The Chaotic Pantry

                                                               Everyday is a brand new day,
                                                                everyday is a journey.



Chance cannot touch me! 
Time cannot hush me!
Fear, 
Hope, and longing,
 at strife;
Sink as I rise, on, on,
 upward forever,
Gathering strength, 
gaining breath--
Naught can sever
Me from the Spirit of Life.

--Margaret Fuller.

My beautifully organized pantry of old has turned into a chaotic mess! I would take a picture, but I'm way too embarrassed. Every time I walk inside, I imagine all of it tumbling down on top of me. I hate a mess! I detest clutter of any kind! To me, it just represent the mess in my life. 

Do I feel as if my life is a mess right now? Yes! I need order and stability. Right now, I have neither. There is this longing inside of me, a deep yearning and it cannot be materialized. Hence, the insecurity, the instability, the unease. Ugh, life is so hard!

I've been slowly cleaning up the shelves in that pantry. It was the pantry that sold me on this apartment. Otherwise, the place needed some work, but I always wanted a walk in pantry. Even as a child, I dreamed of having one where the shelves were stocked with everything up to the ceiling and I wanted nothing. All was there for my taking. To me, it seemed that the pantry represented security. Funny, isn't it?

Last year, we also stocked it up with items that were okay, but it took that long to finish it off. Would I buy it again? Nope, not all of it. My first pantry, I went a little crazy stocking up on almost everything at the store. I am a little selective this time around. The pantry is also filled with other things as well like cookware, coats and cleaning tools like a vacuum cleaner. What's in your pantry?

So I'm cleaning it up slowly, as I go. Sort of like my life right now. We are not living in a sitcom where our problems are solved in 30 minute intervals. Solutions take time and a lot of work. Besides, just like the pantry, you want to fill your life with all the right stock. 

Have a blessed day everyone. 

Just Share It: Anne Graham Lotz

                                                                       Everyday is a brand new day,
                                                                        everyday is a journey.



If my shut eyes should dare their lids to part,
  I know how they must quail beneath the blaze
  Of Thy Love's greatness. No; I dare not raise
  One prayer, to look aloft, lest it should gaze
  On such forgiveness as would break my heart.
H. S. SUTTON.

As many of you know, Anne Graham Lotz is going through chemotherapy as we speak. Her cancer happens to be breast cancer, one that has affected so many women. Today, she posted on her devotional this message about death. I wanted to share with you her story as it continues to unfold. She is an encouragement to us all, as is any cancer journey. All of us survivors are a testimony to our living God and His goodness. 

No Fear of Death

By: Anne Graham Lotz

Since the children have flesh and blood, he (Jesus) too shared in their humanity so that by his death he might destroy him who holds the power of death—that is, the devil—and free those who all their lives were held in slavery by their fear of death. Hebrews 2:14-15 My cancer journey continues as I begin chemotherapy this week. My heart aches for the multitude of people who have also dealt with this deadly disease. Yet I am praising God for His keeping power and for your prayers that I know are sustaining me in a constant state of peace, joy, and expectancy of blessings along the way. I have been told that my prognosis is excellent. But to be honest, even if it wasn’t, I can truthfully say I have no fear of death. None at all. My perspective is the same as the apostle Paul when he declared, For me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. (Philippians 1:21) As my brother-in-law, Dr. Denton Lotz, stated when he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer at the same time I was diagnosed with breast cancer, we are in a win-win situation. Facing death without fear was eloquently expressed by Jac, the grandson of my husband’s brother, John Lotz.  Jac’s mother knew he had been assigned by his teacher a written report on the person who had greatly impacted his spiritual life, but she didn’t know what he had written. After he left for school, she found the following on his computer. She then forwarded it to me. It was such a blessing, I asked Jac if I could share it with you, too, and he agreed. Denton, Jac and I are looking up!  Have a blessed day everyone.

This Is Life

                                                                       Everyday is a brand new day,

                                                                        everyday is a journey.

I can hear these violets chorus

    To the sky's benediction above;

  And we all are together lying

    On the bosom of Infinite Love.

 Oh, the peace at the heart of Nature!

    Oh, the light that is not of day!

  Why seek it afar forever,

    When it cannot be lifted away?

W. C. GANNETT.

We officially slept in today, waking well after 9:30 a.m.Yes, believe it alright. We came home late last night, tired and worn out from an exhausting day at work. Both of us have been struggling lately with our work situations and we were mentally drained. We stayed up well into the night sharing with each other our sorrows. Sometimes, we all need a good cry, don't we? Sometimes, we all need a shoulder to lean on.

