Thought Conditioners

I am fat .

I am aging terribly , looking so old .

People will talk about me .

I am such a bad person .

How many of us have held such negative and demeaning thoughts about ourselves ? I know I have . I've spent a lifetime thinking of thoughts such as these , always putting my self - worth down the drain before anyone else could . I have used sarcasm and poked fun at myself  for years , all because I didn't want people to be laughing at me , but with me .

I've always wondered why I allowed self - doubt and uncertainty to lurk behind the crevices of my soul and pop out at the latest opportunity . I know it's not from God and yet , I let it in and accept as fact . Over the years , they have become my best friends , settling in and getting comfy .

Now that my children are grown , I have seen the same behavior in them . Negative thoughts and feelings venture from their lips whenever life becomes hard . I hear it in their words , their voices and my heart sinks . Is this the legacy I've handed down to them ?

As the years passed ,  I pummeled myself with negativity , my children watched and absorbed every word and action to use themselves later on . Why did I not see this happening ? Is it too late for this cycle to stop ?

I wish I could take back all those comments . I've never realized  the effect they would have not just on myself , but on my children . Why shouldn't they behave in the same manner ? Haven't I shown them that this is the norm ?

While I can't remove the past , I can change the future . No longer will my grandchildren hear negativity , but praise , praise and more praise . I will encourage and shout out loud how absolutely unique and beautiful they really are becoming .

Have a Blessed day everyone.