The Anniversary

                                                  Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.



Not from the dangers that beset our path
From storm or sudden death, or pain or wrath,
We pray deliverance;
But from the envious eye, the narrowed mind
Of those that are the vultures of mankind
Thy aid advance.

Not at the strong man's righteous rage or hate,
But at the ambushed malice laid in wait
Thy strength arise;
At those who ever seek to spot the fair
White garments of a neighbor's character
With mud of lies.

--Theodosia P. Garrison^.

<sup>The minute I pulled into the parking lot, my entire mood shifted from carefree to just plain bad. I started complaining about the lack of parking space and the distance I had to walk. Suddenly, I could feel the ache of all my joints, knees and the carpel tunnel in my right hand. If there was an ache somewhere on my body, I felt it right then and there. Everything felt wrong.

It must have been my work anniversary that brought on all these negative feelings and thoughts. I have worked here for 22 years this month. I felt so unappreciated and discontented, but was it really fair? Was it really the job that made me feel like that? Or was it the fact of where I was in my life? I am where I am, but I'm not where I want to be. 

I had spent such a lovely weekend with my Ministry ladies doing Ministry work. I love what I do outside of my work. I felt fulfilled and satisfied with the productiveness of the weekend. Then I walked into here.

As the day went on, everything changed, I  could feel myself falling deeper and deeper into a depressed state. Nothing made me happy. Nothing seemed right. My cup was half empty. All I wanted was to leave and go home continuing my other life. What I considered my happy life.

It's so hard to feel thankful when all we see are lemons among the ruins. As one of my friends pointed out, my work life seems to interfere with my private life. Almost blocking my light. That's true. I need my job to pay for my existence. This is how I make a living, but it doesn't satisfy me. This isn't my Ministry. This isn't my life. 

I was never able to combine my work with a calling like our Pastors have always mentioned in Church. I have heard numerous sermons on how God has placed us where we are at for a reason. I never have been able to find that reason in relations to a Holy calling. How do I use my job to do the work of Christ there? Never been able to see it. 

There have been so many changes here in the last five years. My shift has been eliminated and so has my position. I went to a different shift that altered my daily schedule drastically. A new position I had to learn. Many adjustments and only a few that were pleasant. It was difficult for me to adapt to the new environment. This is certainly not what I thought my remaining years would look like at work. A very humbling experience.

This is a reminder on how quickly our life can change. Are we prepared for what is to come? I doubt it. Many of us basically float from one day to the next living in a dream state of one day things will be different. 

A fellow co-worker has passed away on the weekend. I cannot help, but wonder if she was prepared spiritually. What was her faith like? Life is truly short. She died in her sleep, relatively young, between forties and early fifties. So quick, she's onto her next journey. Did she make her life count while she was here. I certainly hope that is the case for me. I want to make every minute count. I'm sure you do, too.

Have a blessed day everyone.</sup>