I wish I could tell you everything has been resolved, but unfortunately this isn't a sitcom where the problems are solved in one episode. This is life. We need to make some tough decisions and it's not a pleasant endeavor. Life can be extremely difficult at times, our minds completely muddled where no outcome can be seen. Trusting in the Lord requires a deep faith. Do you have it? Sometimes, I wonder if I do.

My mind has been on these two friends of mine going through cancer treatment now. Each one is going through their journey rediscovering their path along the way. It isn't an easy one, but quite the opposite. One never knows what is hidden behind a rock, a bend in the road or a thick brush. Whenever I'm ministering to fellow cancer patients, I can always feel their pain. I can tell what struggle they are going through, but I know there is nothing I can do. They need to enter that tunnel so they can emerge on the other side so completely different, yet better.

Yesterday, we spent the afternoon saying goodbye to a couple moving back to Poland. He has early stages of dementia and their decision to move back had to do with health care. We had a wonderful time, but it is also sad to think how quickly our plans can change. I am sure this isn't anything how they thought their retirement would look like a few years back.

My heart and my mind is heavy, carrying the stress of everyone's sorrow. This is life and we are the ones who have to live it. We keep moving on accepting what is meant to be. 

Have a blessed day everyone. 

Uncommon Friendships

                                                              Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.






  I cannot feel
  That all is well, when darkening clouds conceal
      The shining sun;
      But then, I know
  He lives and loves; and say, since it is so,
      Thy will be done.
S. G. BROWNING.

Uncommon friendships, there are the rare ones where love and respect truly resides..

1.Uncommon friends can speak their minds without fear.
Do you have a friend like that? I've had many girlfriends where I thought we could actually speak like that to one another without offense. Well, let me tell you, be careful when doing so. I have found that the generational rules have changed when it come to friendships. To me, a friend was a friend forever. It isn't so any longer. People are placed in compartments of different type of relationships. 

2. Uncommon friends can share their hearts without shame.
Absolutely! Folks, I have finally been blessed with some grown women friends. By that I mean, we all have numerous friendships, but get yourself a really good friend that can listen to you without judgement. If we are honest with one another, that type of friend is rare. I have many acquaintances, but only one bestie. I'm always careful what I confide to a new person in my life. A bestie isn't someone you just met a week ago. This is someone who has earned that title by being around when you needed her.
3. Uncommon friends can be vulnerable with one another and still retain their dignity.
A friend to whom you can bare your soul, the ugliness and the pureness, yet they still love you. They wipe away your tears, give you a great hug and tell you it's okay. Do you have a friend like that? Unfortunately, I only have one, but I rather have the one than none. 

4. Uncommon friends can stay close even at a distance.
They can also pick up exactly where they left off as if they never been apart. My mom has a left like that and their friendship has lasted over 40 years. I hope my friendships can last as long, faithful and true.

Recently, I was in a Women's Bible study on David. We studied the great relationship he had with Jonathon. All four of these comments about uncommon friendships came from that study, because they had that kind of relationship. It is rare, it is beautiful, it is love.

Have a blessed day everyone. 

A Crocheting Life

                                                                           Everyday is a brand new day,
                                                                             everyday is a journey.




 It is not that I feel less weak,
 but Thou
  Wilt be my strength; 
it is not that I see
  Less sin;
 but more of pardoning love with Thee,
    And all-sufficient grace. 
Enough! And now
  All fluttering thought is stilled;
 I only rest,
  And feel that Thou art near, 
and know that I am blest.
F. R. HAVERGAL.


I think it's very obvious how much I love to crochet. It wasn't always the case. In fact, even though I learned how to crochet as a child, I didn't pick it up again until the age of 42 years old. I have written about that time of my life on numerous occasions so I won't bore my regular readers. 


When I reflect on these past 11 or so years, I find it sad, because I could have spent my youth crocheting as well. Why didn't I use it then? I could have clothed so many more people. How very selfish of me not to do so.

I am often asked why I never went into counseling in regards to my cancer. Well, the answer is very simple. My counseling sessions are right here on a daily basis and all of you are my therapist. I write or journal or whatever you may call it, but you guys are the ones who listen to me rant and rave. 

That's how I feel about crocheting, too. It has become a very therapeutic past time for me. I find it very relaxing, especially after a long and difficult week at work. I have dreams of spending my first Winter as a retiree just crocheting all snuggled in my tiny place. 

