September's End

If I had to define what September brought , I'd have to say - worry . Never has a month swept  in like a tornado and leveled every feeling of security as September . Whatever was , has gone . 

 When my finances took a hit with sudden unexpected bills , I dipped into my savings . Almost a year into my chemo therapy and another several dips into the rest of the savings left it depleted and now we have to start all over . It's been quite awhile since I had no safety net , no nest egg for that rainy day . 

The old saying , be careful what you ask for  , took on a very personal meaning this month , with work slowing down considerably . A couple of shutdown days with no pay occurred and promises of more to come  suddenly turned the future bleak . 

I've been looking for a package from my company for years , hoping to settle near my son's family . Now , as that might become an actuality , I'm really scared . . . . scared of not making it . Scared of regretting that decision . Just plain scared of the unknown . What if I'm not ready ? 

Most important question of all ? Is it really  a smart move on my part to take my daughter away from all of her friends and move somewhere where she will be alone when I'm gone ? 

September has been a month of worrying . A month that has placed many concerns and questions into my head . Am I really doing the right thing ? Is God's plan , really my plan ? 

As the winter months loom ahead , I question if I need to make preparations for a new set of plans . Even the personal goals of both of us have been challenged with results not as pleasing . Is it time for new ones ? Should we abandon the original plan , hopes and wishes ? The winter months are good for things such as these pondering's  . . . . it's called hibernation . 

Have a Blessed day everyone .