Throwback Thursday

Chemo . . . . Linda hated chemo and would literally pray for Jesus to walk with her as she entered the hospitals corridors. She taught me that whenever I was afraid deeply of something all I had to say was "Jesus, would you walk with me?"

Nowadays, I use that phrase for those times of fear that embrace our hearts and worry sets in and so does negativity. It warms me instantly.

Chemo and this whole cancer thing has been very difficult on my children. As the years have passed, so has their acceptance of it. Going to chemo has always been a problem, especially for Emily. She has never really seen me taking the infusion or my baldness. I believe it brings home that fact that I have cancer and it may appear as if I'm helpless. Children are not used to seeing their parents as victims.

Another fun tidbit regarding the song: My sister-in-law Pam, was listening to the radio that very night when that song came on and she immediately thought of me. Upon reading the blog, she remarked how she was just thinking of me and that song. Coincidence? I think not.

All Of Me

 I can't even begin to tell you how much I dreaded going to chemo this morning .  There was total silence in the car . For once Emily sat quiet . Sanctus Real came on the radio singing "All Of Me " and I cried the rest of the way . I have no idea why . I have no jokes for you today .

Afraid to love
Something that could break
Could I move on
If you were torn away

And I'm so close
To what I can't control
I can't give you half my heart
And pray He makes you whole

You're gonna have all of me
You're gonna have all of me
Cause you're worth every falling tear
You're worth facing any fear
You're gonna know all my love
Even if it's not enough
Enough to mend our broken hearts
But giving you all of me
Is where I'll start

I won't let sadness
Steal you from my arms
I won't let pain
Keep you from my heart
I'd trade the fear
Of all that I could lose
For every moment
I'll share with you

You're gonna have all of me
You're gonna have all of me
Cause you're worth every falling tear
You're worth facing any fear
You're gonna know all my love
Even if it's not enough
Enough to mend our broken hearts
But giving you all of me
Is where I'll start

And Heaven brought you to this moment
It's too wonderful to speak
You're worth all of me
You're worth all of me
So let me recklessly love you
Even if I bleed
You're worth all of me
You're worth all of me

You're gonna have all of me
You're gonna have all of me
Cause you're worth every falling tear
You're worth facing any fear
You're gonna know all my love
Even if it's not enough
Enough to mend our broken hearts
But giving you all of me
Is where I'll start

You're gonna have all of me
Cause you're worth every falling tear
You're worth facing any fear
You're gonna know all my love
Even if it's not enough
Enough to mend our broken hearts
But giving you all of me
Is where I'll start
It's where I'll start

Have a Blessed day everyone.