Today, was a great day to crochet and catch up on some YouTube channels that I have been following. It has been raining on and off all day. Both of us have been off from work and we put it to good use. I've been working on a homeless mat hoping to have it finished by the end of the night. Very relaxing day, indeed. 

Have a blessed day everyone. 

The Underdog

                                                                        Everyday is a brand new day,
                                                                        everyday is a journey. 





In the bitter waves of woe,
    Beaten and tossed about
  By the sullen winds that blow
    From the desolate shores of doubt,
  Where the anchors that faith has cast
    Are dragging in the gale,
  I am quietly holding fast
    To the things that cannot fail.
WASHINGTON GLADDEN.


I've  always sided with the underdog and in the Bible, there are many of them. I've always been able to relate to the people in the Bible, especially the ones that no one else understood nor wanted around. Take the woman at the well. How many of us have actually been that woman at one time or another? The same can be said of others in the Bible. We all have been there.

Take the Mary/Martha story. Honestly, it has been difficult for me to understand this Bible story. My son Joey, the Pastor, would remark: " Mom, if you had the chance to listen to Jesus speaking, would you be doing the dishes?" Unfortunately, knowing how I am in regards to work, I probably would be doing the dishes. I would want everything to be perfect for Jesus, but I do understand his point. If the opportunity arose for me to hear Jesus, I need to be sitting at His knee. 

It's the same in my everyday life. I get involved without being asked to get involved. If I see some injustice occur on the street, in the mall or neighborhood, I'm charging right toward it. I do so without thinking and that can get me in a lot of trouble and judgment from others. I get myself involved in things that I later regret.


Last night, I asked my friend at work: When did I become so unhappy here? Was it before or after I came to this shift? The answer? After. I don't like these people and I certainly don't like the management running this shift. Yet, here I am, stuck and unable to go anywhere for over four years. I have tried to love these people and it's not working out. I cannot wait for this new company to take over so I can move elsewhere. 

I have been helping the underdog at work for years and suddenly, I've become one. Who is coming to my rescue? Last night, another difficult night. I'm tired and I need to get out. I just don't know how. I have talked about this forever and I always get the same reply. God placed you there. Yes, He did, but there comes a point where the action has to come from me. I've also written about this anger that is coming out of me. I have no idea where or how this will end, but I do know  that action needs to come from me. I think I need to take care of something first and then everything will fall into place. Please pray for me and my family.

Have a blessed day everyone. 

Just Share It: John Piper

                                               Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.




Never yet was a springtime,
Late though lingered the snow,
That the sap stirred not at the whisper
Of the south wind, sweet and low;
Never yet was a springtime
When the buds forgot to blow.

Ever the wings of the summer
Are folded under the mold;
Life that has known no dying,
Is Love's, to have and to hold,
Till, sudden, the burgeoning Easter!
The song! the green and the gold!

--Margaret E. Sangster

I have always loved a good old fashioned storm, especially if I was on the inside. To me, storms are a great representation of God's Power. Just sit down and watch one in action and you will be amazed at the strength and beauty of God's handiwork! The next time you witness a storm, sit back and take a moment to admire the beauty of it.

Worship in a Lightning Storm By John Piper “For as the lightning flashes and lights up the sky from one side to the other, so will the Son of Man be in his day.” (Luke 17:24) I was flying at night from Chicago to Minneapolis, almost alone on the plane. The pilot announced that there was a thunderstorm over Lake Michigan and into Wisconsin. He would skirt it to the west to avoid turbulence. As I sat there staring out into the total blackness on the east side of the plane, suddenly the whole sky was brilliant with light, and a cavern of white clouds fell away four miles beneath the plane and then vanished. A second later, a mammoth white tunnel of light exploded from north to south across the horizon, and again vanished into blackness. Soon the lightning was almost constant, and volcanoes of light burst up out of cloud ravines and from behind distant white mountains of clouds. I sat there shaking my head almost in unbelief. O Lord, if these are but the sparks from the sharpening of your sword, what will be the day of your appearing! And I remembered the words of Christ: “As the lightning flashes and lights up the sky from one side to the other, so will the Son of Man be in his day” (Luke 17:24). Even now as I recollect that sight, the word glory is full of feeling for me. I thank God that again and again he has awakened my heart to desire him, to see him, and to sit down to the feast of Christian Hedonism and worship the King of Glory. The banquet hall is very large. Come. Have a blessed day everyone.