Finding The Right Words

 

                                  Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.

Long though my task may be,

Cometh the end.
God't is that helpeth me,
His is the work, and He
New strength will lend.
ANON.

This blog began many years ago. It seems hard to believe that it's been twelve years since that first entry back in 2011. I honestly thought I was dying and needed to leave something behind for my children. My cancer had come back for the second time and I couldn't imagine surviving it again.

Little did I know that God had a plan for me. I'm still here, four-time cancer survivor, still plugging away. 

I wrote almost everyday for years about my experiences with cancer and my emotions. I didn't leave anything out. I went in and out of remission until finally I just stayed there. I have been cancer free now for 7 1/2 years! That, my friends, is a miracle!

For someone who has spent all these years going back and forth to the oncologist every three months, these past three years have been a dream. Three years ago, I received the best check up results of my life. I, no longer needed to go, but once a year. 

It also left me with a loss for words. What do I write about now? I would sit down and stare at a blank screen and no words came. Instead, emptiness and silence. It's as if I couldn't think of being anything other than a cancer patient. Who am I now? What do I have to offer someone on these pages? 

There is a part of me that wants to finish all the loose ends, the unwritten stories, the drafts laying hidden among the dust balls. The need to write about all the things one couldn't say before, the hard things and some messy ones as well. Once that is all done, where do we go from here?

This blog has been my steadfast journal of a journey I never asked for nor wanted. It happened and served a huge purpose not only in my life, but hopefully in yours, too. Writing still hasn't come easy as before. There have been times where no words could be expressed. I went fishing deep, deep inside and came up empty trying to find the right words.

I have no idea what will happen when all the drafts are done. Will it be time to turn off the laptop once for all? Only time will tell.

Have a blessed day everyone.