Running Out Of Gas

I'm bored . There's nothing to do . 

When my children were small , I'd hear these two phrases quite often . Children have no idea how to be still and need constant activities to occupy their busy little minds . Now that they're older , they have no time to be bored . 

Nothing infuriates more than to hear that in an adult . For me , there's not enough time in the day to accomplish what I need to 
do . It boggles my mind to think that anyone could be just plain bored . There's so much a person could be involved in , especially in this day and age . 

I often ask myself , how can it be that you can have a person who is involved in everything  and then another person who does nothing . They each have the same opportunities , yet one partakes in them and the other isn't even aware of them . 

These days , I find myself running out of gas . I'm extremely tired and physically feeling the long term usage of chemo . It's been almost a year ( if not already ) of nonstop treatment , something I've never had to encounter before . This is very foreign for me . 

Keeping busy has always been a way of life for me . I like the feeling of accomplishment that follows when a project comes to a completion . The thought of not being able to be active fills me with failure . The failure of not living my life to it's fullest  potential . 

I know there have been times , I've complained about not having time to myself or just wanting to sleep in late , but it's those times I feel like I'm really alive . Even now , as I write , my eyes are closing with sleep . I'm very tired , my friends and keeping up is getting harder and harder . 

The thought of taking on anymore activities fills me with despair . There is a point where one takes on too much and becomes embroiled way over their head . I certainly don't want that to happen to me . 

As I look ahead to the coming months , I can see already I will have to say no to a lot of activities . I know I will have to rest more and not feel guilty for doing so . What happens when we run out of
 gas ? Trot back on foot and it's a long , long walk .

Have a Blessed day everyone .