth to flesh and sense unknown,
  That life is ever Lord of Death,
    And Love can never lose its own.
J. G. WHITTIER

Anyway the wind blows, the world still turns. Life moves on regardless of what is going on in our lives. Everywhere one looks there is life and chaos bursting forth in every way possible. It's the way of life.

Here we are in another Holiday, the Christmas Season. Families will show on social media the beautiful table overflowing with all kinds of delicious food. Families will be gathered around the Christmas tree unwrapping the mountain of presents beautifully displayed underneath. Oh, the games that will be played today!

To the outside world looking in, one would think just how idyllic it can be. For many families that is a true reality. Traditions actually hold us together along with love and respect for family. I hope they realize how precious these moments can be and cherish them forever. 

Unfortunately, few families will experience a gathering as the kind mentioned above. Just like the happy scenes, there are also ones filled with sadness, loss and bitterness. People will be spending Christmas apart due to divorce, death, covid distancing, disputes and hospitalization. 

The human heart is very fragile and we hurt. We feel all the emotions that God has equipped us with to express ourselves to others. As much as we deny it, we are made to be with people. I am guilty of expressing the desire for solitude, but I will admit that ache in my heart for people I am missing. It is built within us to love.

On a day such as today, I feel for families who are in pain for whatever reason. Amidst their trial or struggle, the world is still turning and the wind is still blowing in all directions. One can almost feel isolated by that fact as if no one cared enough to stop for a minute. 

I have know God all of my life and I cannot imagine Him not being there alongside of me. What do people do who do not know Him in that way? To whom do they cling to? To whom do they cry out to? To whom do they say, Jesus walk with me? 

Without Him, there is no hope, no consolation, no comfort. Just plain loneliness.

Today, we celebrate the birth of One who will never leave us, especially when we are suffering. He walks with us through every ordeal and I am grateful for it. Thank you loving me. 

Have a blessed day everyone. 

I Need A Nesting Day

 

                                  Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.

Oh, empty us of self, the world, and sin,

  And then in all Thy fulness enter in;
  Take full possession, Lord, and let each thought
  Into obedience unto Thee be brought;
  Thine is the power, and Thine the will, that we
  Be wholly sanctified, O Lord, to Thee.
C. E. J.

Did you ever have a day where the universe refused to cooperate? Where you went from store to store and none of them had what you were looking for? Or when you wanted to search online and the internet kept buffering? All day? A day where you ordered in a pizza, but it was delivered elsewhere? Or they didn't accept deliveries at that time?

I think we all experienced days like that where absolutely nothing went according to plan. No matter what we tell ourselves, we feel defeated. I often looked around wondering if I was the only one going through it or were the people I saw feeling the same? Is it just the universe spraying down negativity or just on me?

It seems, I have these type of days when I'm stressed, short on time or want to cram in as much as I can. Perhaps, I unintentionally, place a lot upon my shoulders and it weighs me down. I think we do it to ourselves with all we undertake and never release it elsewhere. Maybe, we just don't know how or where it should go.

A few years ago, I began these nesting days where I shut myself inside my sanctuary, closing the world out. On those days, I wore comfy clothes, ate junk food and I did whatever my heart desired. Usually, that meant crocheting and binge watching my favorite shows. 

Lately, I feel as if these days are few and far between. Why do we do that? It's very obvious that our bodies are in need of a total de-stress whenever possible and yet, we deny ourselves. For what? More stress?

Here we are at the end of 2021 and as always, I'm on a reflective cleansing streak. I ask myself what worked and what didn't in the past year. Perhaps, things that I need to change. One of my goals is to schedule more self- care time for myself, these nesting days for sure. Isn't that a shame that we have to schedule fun times? Oh well, whatever needs to be done, let's just do it. 

Have a blessed day everyone.

 

The Journey Begns

                            Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.

 “If you can see your path laid 

out in front of you step by step,

 you know it's not your path. 

Your own path you make with

 every step you take.

 That's why it's your path.” 

― Joseph Campbell

Change happens whether we like it or not. I try to run with it instead of fighting it. This is my life and I am going to make the best of it. I, myself, can almost feel the change coming. A changing of the tide that writers like to talk about in their novels, but it's true. We can see it coming, we just don't want to accept it.

My daughter, Emily, really doesn't like surprises nor changes. I learned that quickly enough when she was a little girl and I gave her a surprise Birthday party. Let's just say she wasn't exactly happy. Or when I wanted to buy her a new bedroom set. She liked things just the way they were, because it felt safe and comfortable.

That's exactly how we feel about major changes in our life, especially when things have been going great. We live in a world that is constantly changing and our homes become our sanctuaries away from that chaos. Sometimes that chaos, that change happens at our own hands. I am not sure which is worse, the world's or our own self inflicted one.

So here we are facing another new change, one that we never planned nor wanted. We have no idea how this will turn out, but we are trusting God to steer us in the right path that we are meant to be on. That's all one can do. As a  Christian, we are taught that moments like these are not always made clear right at the start. Sometimes, we have to go through some things in life before the real purpose of this sudden change is made evident. 

I cannot tell you how many times I have reflected back on my struggles and realized the lesson learned from it. All Glory goes back to God and only Him. There is good in all things that come to pass, especially the bad moments. We just have to trust in Him to lead the way. 

Have a blessed day everyone.